Well, unfortunately, saying "Oh that cut felt good" is glamorising cutting; that is a cold, hard fact. Whether it is an expression of how a person feels or not is unimportant. It will potentially remind a reader of their positive experiences of cutting; it will potentially remind a reader of the enjoyable effects of cutting; it will potentially encourage a reader to cut, experience these enjoyable effects, ignore the negative repercussions.
I am all for ranting and venting, but if you wish to say such things then do so through a medium which is not primarily a source of safety. It is not necessary to post solely on RYL. In fact, one's adamance to post such things on RYL suggests to me an ulterior motive.
I couldn't agree more with this. In fact, posts using multiple Xs or *s suggest to me an ulterior motive as well. If one wishes only to use an X or an * in order to replace numbers it should not be an issue to use only a single one. Wishing to use more suggests that you are indeed using more in order to suggest that they are replacing a high number.
The whole point of RYL is to provide support and a sanctuary for sufferers to help each other. Unfortunately, RYL would not be fulfilling its purpose were it to allow any forum to go unmoderated. The restrictions are in place to protect sufferers. Again, if you wish to post completely freely, do so on your Livejournal, Tumblr, Blogger or endless others.
But stating this feeling is precisely what is going to encourage a reader to do the same. Members of this forum who cut are (mostly) all here because they enjoy/ed cutting - a post containing such a comment as that of which you have given an example will potentially, as I said earlier, encourage a reader to do the same in order to achieve the same feeling.
/Point
Another obtuse analogy. Murder is considerably more extreme than self harm. It's like asking whether someone would jump from a cliff. Of course the average person isn't going to kill themselves because they were told to do it, but they might steal from a shop if there is enough pressure upon them to do so.
This is a very good and well-made point.
RYL itself is a site for recovery. In order to achieve this, it has been decided that there need to be restrictions on what can be posted. RYL is a place where you should think about what you're typing. One has to consider others as well as oneself. That is RYL, if you wish to do otherwise there are various other websites where you can do so.
pointless post but holy hell, that is a long reply.
Last edited by [Purple_Rain] : 02-01-2011 at 05:11 PM.
Reason: removed reference to deleted post
I think, for a lot of people (myself included), R/V is used as a form of communication as much as it is a rant otherwise people would post freely in a private journal or Word doc.
So it seems important that people think about what they're effectively trying to communicate to their 'readers' - if that makes any sense.
"I cut last night and it was phenomenal and my senses were all high and I felt euphoric and I wanna do it again and again."
If it was so obvious this thread wouldn't need to exist and there wouldn't be people asking for clarifications.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cymraesfach
Well, unfortunately, saying "Oh that cut felt good" is glamorising cutting; that is a cold, hard fact. Whether it is an expression of how a person feels or not is unimportant. It will potentially remind a reader of their positive experiences of cutting; it will potentially remind a reader of the enjoyable effects of cutting; it will potentially encourage a reader to cut, experience these enjoyable effects, ignore the negative repercussions.
So maybe R&V shouldn't exist at all? Remember that RYL is meant to be open to everyone regardless of their recovery status. Remember also that is is the choice and responsibility of the individual as to what they do with their lives. Everyone has the choice of whether or not they harm themselves, and if we need to censor ourselves to the extent where we cannot potentially trigger someone it gets to a point where no one can post anything. The entire site is upsetting in some way.
I think, for a lot of people (myself included), R/V is used as a form of communication as much as it is a rant otherwise people would post freely in a private journal or Word doc.
So it seems important that people think about what they're effectively trying to communicate to their 'readers' - if that makes any sense.
Again, this.
I mostly use my R&V thread to write stuff down that's bothering me, (obviously) but then my best friend will read it and know what's going on for me when I don't feel up to telling her and vice versa. I use it for the things I couldn't say to anyone else, rather than flame about my crappy life and how much I want to die.
Again, this.
I mostly use my R&V thread to write stuff down that's bothering me, (obviously) but then my best friend will read it and know what's going on for me when I don't feel up to telling her and vice versa. I use it for the things I couldn't say to anyone else, rather than flame about my crappy life and how much I want to die.
/end.
Maybe people are posting those things as a form of communication also.
