I agree with you Miss.
It's a R&V forum where you are supposed to not censor how you really feel about YOURSELF, about how you feel and what you think. I don't think that should be limited.
Especially when you are in a rage & need to get it out as soon as.
I have to always rephrase what I say in fear that I may trigger someone or come off as being pro for the behaviours I engage in, when really I am merely trying to say how I feel about the behaviour I've just engaged in, what I think about it, why I did it, what I was feeling/thinking during it, and the aftermath of it.
Glamorising can appear to be a post that says "Oh that cut felt so good", but it doesn't mean that it's good to cut and promoting it or anything, it just means to that person, for them, as someone said, it FELT good for them. It was a relief for them.
I don't know how that can appear like it's encouraging/promoting self harm or glamorising it when they are just expressing how they feel.
I do understand this - well how it happens. Often when I am getting my feelings out in words, when I read it back I see I have written things that could be seen as glamourising. I think this is because I am being very truthful, honest and saying things I wouldn't say in other situations. Also perhaps because the style I write in is quite wordy and because I feel things very strongly. (sorry dont think i explained that very well!)
However, I do also sometimes find myself reading rants in the r/v board and getting slightly 'triggered' because it FEELS to me like they are encouraging it and making it sound glamourous. I do realise that isn't their intent probably and my interpretation and that it is my feelings so I should be more responsible with where I look and what I read. Still, I do feel that.
About the numbers, to me X is so much better than XXX. I think it's because everyone knows that 2000 calories is the RDA for most women, and that makes it clear that XXX is going to be less than half that, which is a drastic difference - so I just don't understand why people need to make it clear that they are eating that much. I guess to me it seems like a a bit of competitive/comparitive (as in very comparing to other people) behaviour.
It is often said to focus on the feelings (which i do agree with) but then again, all the other stuff does exist so letting it out somewhere must be good.. I think.
The Mole was bewitched, entranced, fascinated. By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spell-bound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on to him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea.
Wind in the Willows.
I don't know how that can appear like it's encouraging/promoting self harm or glamorising it when they are just expressing how they feel.
Exactly.
I actually think it can be bad for people to hold in this sort of thing. I don't believe that you can get over an addiction without seeing the whole picture. I use my private journal now for my own reasons, but nevertheless, R/V is a place where people can get everything out. I know when I censor things, I feel like I'm ignoring it and pretending it's not there. So if I censor that doing X or Y felt like a relief, then I feel like I'm denying that fact to myself and I'm not seeing the whole picture, and I don't feel like I can get over this addiction without seeing the whole picture.
Does that make sense?
Life is about love, last minutes and lost evenings,
About fire in our bellies and furtive little feelings,
And the aching amplitudes that set our needles all a-flickering,
And help us with remembering that the only thing that's left to do is live.
^ And if I did want to write 38484 I would go on another site, but I simply want to write the word good next to what I have done to myself if that's my feeling about it.
^ And if I did want to write 38484 I would go on another site, but I simply want to write the word good next to what I have done to myself if that's my feeling about it.
Oh right. . . .
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
I can understand why you're getting so angry / annoyed / upset about the fact that now, we're being told to limit what we're saying, even in the R&V forum but, really, you're overreacting.. /:
Would it really hurt to just leave out some numbers and replace it with a * or x?
Or to not post things like, "that cut was so good." ?
I know, and understand that if you're feeling like this then you have every right to get it out and I agree that holding in such feelings can be hard + probably not good for you in the long run, but try to remember that RYL is supposed to be a safe place and to see *** or xxx or "that was so good" can possibly be triggering to some people..
I'm not disagreeing with anything you're saying + I do understand and feel the same way you do but, there's hundreds of members on RYL that could be that little more sensitive than you.
I hope you don't think I'm being a bitch or anything. I'm not but it just seems you're taking it a bit far now..
I understand what some people are saying, but I agree with R&V you don't think through what you're saying, that's the whole point of it,, to rant & if you had to stop and rethink and keep checking everything you said just to be careful then it would be pointless right?
-LetMeSign- - It's a R&V forum. It's going to be triggering. People enter knowing that. The trigger labels were removed because that forum is going to be one of the most triggering ones on this site. I don't think Miss, myself or anyone else who has replied & has agreed with this is overreacting either, we are simply expressing our opinions on these new changes. I don't see a problem with it.
