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Didn't think I'd be back here.
Well, as per usual, I messed up again. I've been struggling with an ED and now I've gone back down the path of SI.
I had been doing really well for a while. Most of the year even.
Things have been piling up for a while and I guess this is the result.
I've tried to talk to my friends about how I feel, but no one wants to listen. But, when they're feeling down, I put everything aside, to listen. To help. Why don't they do the same for me?
I'd like to say I'm here because I'm enthusiastic about getting better, but I've been down this road so many times, I just feel numb I guess. I feel stupid for even being this way. I feel alone. And I feel like nobody cares.
When my friends ask 'how are you' and i say 'i've been better' i want them to ask what's bothering me. Like I do for them. And I don't want to tell them to do it. Isn't that what friends are supposed to do?
I'm starting to think I'm just a lost cause.
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