I don't understand. This site is here to help people recover. There are a great number of people who will be triggered by descriptions of good cutting feels, therefore we must censor ourselves in order to account for them. Since so many are triggered by this, RYL must have these rules in place to help them.
Of course we all get something out of harming, but the fact that people get something out of it isn't reason enough to allow people to preach it. You can do that in your personal blogs or what have you; it's not necessary on RYL.
Of course. I am completely against the normalisation that goes on around here and when I see it I will try to challenge it. However, it is implicit that harming feels good or that people get something out of it. Otherwise people wouldn't struggle so much in trying to stop it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Hierophant
I think, now, recoveryourlife is a site purely for recovery. / because i remember it never used to be, we all self harmed and we came together, that was it, with support thrown in.
there used to be a place for people who weren't ready to recover, but now it seems there isn't, changes are being bought in place and it's always the same people in these threads, & these same people all seem to not be ready to recover just yet, maybe i'm wrong.
but there they are the same people in these threads debating for the minority & i think now, that the minority are people who are in a different place to the majority & i think that minority are the people not quite ready to completely recover.
so maybe this site is focused around recovery and those recovering. & those who aren't ready are out, i don't know,
my take.
I do think that the site is about recovery and nothing else. Whilst those who are not ready to recover are somewhat welcome, it can be misconstrued as being for/pro self-harm.
I've accepted that I'm different to the majority here in that I am not addicted, I don't cut every day or every week or every month. I also take responsibility for it and acknowledge that it is a stupid thing to do. But it helps when I am at my most desperate. I wouldn't say I'm not ready to recover, because my problems don't revolve around self-harm, if that makes sense? Once my problems are lessened, I won't need to self-harm. I know that my eating and body image stuff is on-going, and I doubt I'll ever get over that. But again, it really comes to fore during times of stress.
I'm anorexic and I purge. I don't feel the need to say how good it feels.
Sometimes I write about how it felt good and a relief for me to purge. I would never encourage people to do it, but I need to get those thoughts out of my head or they go round and round and destroy me even more. I know my anorexia is a very strong voice I find difficult to separate form my own, and it says things like 'that was good' in relation to negative behaviours. If I don't rant those out, I struggle to tell them apart from my own thoughts.
I'm glad you don't need to do this.I'd hate anyone to have to.
This is what the site wants to achieve, but sadly, sorry mods I know you do a hard job, it's not. Slowly more & more changes are being brought in for the majority, & the majority are coming to site expecting it to be for recovery... purely for the name.
I'm anorexic and I purge. I don't feel the need to say how good it feels.
Some people do. If you don't like it, don't read it? Going into graphic detail is against the rules, saying that you got something positive out of purging isn't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeaCulpa
RYL is meant to be about acceptance, no matter where you are with recovery. It's not there to help you recover. It's there to offer an outlet, let you ask questions, get support in dealing with your thoughts and to encourage you to speak out to someone in real life. Not to help you recover.
I've accepted that I'm different to the majority here in that I am not addicted, I don't cut every day or every week or every month. I also take responsibility for it and acknowledge that it is a stupid thing to do. But it helps when I am at my most desperate. I wouldn't say I'm not ready to recover, because my problems don't revolve around self-harm, if that makes sense? Once my problems are lessened, I won't need to self-harm. I know that my eating and body image stuff is on-going, and I doubt I'll ever get over that. But again, it really comes to fore during times of stress.
See this is the point I think needs to be hit home more, & something I have always believed, i don't think self harm is a problem to begin with ever, i think it is a response to a situation, i think to tackle you hurting yourself as a problem farcicle, what is making you want to hurt yourself in the first place should be tackled, because without wanting to hurt yourself then if there is a lingering addiction or more likely, a struggle with a new identity then that can be tackled.
actually, there are kids on this site. I've come across 12 year olds more than once and for them to read some of the things in R&V, can and possibly will be, damaging.
But then again, I am strongly against having people that young on a site like this as I believe in the long run, it will be more harmful than helpful to them. Kids, struggling or not, shouldn't read things like this.
Den fuldkomne kærlighed,
Kan ikke eksistere blandt ufuldkomne
I have a ton of pages to read through before I feedback properly (because my opinion is sort of changing on this) but am I right in thinking that I/we can just carry on as we are until we are told we have gone too far? Because that seems to be a decent way to know if we're going too far or not. I understand it'll be a lot of work for mods, but this is such a vague rule that I don't really see any other way.
Life is about love, last minutes and lost evenings,
About fire in our bellies and furtive little feelings,
And the aching amplitudes that set our needles all a-flickering,
And help us with remembering that the only thing that's left to do is live.
actually, there are kids on this site. I've come across 12 year olds more than once and for them to read some of the things in R&V, can and possibly will be, damaging.
But then again, I am strongly against having people that young on a site like this as I believe in the long run, it will be more harmful than helpful to them. Kids, struggling or not, shouldn't read things like this.
Agreed.
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
See this is the point I think needs to be hit home more, & something I have always believed, i don't think self harm is a problem to begin with ever, i think it is a response to a situation, i think to tackle you hurting yourself as a problem farcicle, what is making you want to hurt yourself in the first place should be tackled, because without wanting to hurt yourself then if there is a lingering addiction or more likely, a struggle with a new identity then that can be tackled.
Yep. If the core problem/s aren't sorted you'll have an uphill battle. Self-harm is a coping mechanism, and a bad one. It doesn't actually help solve the problem, but may well add other ones on top.
Yep. If the core problem/s aren't sorted you'll have an uphill battle. Self-harm is a coping mechanism, and a bad one. It doesn't actually help solve the problem, but may well add other ones on top.
But the rules don't say someone cannot say "That cut felt good, I feel better now."
Since the rules of this site are seemingly formed by the mystical majority, shouldn't we be allowed to discuss them?
That to me, is not glamourizing the problem.
You've said what you did and now you feel better. It's when people go into massive detail that turns it into a problem.
That to me, is not glamourizing the problem.
You've said what you did and now you feel better. It's when people go into massive detail that turns it into a problem.
I know, but it was said in response to the other poster effectively saying people need to go elsewhere to say how good something felt.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Hierophant
i think the majority are the members that come, post in serious & don't use the rest of the site, thats just my idea.
Each time you post I like you a little bit more.
Jodie, I don't even read Serious. I know that it will upset me and so I take responsibility for myself and avoid it.
![[Purple_Rain]'s Avatar](image.php?s=7b054c883b9667b3b4456c06475a539c&u=153&dateline=1251793099)
