How do you get through the patronising nature of medical professionals?
Okay, first up I am not saying that all medical professionals are patronising but there are a good number and I am sure that others have experienced this that judge and look down and say awful comments about self-inflicted injuries.
My life is pretty overwhelming and crappy at the moment - and as a result I have a burn on my back and while it wasn't self inflicted it could have easily been and so I decided to say it was when seeking medical attention this afternoon. The nurse honestly spoke to me for thirty seconds I didn't even sit down, she just ripped my shirt up and said that well "that's the consequence when you burn yourself, there is nothing I can do". i don't need to be patronised anymore than i already am, it took every ounce of my being to walk into that office and ask to be seen.
I never went for medical attention when I was cutting regardless of how bad it was because I was so worried about the judgement and criticism that will ensue.
I guess I really needed to vent about how unheard I feel simply because it was "self inflicted". How do others navigate the medical world when seeking first aid treatment? I know that my back is not okay, but am pretty discouraged about seeking treatment again. Any thoughts are welcome, thanks for reading.
life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself.
Firstly well done for going to get the injury seen. As difficult as it is I would still encourage you to seek the medical help that you need for your injuries.
Believe me the proffessionals can be a lot more unproffesional/judgemental if you go in weeks after said injury because its infected or whatever.
I personally have see equal amounts of good and bad drs and nurses. The good I try to remember and the bad I try to forget or get to know the rota so that I can go when they arent around! :P
The way I deal with bad experiences in honesty is to cry/rant and vent after leaving their care. Whilst still under their care I switch on 'proffessional lillie' mode where I loose all the emotion and stick rigidly to the facts, avoid eye contact and tell myself they are not worth crying in front of. Being fairly knowledgeable about the injury I go there for and managing to tread the line between polite but acidic enough for them to know Im not happy helps a lot also. PLus I tend to view them as uneducated idiots which just helps. And I have been known to make formal complaints if the person has overstepped the boundaries of what I can cope with.
Sorry about the essay/ spelling mistakes and I hope that there was some useful information in there somewhere.
i shut down... tell them what they need to know and thats it. i'm pretty sure this is not the best or most effective method to get help or get them to act better though.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
I'm sorry you have had a bad experience, I havent had to go to hospital before but I understand how hard it is to even talk to someone or tell them about self injury if it is a professional you are hoping for help from.
I've had a couple of bad experiences with docotrs not seeming to be too interested or not taking self harm seriously.
The good thing is that you actually went to see a nurse and are able to get things checked out if they need to be, the only thing I can say is try not to let that stop you from doing it seaking help again, just try to ignore the bad things and not let yourself get upset over someone who is not worth it. It is probably because she doesnt understand about self injury or know how much saying things like that would hurt. Alot of medical people aren't always professional and caring, but there are some good ones, i suppose it is because if it is what they do for a living every single day they cant get too involved or get upset over the things they always have to see or they may be in a hurry because of having lots of people to say.
You shouldnt let that make you feel bad though and you have a right to be treated if you need it and if someone is acting very unprofessionally you could always complain
I've seen some really supportive doctors/nurses (even if they are annoying for continuously questioning me and wanting me to see a professional, but it's still helpful of them) but sometimes they can really suck. If they make you uncomfortable or are treating you differently then you can complain about them or request another doctor/nurse. You have to be allowed the same medical treatment and whatever as everyone else. Self-inflicted or not, that doesnt matter. Doctors are meant to treat you, not judge you, and if they do, you shouldnt have to just sit there and feel bad about it. If your burn needs more treatment, go back, and if someone is patronizing, just ask for someone else or tell them straight-up that you dont deserve to be made to feel uncomfortable seeking medical attention just because of their attitude and personal opinions.
I have seen some god forsaken awful doctors who have called me all kinds of horrible things and a few times i have even been denied treatment from a particular vicious one. I have also been sticthed once without numbing because i was a "childish, stupid attention seeker", lol.
Some doctors are really horrible. I don't mean to sound like a hypocrite but i do understand why some of them lost patience with me..... Sometimes they've had a long shift and they have seen all kinds of horrible things and when someone like me waltzed in they just lost the plot.
It's hard to deal with though because you're already feeling so sad and scared. If i could go back i think i would have liked to tell them that it wasn't fair to call me those things, it didn't help whatsoever and they just added fuel to the fire.
I'm not saying they should be happy to treat us but a little empathy might just help someone from cutting so bad again.....
Well in general I tell them the FACTS that they need to know, followed by what action I require to be taken, if they try to treat me in an adverse manner I treat them with the contempt they deserve, however in general I've always found normal A&E Doctors, & Ward Nurses the most helpful, Sympathetic & Sensible rather than the PLN's/CPN's who are supposed to be trained in Mental Health.
I've only had this once, when a doctor told me self harm was nonsence and asked what was this nonsence I was doing to myself. If I hadn't been so down and in shock I'd have told her it was a coping method which kept me alive-if I hadn't been doing that I'd have done much worse. She did put me in hospital though so at least she took it seriously but I didn;t appreciate being told it was just nonsence.
if i go for medical help i tell them what they need to know to treat me and i take my friend with me who curtly answers them back for me because im usually quite dazed and dissociative after self harming. without my friend i would be walked over in a&e.
on my own, i wait till im treated (so it gets done) then i come out with some smart comment (well i've had all the treatment time to think of something pretty good) still better with my friend there though!
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Can i ask why you said it was self inflicted when it wasn't?
I normally try and do the opposite, say it was an accident when its clear it wasn't, just to try and avoid all the negative comments
