Graphic - falling back into that dark place..

[Rough_Diamond]

I'm having a bad time.
I'm tired of being ill (week 9 now). Doctors still don't have a clue.
mentally, I have had enough.
I don't want to try anymore.
Don't want to see anyone, don't want to go to uni or do the work. Don't want to eat or sleep. just want to lie in my bed and smoke.
nobody understands.
too tired of going about like its ok.
They stole my insides again, and I am empty, and I am in the wrong body.
So I hurt myself to see if I could feel it, and I couldn't.
So guess I was right.
I'm not pretty and they are all saying I am.
No wonder he's staying with his ex.
Too young to be this broken.

[talaiporia]

Could you get an appointment with your GP on Monday to discuss this then? Or go to A&E if you're feeling unsafe in the meantime?

Please be careful; stay strong, and keep going. This seems awful right now, but it will get better. I've been where you are now, and I promise you things change; a year down the line and I've completely turned my life around. It's not impossible, even if it seems like it now.

Please try not to hurt yourself any more, particularly if you can't feel it; you're much more likely to go too far.

[XanthiaJo]

Do not fear, you are not alone. I think we all go through phases where we just just feel like a thing, surviving; just acting on movements that need to be done where on the outside we're there, but on the inside it feels like we don't exist. As talaiporia said, it does get better. We learn how our bodies work and we can start to fill ourselves with good things that we believe in.

Keep on fighting and well done for seeking help xx

[Rough_Diamond]

hi guys, didn't really explain myself last night.
I have been ill (physcially) for 9 weeks now. Just constantly dizzy and sick.
And it's really wearing me out. So tired with it.
Then at the same time, I just felt so low last night mentally, and with everything, had a bit of a breakdown.
But I'm feeling stronger mentally today, and I have amazing people in my life, and I know eventually the doctors will fix this and I will feel healthy again.
The mental stuff is not so much an issue as it was, and I am learning to cope with it more and more everyday.
Just occasionally, I have days like yesterday.
Thanks for the support though
claire

[XanthiaJo]

Glad you're feeling better :) Being ill takes it toll on anyone. Keep it up xx