I personally struggle with the internal conflict of knowing that my behaviours are unhealthy and negative, but also knowing that they do help me and on some level I do like them because of that. I want to be able to rant out this and part of that is saying whatever behaviour felt good and how much I enjoyed it.
Well, unfortunately, saying "Oh that cut felt good" is glamorising cutting; that is a cold, hard fact. Whether it is an expression of how a person feels or not is unimportant. It will potentially remind a reader of their positive experiences of cutting; it will potentially remind a reader of the enjoyable effects of cutting; it will potentially encourage a reader to cut, experience these enjoyable effects, ignore the negative repercussions.
I am all for ranting and venting, but if you wish to say such things then do so through a medium which is not primarily a source of safety. It is not necessary to post solely on RYL. In fact, one's adamance to post such things on RYL suggests to me an ulterior motive.
Well excuse me for wanting to post this on a site that provides no judgment, support & understanding on the issues you face where other places cannot provide you this.
If by saying a cut felt good and you want to do it again&again, then threads in SI discussion & threads in Serious & threads in ED forum are all triggering too, which is a fact anyway, and labels were removed because it is going to trigger & you do enter at your own risk, but that's the common theme when someone posts about their behaviors, how relieved and how good it felt, how they feel better, how they feel in control, and as you said, that's why we are here, because we enjoy the feelings of what these behaviors give us inside.
Any thread about the behaviors people engage in can trigger anyone to go & do that behavior, it shouldn't have to stop people from expressing how they feel about it though, and the majority of the time, it doesn't.
People say how good a cut felt in both R&V & in other parts of the forums, and they say they want to do it again, that's why people post for support half the time, because they are tempted to do it again - that triggers people, and yet it can still be posted.
I don't see how R&V is any different than that. In R&V, you're expressing how you feel more in depth than you would when you post for support, because that's your own space to talk about what goes through your mind.
I don't see people in R&V saying that cutting is a good thing to do & that they'd recommend it for anyone in distress, I don't see people encouraging it, and I don't see how saying it felt good to cut is glamorizing, it's expressing how you feel about something you do to cope.
This forum is going to trigger people to do xyz, simply by talking about it, simply by posting for support about it, you can't really avoid that from happening though, especially not on this forum.
edit;
Regarding posting in R&V for communication also, I do that as well, mostly for my Fiancee as she does with me, I don't see how that's a bad thing though, at the same time as expressing yourself, you're also expressing yourself for people who care about you to see & to know what's really going on inside when it is too fearful to do outside of that forum.
Just because some people say how good it feels doesn't mean you have to do it, too.
We're not children, here.
You're right, we're not children. We don't need our hands holding and we don't need a super-parent to keep us protected from the big bad world. We should be able to discuss and talk about things in a mature manner and be able to take responsibility for our own actions. We should acknowledge that no one makes us do anything, that the power to control our actions is our own.
Saying how good something feels is essentially what this site is about. Otherwise why would we have thousands of people asking for support on how to stop harming themselves? We all get something out of harming.
Well excuse me for wanting to post this on a site that provides no judgment, support & understanding on the issues you face where other places cannot provide you this.
If by saying a cut felt good and you want to do it again&again, then threads in SI discussion & threads in Serious & threads in ED forum are all triggering too, which is a fact anyway, and labels were removed because it is going to trigger & you do enter at your own risk, but that's the common theme when someone posts about their behaviors, how relieved and how good it felt, how they feel better, how they feel in control, and as you said, that's why we are here, because we enjoy the feelings of what these behaviors give us inside.
Any thread about the behaviors people engage in can trigger anyone to go & do that behavior, it shouldn't have to stop people from expressing how they feel about it though, and the majority of the time, it doesn't.
People say how good a cut felt in both R&V & in other parts of the forums, and they say they want to do it again, that's why people post for support half the time, because they are tempted to do it again - that triggers people, and yet it can still be posted.
I don't see how R&V is any different than that. In R&V, you're expressing how you feel more in depth than you would when you post for support, because that's your own space to talk about what goes through your mind.
I don't see people in R&V saying that cutting is a good thing to do & that they'd recommend it for anyone in distress, I don't see people encouraging it, and I don't see how saying it felt good to cut is glamorizing, it's expressing how you feel about something you do to cope.
