to much to deal with

freefall · 30-09-2010, 11:32 PM

hey im new here , sorry if thread isnt that well explained

im really struggling at the momment,been battling this for so long
basically i go through stages of b,ping and starvation and am addited to diet pills.....and havegot a worker
and have been to lots of ed support things but nothink has worked for me , i am underweight but i choose to ignore i just cant face it
im running out off idears and the longer it takes to get to my goal of weight loss im very suicidal which is bad but i see no other way out
sorry i dont know what im aspecting from this thread or repley
just its getting to hard to deal with ........................

*could trigger*

Buttercup. · 01-10-2010, 02:05 AM

Hi,

First of all, welcome to the ED board! You will definitely realize that there are many people in the "same boat" as you here.

I'm really sorry to hear that you are struggling so much. Is there something going on in your life that has caused this increase in struggle?

If you don't feel the treatment you are in is working, you might want to discuss with your team that you feel it's not helping. That way they may be able to come up with different ways to try to help you. There are many different approaches to treatment, and the one you are using now may just not work for you. But don't lose hope, there are many different methods they can use to help you. You can beat this.

Hang in there.

Jess x

freefall · 01-10-2010, 03:57 PM

first of all thank you for your repley
yes i can see their are lots people in the same boat which is a shame....
i know their are different methods im not sure why im struggling more
im very unstable i have mental health problems
have a ed and si
ive tryed counsilling 2x
ed service a few times
been to my gp crap loadz of times
and have been suggested to go to a unit voulteer but i couldnt do that ive seen how meal plan works and i wouldnt keep it up and they kick u out if you dont try as well as they want you to
and i dont wanna get section but losing weight is my passion i know it sounds weird but it is
friend dont really know much bout my problems i dont have many to behonest and family abonded me long long long time ago and my over half and his family just dont understand i know its not their fault but its frustrating

Cryptic. · 01-10-2010, 04:28 PM

Well, the fact you've posted here means you are no longer ignoring this being a problem, which is a step in the right direction.

I'm aware you've been to services more than once, but, to be honest, not many "click" with it first time round. It may take months, years even to find someone who you can "click" with & work with. I've been seeing people since I was 7 & I still haven't found anyone I "click" with, it's about trial & error I'm afraid.

Can you not tell your worker all of this you've posted here?
You do need help.

Losing weight may be your passion, but it may also in the end, be your cause of death. I doubt you want that.

Why do you feel you want to lose weight? What's so good about losing weight? What about eating, why do you b/p & abuse diet pills? Why do you starve yourself? Delve deep into this, you need to find out why & what's behind these behaviors.

You need to think logically about this, this won't be able to carry on this way, it has to end soon, & you need to choose how, either you die from this, or you fight back & beat it, these are, in the end, your two choices.

This will kill you if you carry on.

You need to find the strength in you to fight back.

freefall · 02-10-2010, 08:42 AM

thank you for replying i totally understand what u mean with finding someone to click with , its nice to know their are other people facing this to soo im not alone in this in away.............

yes i think i will let my team worker or show him what i have written on this thread thank u for the suggestion most helpful xxxx

well 1. of the reason i do what i do my behaviours whith food
it's been like it for quiet awhile so its like a daily routine to starve or b,ping i know its not good but if i dont i feel sick physically and mentally .............

somedays i feel people lie ,they go h ur thinnner im like why would u lie to me why do u offer me food dont be so insensertive are you trying to get me fat.............and i dont care if i die from this =(

but then somedays i wish i could get better im sick of fighting everyone, but some days i just physically and mentaly have no engery i suffer getting depressd alot so i have no motiivation

i struggle with daily day to day thing's

thank u for ur replay snd sorry i ranted on abit xxxx

Buttercup. · 03-10-2010, 05:25 AM

I don't have any advice right now, but I do want you to know that I am thinking of you and hoping for the best. ED is definitely a living hell and I'm so sorry that you are feeling so trapped by it. Posting here was a first great step. Now keep making those baby steps toward positive and recovery related goals.

*hugs*

You WILL get through this. And you WILL find a new 'passion,' find a new hobby. Make recovery and freedom your passion! You say that losing weight is your passion...but in your case, it's more like saying "self-destruction is my passion." Remember, you have an illness, your ED is not a hobby or a lifestyle. It's a dirty illness. That you WILL beat.

Jess x