Turning to a life of crime is a choice, albeit a bad one. However, if you are particularly incompetent when it comes to robbing then that choice suddenly becomes a really bad one. It seems for the ten criminals who feature in this article they were more influenced by the pair of robbers from
Home Alone rather than say, Mesrine or the Kray twins! Enjoy.
1. The Bank Was Closed
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Dozy bank robber Christopher Allen Koch was arrested in Liberty, Pennsylvania, USA after he tried to rob a bank that had already closed for the day. The 28-year-old ciminal arrived at Citizens & Northern Bank at 11.40am and sat inside his car in the bank’s parking lot for 20 minutes. No doubt he was trying to psyche himself up for what would become the heist of the century. Koch failed to notice the opening hours though. The bank shut at 12pm; Koch made his move at 12:01pm. Staff inside saw the criminal stood outside the locked entrance doors with a ski mask on and a gun in his hand. They were obviously smarter than him though because they managed to note down his vehicle’s license plate number. Police tracked him down and Koch was charged with criminal attempted robbery and possessing instruments of a crime.
2. The Robber vs The Karate Kids
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The Pan-American karate champion Cristian Garces lives in Manizales, Colombia, along with his instructors and fellow karate peers. Manizales, Colombia is also home to one very stupid burglar who decided that breaking into Garces’ house, whilst the man was inside along with all his karate chums, was a sensible idea. You can pretty much guess the rest…he was “apprehended” until police arrived to arrest him.
3. Play Dead
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If you are ever confronted by a brown bear you should play dead, not if you are being chased by police. It seems no one told this to a burglar who broke into a funeral home in Burjassot, outside Valencia in an effort to evade capture from the cops. Among the open caskets holding the dead it did not take long for the suspect to be found. Firstly, he was the only dead person breathing. Secondly, he was wearing baggy, grungy clothes unlike the suits the rest of the deceased were wearing.
4. Is The Cash Register Full?
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A 40-year-old bank robbing virgin it seems. In 2008 Daniel Glen planned to rob a convenience store in Windsor, Ontario, USA. Planning was his forte, robbing was not. Glen phoned the store in advance to ask how much money was in the cash register. The clerk called the police right after he got off the phone and the cops arrested Glen as he was making his way to the store. Turns out Glen was a suspect for two other similar incidents in which he phoned a store in advance and asked the clerk’s to have the money bagged and ready for his arrival. Genius.
5. Sign Your Name Here
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In Stockport, UK an 18-year-old burglar was arrested for vandalizing a children’s campsite building. The mastermind, known as Peter Addison, and his friend Mark Ridgeway let off fire extinguishers and smashed crockery. How did the police capture this clever little criminal? He scrawled his name across the wall above this poster. Not only did he show his level of IQ by doing this but he also proved his maturity after he also wrote “R GAY” after British Garden Birds on the poster.
6. The Robber vs The 95-year-old Lady in a Wheelchair
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That’s right folks, 46-year-old robber Robert Horsley (pictured) came face-to-face against a 95-year-old woman a wheelchair armed with a screwdriver when he broke into her home in the middle of the night. Making more noise than a bull in a china shop when trying to break in through the front door, as soon as Horsley got his hand through the broken glass to unlock the door the elderly lady stabbed it. By this point Horsley was making even more noise. Alarming the neighbours, who called the police, he was soon arrested and is now in jail facing one count of first-degree burglary.
7. Injured By The Knives He Was Stealing
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A man from Michigan stole $300 worth of hunting knives, which he hid in his pants. As he ran away from the store he tripped, fell and stabbed himself in the stomach by the knives that were tucked away in the waistline of his getaway pants. That is what they call Karma. The suspect was hospitalised after the attempted theft from a Meijer Inc. superstore in the US city of Grand Rapids and is expected to face a misdemeanor shoplifting charge.
8. Driving A Stolen Car To Court
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A 37-year-old man is due in court for an auto theft crime he committed. He shows up on the day, which was nice of him to do so. He showed up, however, in a stolen Lexus SUV. Police in the carpark were suspicious as they watched the hairstylist by day turn up, exit the car and enter the courthouse…leaving some Yorkshire Terriers yapping away in the vehicle. Their suspicions paid off because soon the San Francisco based criminal as charged with receiving a stolen vehicle, receiving stolen property and charges of animal cruelty for leaving the dogs unattended in the vehicle. And what happened in the courthouse? the jury convicted the man of the original auto theft charge. He was charged with possession of a Porsche Carrera, valued at $125,000, that had been stolen from a San Anselmo home.
9. Drinking on the Job is not a Good Idea
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In Dusseldorf, Germany a criminal was proud of himself for having successfully stolen money and jewellery. He decided to treat himself to some stolen champagne in the comfort of his getaway car. He got so drunk though that he fell asleep. Concerned passers-by thought the poor man had passed out and was trapped in his vehicle so called the emergency services. When the police turned up, they checked his ID and discovered he’d been a naughty 37-year-old boy and was wanted for a string of robberies. As well as the robberies, he was also charged with drink-driving.
10. The Robber vs The Sword-Wielding Olympic Fencing Ace
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In Budapest, Hungary a burglar came face-to-face with a sword-wielding Virgine Ujlaky (pictured) who happened to be practicing near the house he was burgling. Pal Nagy had climbed a fence and was attempting to climb in through a back window when Ujlaky confronted him. She pinned the burglar to the wall with the point of her sword pointed at his neck and calmly called the police. When the police came to collect the man, he was in such a state of shock that he had to be treated by paramedics!
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