Hey all, I havent been on here for a long time, about a year now I think.
The last time i was on here regularly I was trying to quit, then I sort of gave up on that, and i am still struggling now.
My boyfriend recently broke up with me, well sort of, he said we can try again once we get ourselves sorted out a bit and stop the things that are causing problems, and that I need to get counselling. So i have been self harming a lot lately.
My mum came into my room this morning to ask me something. Later she sent me a text from work saying she saw the cuts on my leg and is worried and wants to know why I am doing it.
I dont know what to do and I am panicing, I guess that my mum might have noticed before as i have had some noticeble marks before or things that may have been seen, but she has never said anything before and I have never told her.
I dont know what I am meant to say to her later. I find it really hard to talk to her about things, because I dont want to upset her and I find it hard to open up, I couldnt even tell her about the problems with my boyfriend.
I know she is worried and wants to help, and that scares me more because I dont want her to have to worry about me....and how do I tell my mum that I hate myself and that I am unhappy, or that i have felt like killing myself.
Everything has been really hard lately, and I am sturggling with everything. I need to make an appointment at the doctors and get help, so maybe it will be a good thing for that.
I just dont know what to say and I am scared
I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't know what would I do if my mom would find out.. So I don't really have any advice, but if you wanna talk PM me anytime :)
First, try not to panic because you need to have a clear head in order to work your problems out.
Im so sorry that you have split up with your boyfriend and it must be tough having ''conditions'' in a way that you would have to fulfil in order to have him back. Thats not a fair thing to do.
Aside from what I've just said, I don't understand your fear. Is it how you think your mum will behave towards you or do you feel alone without your boyfriend and you're scared that your mum might shun you too?
My box is always open *hugs*
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Hey hun, i remember you from when you were on here a lot before. i'm sorry that things have been really hard lately. Have you been seeing anyone about this? Like a counsellor or your doctor? Or can you talk to any of your friends about this stuff? It could be really helpful. We're all here to support you. How did things go with your Mum? Hopefully talking to her could help you to get more support? i know how hard it is but it helped me when my Mum found out. Hugs if you want them x.
I agree with others about being honest with your mom and try not to get panic..Why don't you go for a walk to clear on your head while you're ready to talk to your mom..
Hey,
I have been in a simialr situation before. From what you ahve written, it seems like your mum is generally concerned about you. I suggest you talk to her, and tell her about whatever you feel comfortable with talking about. Do talk about your self-harming and how you are feeling, if in any way possible.
What helped me was to write down the things I wanted to say, imagined myself saying them, and practice the conversation in my head. For me, I couldn't even imagine myself saying how I felt to my parents, and thinking about it helped to bring them "out", if that makes sense.
Also, I think that if your mum has seen your legs, she will be even more worried if she doesn't know what exactly is going on. She might be scared that you plan to kill yourself soon, or something.
So talking to her will definetly be better if you don't want to worry her.
I'm sorry i havent replied sooner :( I have been feeling so distraced and worried about everything that i forgot to come back and check.
I havent actually talked to my mum about it yet. When she came home my younger sister was arround too, so there wasnt really a right time to talk, I was too scared to say anything and i guess she is too scared to approach it herself. I feel bad, because i know like what some of you said she will be worried, or might think it is worse than it is, but I really dont know how to bring it up again. Its not that I am scared she will be angry or react badly, I dont think that will happen, its that I am just scared about opening up, I'm very shy so find it hard to talk to most people, and I dont want to upset her.
Things have been hard lately, the "condition" that will make things work again with my boyfriend is that i get help to sort out some of my problems, so I will be getting counselling soon. I find it very hard to trust anyone anymore and that is affecting my relationships. So in a way I understand why it might take a while for things to get sorted out again and that I have to work on things so that I am not unhappy and destroying everything, but at the same time I do feel a bit angry and hurt that I have to wait until it is meant to be ok, and I am also worried that it wont work out at all.
Thanks for the support, I am feeling a little better now, and I havent hurt myself again since. I know i need to try and talk to my mum at some point...maybe i should try writing it down in a letter?
NicolaRose, What a great idea to write a letter to your mom if you have a time.
I know you would be scared to tell her about it but she might be worried about you. Maybe, your younger sister might be going to a friend's house so you and your mother can have a time for both of you in the house while your younger sister gone for the day or night if it is right time to talk..She loves you Nicola and she really wants to help you..Her reaction should be normal but she might be angry or scared of what will happened to you..If you are really honest with your mom about it and don't try to lash out on her..
Good luck! and just let us know when you gets back sooner or later on..
I have been alone with my mum a couple of times over the past few days but ive been too nervous to mention anything. I will try the letter, and my sister should be out over the weekend so that might help.
I'm not planing on lashing out or being angry, its more just the worry of having to try and explain things and I feel a bit uncomfortable talking about it
