Again on edge. Your so good at writing cliff-hangers. Can't wait to see what is happy next. If you love to write and helps distract you then write. There will always be someone to read it, even if it just over the internet, there will also be someone. More Please!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
when i fall, no one catch me alone lonely, i'll overdose slowly
get scared, i'll scream and shout
but you know it wont matter she'll be passing out
If there is anyone at all who hasn't given up on this, I am sorry! Thank you for keeping with it.
A small crowd of midnight walkers and late night workers only just returning home had gathered outside The Vic to watch the show. Many were locals and were horrified by what they were seeing, turning around to ask each other if anyone was inside, or if they knew how the fire had started. It wasn't until the crowd clocked the look on Roxy and Peggy's faces did they realise how serious this was. The word soon spread that Ronnie was trapped inside and Jack had gone into get her, only then did someone think to call the ambulance and fire brigade, causing Roxy to hate herself even more for not even thinking of that.
Roxy and Claire could do nothing but stare at The Vic. Neither had ever felt so helpless. They were both just standing and watching as a building burnt down with someone they both cared about inside. Roxy had stopped crying, her tears had ran dry. All she could do was wait and prey that Jack would get to her sister in time. This is what you wished for, said a voice in her head, remember the last thing you said? 'As far as I'm concerned, you're dead. I wish you were.' Roxy felt a huge wave of guilt and despair wash over her as she realised those may have been her last ever words to Ronnie.
Guilt also burned inside Claire, she knew something was going to happen. She had the feeling, she could have done something. If only she had told someone what had happened to Ronnie as soon as Ronnie told her, or encouraged her to tell someone herself, then maybe this wouldn't have happened. In fact, there was no maybe about it. None of this would have happened if she hadn't been so stupid and naïve to ignore her gut feelings. She thought she was just overreacting, being paranoid. She had told herself that nothing was going to happen, and to stop worrying and get back to running the shop. For the second time in her life she had failed to save a friend in need, although all the warning signs were there.
A woman came running over to where Claire and Roxy stood. She looked up and the raging fire and began to shout. "Not my pub!" Roxy caught sight of Peggy and heard her shout. She turned to her Aunt, anger flashed through her eyes.
"Is that really all you care about?" she shouted. A look of confusion passed over Peggy's face.
"What do you mean?" she asked, her eyes pleading with Roxy to tell her that everyone was safe.
"Ronnie's in there!" shrieked Roxy. "Jack's gone in to find her, but of course you wouldn't care about that would you? All you care about is your pub!" Peggy gasped, her eyes filled with tears.
"No! She can't be, she's with Jack, she has been all day!" She said, not wanting to believe what Roxy was telling her.
"Well evidently not! Jack was running across the square shouting that he had to see Ronnie. They must have had an argument or something and she came back here." The tears escaped Peggy's eyes and spilled down her cheeks.
"I didn't know, I thought it was empty, I though..." he voice trailed away and Roxy continued to look at her in disgust.
"You didn't bother to ask either," she spat, then turned away from her Aunt and back to the pub, preying that both Jack and her sister would be OK.
Roxy didn't really blame Peggy. She knew that as far as Peggy was aware, the pub was empty that day. The only person there in the morning had been Ronnie, who had since left and as far as anyone knew, stayed out all day. Why couldn't she stay out all night too? Why did her and Jack have to pick today to have a row? Roxy realised that it wouldn't have made a difference, it was Tony who had done this. He would have just waited until she was alone in the pub to strike, or thought of some other way. Roxy wondered where Tony had gone. He had been behind her when she bumped into Jack and the pair of them had gone running to the pub. I hope he's gone all the way to hell, thought Roxy, hoping that once again, her wish would come true.
Ronnie watched her daughter's eyes light up as she touched Ronnie's stomach. She seemed genuinely happy that Ronnie was going to have another baby. Ronnie couldn't help but feel a wave of grief as she watched Danielle. She had just found her baby, she couldn't lose her again, not for the third time. Danielle's eye locked with Ronnie's and she seemed to understand. "I know," she breathed, "but you have to. It was my time, but it's not yours. There are people who need you. People you can't leave. There is nothing I want more than for you to stay here with me. I want that so much. I want us the have the chance here that we never had before."
That was it. If her daughter wanted her to stay, Ronnie was going no where. She was going to stay here whatever the cost. Jack, Roxy and the others would get over it in time. They would move on with their live, but Ronnie couldn't. Not without Danielle. "The I'm staying." Ronnie voiced her thoughts. "I'm not leaving you again. I'm not letting anyone else take you away." Danielle smiled sadly.
