I got these from: http://www.scribd.com/doc/19984/Amusing-Questions
These questions are fun and they make you think. Answer what you think :)
Questions:
1.Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?
With soap, Shampoo is for hair, Soap is for skin!
2.Why are the obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?
Because the spirits continue living ?
3.How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
Cause money is really dirty.
4.When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'.
Sure why not?
5.Are one handed people offended when police tell them to put their hands up?
Depends if they get into trouble. I am not obliged to answer that as I have 2 hands.
6.How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time?
Its a balance of sugar and sourish stuff :)
7.Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Sure why not!
8.If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
SANTA!
9.Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
Ermmmmmm. I don't get it.
10.If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
$20
11.If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
Turtles at them!
12.If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
They stepped in poop!
13.What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
It goes to mush and paints a piano.
14.What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
To super hell.
15.Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
ZOMBIES!
16.When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Nope. Cause they are too PO they wont write anything!
17.If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan?
Technically yes. Stated at the start it was said 'If your plan' That implies there was a plan !
18.If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he
become disoriented?
Depends. :)
19.If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
20.Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
Ha, her uhm! LOL!
21.Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
No comment.
22.If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
BAHAHAHAHA YES!
23.If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Cause it is!
24.When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in ... what happens to the other penny?
It goes to all the hungry children!
25.Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'broker'?
Cause he is broke. Face it. He steals your money !
26.Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to
begin with?
Too true man!
27.When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
POPCORN!
28.Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Because the word racist is already used in the context of discrimination of people due to their race.
29.Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
No freaking idea!
30.Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Cause it is all strange!
31.Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
Cause it is pronounced eleven!
32."I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it
be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
Yep, When you say I do at a sentence it is forever.
33.If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
I honestly never read that all. I couldn't be screwed.
34.If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
WHAAAAAA?
35.Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
Yes. Coffee is yum. So is tea. But they are weird.
36.What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Invisible.
37.I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . .they're cramming for their final exam.
Offensive much. I read the bible at the age of 14.
39.Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the
postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
That is smart. You try that !!!
40.If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?
To live life an go through experiences that they will be able to help us through!
41.How come no one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning?
Because it is just a phrase to make the loosing team feel ok.
42.If we quit voting will they all go away?
Makes no sense!
43.A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk I have a work station...
Where work eventually stops?
44.How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
Because I have no idea.
45.If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Santa did mate. Santa did.
46.Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an
emergency. I think you should write . . . A Good Doctor.
I think I should :)