I don't think people are as upset about the number change than being upset about the change in how we express ourselves in that forum.
The whole point of that forum is to have freedom of speech, to express yourself without boundaries, & to say how you really feel/what you really think, to be as brutally honest as you like, etc.
Now it's full of restrictions on those very things.
I understand what some people are saying, but I agree with R&V you don't think through what you're saying, that's the whole point of it,, to rant & if you had to stop and rethink and keep checking everything you said just to be careful then it would be pointless right?
A few simple rules shouldn't require rethinking every single time you rant though, surely. People will just pick them up and remember I would of thought.
If you're that worked up that you literally can't think then rather than sit at the PC mashing the keys - going for a walk would probably be a lot more beneficial.
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
But the term "glamourising" is a bit vague, I mean at which point is it counted as "glamourising"?
I've seen posts that have been said that they are glamourising, but I didn't feel that they were, it seems very subjective.
Regardless of the rules/what is and isn't allowed to be posted, I personally think people need to start taking responsibility for their own lives and their own mental health.
And if they're not in a position to, that's not the internet's fault. Just as it's not the internet's responsibility to fix them.
Regardless of the rules/what is and isn't allowed to be posted, I personally think people need to start taking responsibility for their own lives and their own mental health.
And if they're not in a position to, that's not the internet's fault. Just as it's not the internet's responsibility to fix them.
-LetMeSign- - It's a R&V forum. It's going to be triggering. People enter knowing that. The trigger labels were removed because that forum is going to be one of the most triggering ones on this site. I don't think Miss, myself or anyone else who has replied & has agreed with this is overreacting either, we are simply expressing our opinions on these new changes. I don't see a problem with it.
I know it's an R&V forum and I completely get that the posts / threads are going to be triggering and everyone should read at their own risk or whatever but it seems like she's making a big deal out of the mods asking everyone to minimise the amount of *'s, x's and "glamourising quotes" used.. I mean, is it really that much of a deal to put one x instead of 3? Or to not write, "that was a lovely cut."
I'm all for people having a rant + a rave in the forum and going to town with their freedom of speech and like I said before, I can see why she would get annoyed because the R&V forum was, (besides private journals) the last place that someone could literally say what they wanted, and now even the posts in there are being edited left, right and centre. I was just giving my opinion. After all, that is what she wanted, right?
Quote:
I don't think Miss, myself or anyone else who has replied & has agreed with this is overreacting either
I agree with what she's saying, but only to a certain extent so does that mean I'm saying I'm overreacting myself? No. I just meant that she's taking it a little too far now. Like others have said previously, if she's that bothered about writing a load of numbers then she should do so elsewhere.
I don't think she's taking it too far.
& Miss just spoke to me, and has also posted saying
"^ And if I did want to write 38484 I would go on another site, but I simply want to write the word good next to what I have done to myself if that's my feeling about it."
I don't think she is as upset about the numbers than she is about having things removed that are about expressing how she feels with the behaviour(s) she has engaged in.
I don't see how expressing how you feel about what you've done to yourself is seen as glamorising/promoting/encouraging the behaviour. It's to do with yourself, not anyone else.
Okay so, I get that she's annoyed because her posts are being editted and certain bits are being removed because the mods feel she is glamourising / promoting certain negative behaviours, and I would probably be annoyed too if my posts were constantly being watched + editted but at the end of the day, it's down to the mods whether they feel a certain post could be dangerous / triggering towards another member.
I hope I'm not coming across too harsh or anything, and I totally agree that at this rate, the R&V thread will be pointless but, there are rules for a reason. I understand she has an opinion which is cool, everyone is entitled but if she has a concern regarding whether her own posts were editted due to them being glamorous / promoting, then maybe she should take it up with the mods themselves?
Well, that's her choice to do so, but all she's doing here is expressing her opinion with other members & seeing if anyone shares the same view.
I don't see how it could be triggering or glamorising, I've done posts similar, as has my Fiancee, as has many of my friends, and as has many, many, actually, the majority of members here have done so too.
& If it could be triggering for others, then they viewed it with the knowledge of it potentially being triggering. People need to take responsibility for that.
You say there are 'rules for a reason' but does that mean we aren't allowed to question them?
At one point, there were rules stating what jobs people with dark skin could do
We question things we are not sure are working in order to improve the community in which we are in. yes, this is to an lesser extent than race laws, but it's the same principle.
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