"No you're not," she said, softly. "You're going to go back and be a mother to this child."
"But what if I want to be a mother to you?" chocked out Ronnie. She was crying by this point. Something she thought she could no longer do. But the numbness wasn't a part of this world. How could she go back to that world of pain and emptiness, a world without her daughter now she had had a glimpse of how it could be.
Suddenly, Ronnie felt something move inside her. She was only a few weeks gone, the baby couldn't be kicking already. Ronnie stared down at her stomach in awe. "That's them telling you why you have to go back," said Danielle, smiling for real this time. Ronnie couldn't help smiling back, just the sight of her daughter happy sent a warm glow through her, something that she hadn't felt in so long, she had forgotten what it was like.
Danielle's outline was growing fainter, as if she was fading away. Danielle seemed to notice this too and looked at Ronnie, meaningfully. "I love you, mum," she said, her voice breaking with emotion. Ronnie stepped forwards and embraced her daughter.
"I love you too, you're my baby," she sobbed, "my Amy." Ronnie could feel Danielle starting to disappear beneath her hold. Her hair was growing softer under Ronnie's fingers, her body less solid. All Ronnie could do was hold her daughter until the very last second when she could no longer feel her, not even in her heart. She held on until the vast white had faded away and she fell back into the icy blackness.
Jack finally reached the top of the stairs, and fought to see through the flames. He could see what should be the door to Ronnie's room, but it was completely alight. Flames covered every inch of the wood, he couldn't see anything past it. Raising the extinguisher, Jack began to spray blindly until there was a gap in the fire large enough for him to dart through into Ronnie's bedroom.
Jack could see nothing through the haze of smoke that covered the room. He screamed Ronnie's name, listening out for her reply. After a few moments, he still heard nothing and began to search frantically around the room, calling her name as he looked. Then, through the wall of smoke and fire he saw a figure lying just a few feet away. "Ronnie!" she screamed, begging a reaction from her, he tried desperately to reach her, but the flames were too thick, impossible to pass through.
Desperate, Jack used the last of what was left in the fire extinguisher. He felt his heart sink when he heard the squeaking that indicated that it was empty. How was he going to get Ronnie out now? Jack chased away this thought quickly, his only current mission being getting to Ronnie. Jack staggered forwards and finally dropped to his knees beside her.
Ronnie was lying on her side, her hand curled into the carpet beside her. Her face was grey with ash; her eyes were closed and she was unmoving. "Ron," muttered Jack, as he swept a strand of hair from her face. "Can you hear me?" As Jack expected, she made no reply, nor did she move at all. He put his hand on her shoulder and shook her gently. "Ronnie," he said, more loudly. Still she didn't give any inclining that she could hear his at all.
Jack knew he had to get her out of there as quickly as possible. Carefully, he looped her arm around his neck, then slid his own arms under her knees and back and lifted her easily off the floor. It was a comfort to Jack just feeling her weight in his arms, he could feel her heart beating against him; the only thing which proved she was alive.
Jack had no idea how he managed to escape the burning hot monster that was trying to consume them both. Only thoughts of Ronnie passed though his mind as he walked blindly around the flames, hoping with all his might that Ronnie would be alive when he got her out, and that she would stay alive with him until they were both too old and crippled to do anything for themselves.
Finally, Jack felt sharp air of the outside world. The contrast to the burning heat inside the pub was so intense, it almost hurt. Jack stumbled out onto the street as Roxy, Peggy and some unknown woman all rushed forwards. Roxy was sobbing again and yelling her sister's name. Peggy was also crying, but more quietly than Roxy. Claire simply stared at Ronnie's still, limp form, he mouth forming an 'o' shape.
Gently, Jack lowered Ronnie down to the floor, but continued to hold her in his arms, stroking her hair and calling her name, but to no avail. Jack didn't even realise he was crying until droplets of water dripped onto Ronnie's face, making clear tracks amongst the blackened soot stains.
Thanks those who commented, but as I've said before, I don't like this very much. I've written better. This is one of my first pieces.
Ronnie could hear sounds, voices. They were calling from somewhere in the distance, somewhere she couldn't reach. The voices were calling to her, they sounded desperate and broken. Ronnie tried to respond to the voices, to comfort them, but she couldn't find her own. She was lost, somewhere far away. It was becoming harder and harder to breathe. A force was pulling her back under the surface, back into nothing. She tried to reach out from the corner of the darkness, searching for something to cling onto, but she found nothing and felt herself slowly fading.
