Contains Suicide - really struggling

swirlyblue · 12-10-2010, 01:04 AM

hi, this is really difficult for me to write but i wanted to get it off my chest.

i overdosed last night. i won't go into too many details but I had obtained some class A drugs and took enough to finish me twice over. i don't how i woke up this morning.

i know i can't continue like this. my SH has been really bad these past few weeks and i feel like i'm pretty much circling the drain right now. no-one suspects that there is anything wrong with me. i've been so afraid of admitting failiure that I now find it impossible to ask for help.
it's all such a mess.

i know step one to getting better is to make an appointment with my GP but I seem incapable of making such a basic step.
thanks for reading.

lizliz · 12-10-2010, 06:04 AM

I know it's hard, but you have to get help. This is serious. I know asking for help can seem impossible; seem so difficult. But, it'll keep you alive. Go to the hospital. Get checked out. Get help for the self harm and suicide attempt. Doctors are there to help keep you safe. Don't look at it as failure..look at it as a means of survival.

Margo · 13-10-2010, 03:35 PM

There is no failure in replaps my dear! The only failure is failing to aknowledge and act upon it. Dont fail yourself.

You know what to do. I hope you get the help you need.

The comedown from those drugs will be hitting in soon id imagine. I hope the depression doesnt sink too deep

Take care

Mathew

swirlyblue · 14-10-2010, 02:51 AM

thanks guys. i'm feeling much better today, i don't know what caused me to sink to such depths over the weekend. i seem commited to destroying myself at times.
the good news is that i made an appointment to see the doctors today. the tough thing will be opening up. hopefully they can help keep me on the straight and narrow a bit more often :)