Im trying so hard but the little things get me down

Karmic_Rainbow · 23-10-2010, 12:58 PM

I havent SHed in 2 and a half/3 months (I dont like ticking off the days - I find it makes it harder) but recently, especially today, Im finding that the little tiny things that go wrong are pushing me more than I can deal with.
Normally a negative comment irritates me, and can put a downer on my day, but never before has it affected me so much that I think im worthless, and feel the need to SH. Several negative comments in a short space of time or over day has done this before, but never one tiny comment when i wake up, when im having a good day.

Basically its just getting really hard. And the things I normally do to destract myself, I just really dont want to do. I cant even motivate myself to do things that I enjoy when im like this. So I just sit, crying.

I dont know what I expect to gain from posting this, but I guess just the fact of posting it in itself has helped me a little. Thanks for your time :)

crazykat · 23-10-2010, 01:09 PM

I am glad posting it has helped you a little. Have you ever tried journaling? I find writing down all the negative stuff can really help get rid of it all out of my head. Also remind yourself of how far you have come, you can fight this

PassedExpectations · 23-10-2010, 02:18 PM

the journalling is a good idea, or if you don't like journals so much, you can write letters to people and then not send them, but that can get emotions out too. could you try going to the big distraction list (i'd give the url, but i don't know how to do that....) and pick out something new to try that seems like it might pick you up a bit.

you aren't worthless at all. you're incredibly valuble. honest.

crazykat · 23-10-2010, 02:28 PM

Here is the link to the big distraction page that PastExpiration was talking about

Karmic_Rainbow · 23-10-2010, 09:18 PM

thank you both, crazykat and pastexpiration. i used to keep a journal last time things got really bad, but i got out of the way of it. I got an empty book this morning and ive started again. I hope this helps. Also ive never tried the letter thing, and i think i should at somepoint.
thank you. :)

Garnious · 23-10-2010, 10:39 PM

I used to keep a journal as well and found it to be greatly helpful. As the others have said keep reminding yourself how far you've come.

I hope everything's ok.

nowhereman · 25-10-2010, 09:16 AM

I hope the journalling will help, it helps me too. You've done so well not to si in nearly 3 months, I hope you'll be able to keep it up.