Roxy knelt beside her sister, crying uncontrollably. She tucked her hand into Ronnie's and bent her head so her hair swung round her face, hiding it from view. "I'm so sorry Ron," sobbed Roxy. "I know what he did. I didn't mean it. Please hold on, I love you." Roxy noticed that Ronnie's breathing became more shallow. Panicking, she squeezed her sister's hand and begged her to stay, to not give up. "Where's the ambulance?" She cried, "it should be here by now, she's getting worse!"
Jack wanted to reassure Roxy, to tell her everything would be OK, that Ronnie would be just fine, but he couldn't. He wanted to believe it so much, but as Ronnie lay lifeless in his arms, her condition growing worse by the second, it was so hard to believe everything would be fine. Jack's thoughts suddenly turned to their unborn child, what would all this mean for them? If being in that fire had done this much damage to Ronnie, what would it do to a partly developed foetus? Then he remembered that it might not be 'their' child. There was every chance it was Tony's; but Jack knew that it wouldn't matter to Ronnie. Of course, it would be amazing for both of them if it was Jack's, but Jack knew Ronnie well enough to know that she would keep it, whose ever it was. It was hers, and to Ronnie, Jack knew that would be all that mattered.
Claire stood above Ronnie, she didn't know what to do. She didn't feel as if she belonged, crouched at Ronnie's side with Jack and Ronnie's family. Her sister, who was still crying an holding Ronnie's hand. Her Aunt, the landlady of the pub, who was muttering something inaudible to her niece, also crying. The there was Jack, he wasn't talking to Ronnie, but every now and then he gave her a shake to try and wake her up, and he constantly stroked her hair.
Looking at them, Claire felt like an intruder, her mind was filled with fear for her friend, but she wasn't as close to Ronnie as the others where.
That night when Ronnie had walked into her shop, Claire had seen Alice in her eyes. She had seen the same thing that she had seen in her best friend in the weeks leading up to Alice's attempted suicide. Only then, she had missed the signs, she had failed to see her friend's pain and suffering. As soon as Claire saw Ronnie, she was determined she wasn't going to make the same mistake twice, this time she was going to do it right. It her own way, she had showed Ronnie she card, and Claire knew, from experience, that sometimes the kindness of a stranger, or just one individual who you didn't expect to care could make all the difference.
Jack lifted his head to see Claire standing a few feet above them, gazing down at Ronnie, tears streaming down her face. He frowned at her. "Who are you?" He asked, sounding almost angry. Claire turned slowly to see who had spoken, when she saw it was Jack, she wasn't sure how to respond. Did she even have a right to be there?
"I'm Claire," she said, eventually. She gestured to Ronnie, "we're friends," she explained.
"Ronnie's never mentioned you," snapped Jack. He didn't know who this woman was, he hadn't even know that Ronnie knew anyone called Claire, Jack had never seen her around the square before. "How come I've never seen you here?"
"Well, I just moved. From Ireland. I met Ronnie when she came into my shop for..." Claire's voice trailed off. She didn't know how much Jack knew, whether he knew that Ronnie had tried to commit suicide. "Well we've been out for a coffee since, and she's popped in a few times for other things and we've chatted."
"So you hardly know her," said Jack, shortly.
Claire began to get rather annoyed, what business was it of his how they knew each other? "I know her much better than you think I do," she snapped back, the look she gave him gave away much more than her words. With that single look, she told Jack that she knew about Tony and her pregnancy. Jack got the impression she knew more than he did.
The pair were distracted from their argument by the sound sirens in the distance. The ambulance was finally there. Everyone felt a huge wave of relief wash through them. The ambulance pulled up outside the burning pub, followed by a fire engine. Two paramedics leapt out of the ambulance and immediately hurried over to where Ronnie lay. One of them shook her gently. "Hello? Can you hear me?" Called the paramedic. As predicted, Ronnie made no response. An oxygen mask was then fitted over her face to help her breathe as her breath was becoming more and more shallow.
Ronnie was lifted onto a stretcher and carried into the back of the ambulance. Roxy, Jack, Peggy and Claire all stood awkwardly, not sure who should be the one to go in the ambulance with her. Eventually Jack turned to Claire. "You go," he said, "you're just about the only person she isn't mad at right now." Claire stared at him, wondering if she had heard right. Just moments ago, this man had been practically telling her she shouldn't be there.
"Someone coming or not?" One of the paramedics called over their shoulder. With one last glance at Ronnie's family, Claire hurried forwards and hopped into the back of the van with Ronnie. She felt slightly uncomfortable, as if she didn't really deserve to be there. One of Ronnie's family or Jack should be taking this trip with Ronnie, not her. But there hadn't really be time to argue. Someone had had to go with her, just in case she could hear them or woke up in the ambulance. Ronnie needed to know that people were with her and cared.
