do you have a supportive boyfriend??

firefly · 05-09-2007, 03:32 AM

over the weekend my boyfriend made me promise him that i would get better and work really hard until i do, but i cant do it, i thought i could then but he was only visiting and now hes gone and i cant do it without him by my side...i was wondering if anyone else has a supportive boyfriend that helps them through this and is it hard for you if you have let them down and all of that....thanks

Lil'MissLaLa · 05-09-2007, 07:47 AM

*hugs* i have a very supportive bf and it is very hard for him especially atm. it kills me to see what im doing to him and u'd think tht would be enough to make me 'snap out of it' - i wish it was that easy. He tries to understand as much as he can, hes been there from the start with my si etc and now my ed and he still refuses to give up on me. He does seek support from other people wen he needs to, which is good.
i dnt really no wat else to say sweetie, except be honest with him and let him help you.
much love and hugs
Dani
xx

plastic rose · 05-09-2007, 09:11 AM

I think that it's great that you boyfriend is supportive and wants you to get better but I think that a) wanting to get better for somebody else most of the time does not work, and b) you need a lot more help than just your bf if you do properly want to recover. You need to want to get better for yourself, and you need to have a good therapist and nutritionist working with you too.

surprising mystery · 05-09-2007, 11:47 AM

I dont have a bf right now but my ex was fairly supportive, especially when I was in hospital. Let him in, he wants to help, and it may make your relationship stronger. x

Harmless_Baby · 05-09-2007, 12:54 PM

Sound's like you've got a great boyfriend! You wanna keep hold of him!
My boyfriend isn't even aware of my eating disorder. But then I guess, he wouldn't.. as he's hardly ever around to see me -x-
How screwed up is that!
My Parent's know I've got a problem... I don't live with them though..
And there only support is by text every so often to say ''hope your eating ok, luvs u. Mum x''

would you call that support? - ''hope your eating ok,'' - well duh! I suffer with bulimia, how can I be eating ok?

Do you reckon Im being to harsh?

abigalelynette · 05-09-2007, 12:59 PM

my boyfriend is totally unsupportive, he says im weak, and that he likes a strong woman.
In which he wants nothing more to do with it, doesnt really help, he was supportive the first time around but now he just doesnt care.

abigalelynette · 05-09-2007, 01:03 PM

harmless_baby when i was suffering with bulimia i found the only way to stop me doing it was eating all my meals around people who i knew and i wasnt allowed to be on my own until an hour afterwards and if i needed the toilet that person would stand outside, i mean obviously your food starts digesting after a certain amount of time so its harder to throw up, prehaps ask your mum or friends if you need help with this? and also dont try to eat big meals,
my boyfriends just the same as your mum i'll say i have a headache and he'll say have you eaten anything today and i'll lie and say yes and he will say good girl and that'll be the end of it. some people just dont understand, and in this give you too much freedom to be how you want to be, but the idea of sorting it is to cut off all of your options.

hope this helped :)

Jayne. · 05-09-2007, 01:11 PM

I don't have a boyfriend at the moment, but I used to have a hugely
supportive boyfriend. He didn't care about any of my issues (other
than the way they affect me) or force me to eat or make me stop
self harming, he was just there for me.

You should explain to him how much you are trying but let him know
how difficult it is for you. *hugs*

xxx

Psiren · 05-09-2007, 05:40 PM

I think it's great that your boyfriend is so supportive.
I haven't got a boyfriend, but someone supportive like that would be so helpful.
Don't feel like you've let him down, as long as you're trying that's the most important thing and if you explain that to him I'm sure he'll understand as he is supportive.
Take care of yourself <3

preciousandfragile · 05-09-2007, 08:55 PM

yes, mine is very supportive..not only becuz he loves me, but becuz he has been there..he is older than me...so he has already been thru a lot of the things that i am going thru..he did si and such...no ed..but he understands where i am coming from...and the best part is that he doesnt look at me with disgust or look at me like he is trying to "fix" me...he sees me perfect the way i am...he doesnt want me to do these things to myself, and he wants to do whatever he can to help me, but he does understand my point of view......he sees me for the monster that i know that i am, and yet he loves me for it....all i can say is that if ur bf does truly love you then he will stick out for you...i am afraid of hurting mine, but i know he understands...by me sharing my struggle with him it has made it easier for me to bear and it has shown me that he does love me...all i can say is to be honest, and if u are truly trying hard, then if u slip up, it wont hurt him....just do what u need to do and be honest....losts of love,
ali

S.n.o.w · 05-09-2007, 08:58 PM

i'd like to think i am that supportive boyfriend.

after all i joined up to help support my Girlfriend and deal with her problems.

Accidentally Abstract · 06-09-2007, 12:27 AM

^ Sounds like you are to me!

I have a supportive GIRLFRIEND.
She's lovely, as you all know.
& when it comes to food (not that I generally have an issue with eating) & weight, etc, she's awesome. She'll just ask me what I want her to do, and then adhere to it.. <3
x

Samz · 06-09-2007, 12:39 AM

I don't have a boyfriend at the moment but my ex used to do the "Why don't you just eat something?" thing. I hate it when people do that, but other than that he was pretty supportive. =]