I've been thinking about it, and realizing that I was doing self-injury type things long before I actually started what I considered self-harming. For example, for about as long as I can remember, I've compulsively picked at the skin on my lips/fingertips until it bled, pulled my hair out, picked at scabs, etc. Now, I didn't have the best childhood in the first place, but I'm still wondering...could it be that I'm somehow predisposed (genetically or otherwise) to self-harm? Does anyone have similar stories?
-Krim
Last edited by sherlock holmes : 01-01-2011 at 12:36 PM.
Reason: removed trigger label- please only use ones from drop down list
"You cannot take what you have not given, and you must give yourself." -Shevek, The Dispossessed(Ursula K. LeGuin)
I think it's possible. I remember one incident very vividly from when I was around six that I found a piece of broken glass in my yard and tried to cut myself with it.
Then things like that were more a fascination. I was always injuring myself just because I was overly reckless with things... jumping off swings, 'falling' down stairs.
And I know two of my sisters have done it, so I guess there might be something genetic to it also... I'm not sure but it is something I have also wondered about since I was little.
Yeah, maybe. I've always picked at scabs too. I kind of enjoy it. And I've had trichotillomania for years. I can remember trying to break my ankle and stuff when I was younger, but I think that was more out of wanting to get the attention and stuff. I know that I like being able to look after myself after SI. Maybe that's a big motivator I have for SI.
Forget your perfect offering
There's a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
Leonard Cohen
i've picked my skin and stuff since i was little. and one of my brothers does too, though not nearly as badly....
though, i'm thinking that it isn't so much predisposed to SH as it is to feeling anxious or depressed. and then that leads towards the other stuff. like you're more anxious so you start biting your nails more, or twisting your hair, and it just goes past the normal level of that stuff
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
Perhaps not predisposed, more that it could be a primitive or instinctive reaction to external stresses. Everyone will have done something that could be broadly classed as 'self-harm' at some point.
I have thought of this before, cos since I was about 4 I've been compulsively picking my skin until it bleeds, and even then back then it got worse when I was more anxious (cos my mum noticed). I even tried to get my friend to agree to break my arm once! My mum also used to SI so maybe there is something there, but it could just be anxiety or mental illness that is predisposed.
Last edited by pixiedust_11 : 31-12-2010 at 01:41 PM.
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
Yeah, I've bitten my nails til they bleed since I was 3 and I used to pull my hair out as a child. I only noticed this once I started to SI with my tools:/
I don't think that it necessarily means that one is predisposed to SI, but I do know what you mean. I used to pick at my lips until they bled and have always picked at scabs, my skin and bitten/ripped my nails. I never really considered it SI and didn't know what I was doing. It's only now I'm older that I'm starting to realise how young I was when I first took my anxieties out on my body.
I remember how I used to rest my wrist on a hot radiator to see how long I could stand it for. I only burnt myself once in that way, though. I also used to repeatedly hit myself lightly, usually on the wrist, until it went red and swollen, long before I even knew what self-harm was. I have a vivid memory of sitting in class watching a video and hitting my wrist on the back of my chair, just to see how it felt. I did used to worry compulsively when I was younger, so maybe that's why.
sort of-
i've always picked at my skin and never let scabs heal. i have a lot of acne, so i always pick at that too. one of my nervous habits is digging my nails into my skin. there are some other things, but i wont go into detail
i guess i never really thought of that...
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
Tbh, I had a fairly normal childhood, other than being bullied through primary school. But I keep telling myself that that's got nothing to do with anything..
Idk, I've always picked a scabs, and I used to make myself sit in ways that I knew would hurt or give me pins and needles ect...
i have always picked scabs, and the skin around my nails. i probably did other things too, and i thought about hurting myself with sharps a lot when i was little.
take one step at a time, keep your head held high, and your eyes on Him, always.
I definitely think it's possible. I remember intentionally hurting myself as a small child on many occasions.
My younger sister used to hit her head off of the floor/wall when she was frustrated or angry even when she was only a year old. I have recently found out that she still occasionally self harms.
My brother has also shown some pretty severe self harm, though his type is different because he is autistic.
However, I still find it interesting that all 3 of us have engaged in self harm from an early age. I'm sure our similar upbringing had something to do with it.
Just what am I supposed to say?
And tell you why I turned out this way?
Don't make me. Don't make me.
Hmm, I remember when I was younger I would be so mad when iIgot in trouble. I would be sent to my room and then while I was in my room I would do things like hit myself in the head repeatedly. And I vividly remember the feeling good afterwards.