All the way to the hospital, Claire held onto Ronnie's hand, to let her know she was there, but she didn't speak. She didn't know what to say, especially not with the paramedics there. She knew they had been in the same sort of situation thousands of times before, and wouldn't care if Claire had told Ronnie that she was secretly a Nazi and was planning to succeed Hitler and take over the world.
Just ten minutes later, they arrived at the hospital, and Ronnie was instantly wheeled into the hospital and taken off for emergency treatment. Claire stared after her for a moment, her eyes fixed on the still swinging double doors, then she sank into a nearby chair and curled her legs up onto the seat. She pulled her sleeves down to cover her hands as they were beginning to get cold and wrapped her arms around her waist. Claire stared at the floor, unseeing. She hated hospital. They reminded her vividly of that night when Alice had taken the overdose. She could remember thinking the whole time, what could I have done to prevent this? Although this was a different hospital, and a different situation, the memories still came flooding back as she once again tried to answer the same question.
After a while, Claire heard the rush of footsteps behind her. She looked over her shoulder to see Jack, Peggy, Roxy and two others she did not recognise standing behind her, looking around them as if Ronnie was about to jump out from around the corner. Jack caught sight of Claire and hurried over. "What's happening? How is she?" He asked in a rush. Claire shook her head.
"I don't know," she said, quietly. "They haven't told me anything yet." Jack collapsed into the empty chair beside Claire and covered his face with his hands.
"I should have been there," he mumbled into his hands. "I should have been with her, she shouldn't even have been in the pub. If only I had stayed with her..."
"Then that twisted bastard would have just found some other way to hurt her some other time," Claire finished for him. Jack's head shot out of his hands.
"How do you know it was him?" He asked, a hint of suspicion in his voice.
"She told me what he did to her. All night I've had this feeling, like something
horrible was going to happen. When it did, it didn't take a genius to work out who had stared that fire."
Peggy looked from Claire to Jack, confusion and shock crossing her face. "What do you mean, 'who started that fire'? Who hurt her? What are you talking about?" Claire bit her lip, she knew it wasn't her place to tell Peggy what had happened to Ronnie, but someone was going to have to. Jack opened his mouth to explain, but Claire caught his eye and shook her head slightly, gesturing with her eyes towards the young boy who had came into the hospital with them. Understanding, Jack looked meaningfully at Phil and said, "can you take Ben to get a drink please Phil."
Phil opened his mouth to argue, Jack could tell he wanted to hear whatever Jack was going to say too, but after a moment's consideration, he closed it again and nodded. "C'mon Ben, we'll come back here in a minute. Let's go and get a hot chocolate in the café." Ben wanted to argue, but knew there would be no point. Reluctantly, he followed his Dad out of the reception area. As soon as they were out of earshot, Peggy's eyes turned to Jack.
"What's going on?" She asked, her voice fearful. Jack took a deep breath.
"I'm not sure I should be the one to tell you this," he began, "but
Ronnie...she's pregnant. Only she doesn't know who the father is." Peggy looked shocked, but confused.
"She's...but what's that got to do with people hurting her?" Jack closed his eyes for a moment, now fully understanding why Ronnie had chosen not to tell him. Just the simple act of getting the words out was something that he could hardly stand to do, and he wasn't even the one who had been attacked.
"She was raped, Peggy," he said, eventually, "by Tony."
Peggy stared from Jack, to Roxy, to Claire, horrified. For a while, she was shocked into silence. Tony couldn't, he wouldn't. He was dating Roxy. He was a polite and successful business man, not a rapist. Jack must have got it wrong. What he was saying just didn't make sense.
"He can't have done," she gasped at last. Roxy stared at her Aunt, her eyes refilling with tears.
"He did Auntie peg," she whispered. "He told me himself. I didn't believe her, some of the things I said...don't make the same mistake."
Before Peggy could respond, a doctor walked through the double doors and came to a stop at the fringe of the cluster that Jack, Roxy, Peggy and Claire had formed. "Are you Veronica Mitchell's family?" she asked. Jack nodded quickly.
"Yeah, how is she?" He asked, frantically. The doctor smiled gently at him, but it didn't reach her eyes and she continued to look grave. She started to gable something that no one understood. She was using all medical language that didn't make sense.
"In English," snapped Roxy, losing her temper. The doctor's cheeks tinged pink slightly.
"Her lungs were damaged by the smoke. She stopped breathing for a while so we have put her on a ventilator to help her breath. At the moment, she isn't breathing by herself. She doesn't seem to have too many burns, just a couple of 2nd degrees on her arm and leg," she said, that time, making more sense.