This forum is going to trigger people to do xyz, simply by talking about it, simply by posting for support about it, you can't really avoid that from happening though, especially not on this forum.
Sarah, look sweet, I'm not being funny and I'm not being harsh but it really is starting to sound like you think this thread and the examples used are taken from your own R&V threads. Fair enough, you may have written some stuff that people find triggering or 'glamorous' or whatever else the problems may be and I get that it clearly bothers you so you feel the need to write it down in whatever way you feel necessary but can you not see that writing it in such a way that is glamorizing SH or any other behaviour(s) one may engage in, is going to be damaging at some point to either yourself, or another member?
I see where you're coming from regarding the trigger labels being removed and IMHO, that was silly. (but that's a different topic, completely.)
There is a difference between someone writing that they cut xxxxxxx times and it was proper amazing and it gave them such a massive high to see all the blood and have xxxx stitches and to then take the ******** pills they've saved up and then b/p for xxxxxxxx hours because it was so ****ing good and it made them feel immense or to write that your day / night was difficult. You struggled with SH and numerous other behaviours and you're struggling. Okay, it made you feel fab so you want to write about the release it gave you but to go into massive detail like that is going totally off the mark. There are quite a few younger members on here now and for them to see something like that would be worrying.
So, RYL is supposed to keep you safe, right? Or at least try to help you alongside whatever other support you've got going on. So, no matter what forum / thread you go in, why would you want to come across something like that? I'm not saying it's you, so don't be assuming I am again but, is it really necessary that you're descriptions of last nights episodes are so graphic?
I don't see people in R&V saying that cutting is a good thing to do & that they'd recommend it for anyone in distress, I don't see people encouraging it, and I don't see how saying it felt good to cut is glamorizing, it's expressing how you feel about something you do to cope.
Personally, I believe that a post which puts an action such as cutting (which is a terrible way to deal with things, dangerous and harmful) in such a positive light is glamorising. This site is for recovery, not for poetic descriptions of how lovely it is to cut yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The One Who
Saying how good something feels is essentially what this site is about. Otherwise why would we have thousands of people asking for support on how to stop harming themselves? We all get something out of harming.
I don't understand. This site is here to help people recover. There are a great number of people who will be triggered by descriptions of good cutting feels, therefore we must censor ourselves in order to account for them. Since so many are triggered by this, RYL must have these rules in place to help them.
Of course we all get something out of harming, but the fact that people get something out of it isn't reason enough to allow people to preach it. You can do that in your personal blogs or what have you; it's not necessary on RYL.
Forget your perfect offering
There's a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
Leonard Cohen
I think, now, recoveryourlife is a site purely for recovery. / because i remember it never used to be, we all self harmed and we came together, that was it, with support thrown in.
there used to be a place for people who weren't ready to recover, but now it seems there isn't, changes are being bought in place and it's always the same people in these threads, & these same people all seem to not be ready to recover just yet, maybe i'm wrong.
but there they are the same people in these threads debating for the minority & i think now, that the minority are people who are in a different place to the majority & i think that minority are the people not quite ready to completely recover.
so maybe this site is focused around recovery and those recovering. & those who aren't ready are out, i don't know,
I was thinking about this. What is the minimum age to join?
'Cause if it's 14 or something, younger members will be impressionable.
I think you need to be thirteen to join, but let's face it a younger person could easily tick the box. It's like any other site that way. I think that the entire site will make an impression on anyone who is new to self-harm.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayakov
I don't come here to say how good cutting feels. That's not what this site is for me.
Well, good, but some people will be struggling with that conflict. Perhaps more those who are dealing with EDs. Just because you don't need to do something doesn't mean everyone can follow that example. I don't need to cut every day or every other day, or every month, but it doesn't mean everyone else can follow that.
I think you need to be thirteen to join, but let's face it a younger person could easily tick the box. It's like any other site that way. I think that the entire site will make an impression on anyone who is new to self-harm.
Yes. But better the impression that doesn't describe SH as a good thing.
It's something to beat not to appreciate. IMO.
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
RYL is meant to be about acceptance, no matter where you are with recovery. It's not there to help you recover. It's there to offer an outlet, let you ask questions, get support in dealing with your thoughts and to encourage you to speak out to someone in real life. Not to help you recover.
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