Jack exhaled deeply. "Will she be OK?" He asked quietly, afraid of the answer.
The doctor's eyes filled with sympathy.
"At this stage, it's hard to tell. If she does wake up, it probably won't be for at least a few days. Even then she will be very groggy and may be unable to speak or move a lot. Hopefully, she will have no lasting lung damage, but that is too a possibility." Jack sank back into the chair beside Claire.
"If..." he gasped, his voice breaking. If. If she woke up. Jack ran his hands through his hair, he could never remember feeling so helpless. Ronnie may die. No. She couldn't die. She wouldn't. Jack couldn't live without her, especially not now. Not knowing how things ended between them. He had to tell her that he was there and always would be. She had to know he cared.
"She's pregnant, what about her baby, is it OK?" Jack said suddenly, lifting his head from his hands. The doctor frowned.
"We weren't aware that Miss Mitchell was pregnant, but I'll arrange a scan for you now. Is the father here?" Jack considered this for a while. "Yes," he said, eventually, "I'm the father." It was in that moment when he decided that like Ronnie, he didn't care whose baby this was, he was going to stand by Ronnie and bring the child up as his own.
"Can we see her?" Asked Jack, after making this final decision.
"Yes, of course. There's usually a limit on the number of visitors, but..." she didn't finish her sentence, but she didn't need to, everyone knew what she was going to say.
Jack, Claire, Roxy and Peggy followed the doctor through the double doors and along the corridor before they stopped outside a door. "This is her room," the doctor told them. "I don't know if she'll be able to hear you, so you can try talking to her." Peggy thanked the doctor and Jack slowly pushed open the door and stepped inside. The others followed suit, not knowing what to expect.
Ronnie lay amongst the white sheets, completely still. Various tubes and wires attached her to different machines, tying her to the bed. Jack drew a sharp breath and Roxy's eyes filled with tears, even though they were aching from all the crying. Everyone stood in the doorway, not knowing what to do. Suddenly, Jack rushed forwards and took Ronnie's hand in his, using his other hand to stroke her hair. "Ron," he muttered, his voice cracking. "It's OK sweetheart, we're all here. Everyone." His words seemed to encourage the others who stepped forwards to take their own places at Ronnie's bedside.
Roxy sat carefully down in a chair and cast her eyes to the floor. There was so much she needed and wanted to say to her sister, but she couldn't, not in front of everyone else. Her eyes flicked up towards Claire. "Who are you?" She asked, as if she had only just noticed her. Claire opened her mouth to explain again, but Jack got there first.
"She's a friend of Ronnie's," he explained. "She knows everything." Roy opened her mouth to respond, but then closed it again. She had been about to question whether Claire should be there, with them, but then she decided this may be rather hypocritical. Instead, she stayed quiet, but nodded at Claire and dropped her eyes back to the floor.
Ronnie was drifting. Sometimes, she was in a dream. Dreams of her past, and her present, and even some random ones that she didn't recognise. Other times, she tuned into the real world and heard everything that was going on around her. Sometimes Jack was there, sometimes it was her sister or Auntie Peggy. Claire was there too. But Jack never seemed to leave. Every time her brain tuned in, Ronnie could hear his voice. His words didn't make any sense. No one's ever did. They were more like noises, buzzing and squeaks.
Occasionally, Ronnie could make out a word or two, but her brain couldn't process what they meant, even though they sounded familiar.
However, Ronnie welcomed the voices. When they were present, the dreams stayed away. When there was only silence, Ronnie knew that any minute, a memory would come, a flashback. She would see things she hoped never to relive. Even when her dreams contained her daughter, they were painful.
Ronnie either had a replay the viscous words she had shot at her daughter, just minutes before she died, or she would go back. Back to a time when she lost her Amy for the first time. As the voices faded away, Ronnie felt her heart sink into the pits of dread. She knew what was coming now.
Ronnie held out her arms in front of her. Her empty, light arms. Just moments ago, they had been filled with the presence of life. With the presence of her daughter. Now she was gone, her baby was gone and all Ronnie could feel was a tight rope of despair entwining itself into her heart and soul. Two hours and twenty three minutes. A time period she would remember for the rest of her life, for it was the only time she ever had spent, and ever would spend with her daughter safe in her arms.
Already, she had failed as a mother. Her daughter was not yet one day old and Ronnie had let her down. She had allowed her father to take her, although she had begged him not to. He had told her that her Amy would be safe, that she was going somewhere where someone would take proper care of her until Ronnie was ready to do so herself. Her Dad had told her that she could see her daughter whenever she wanted, but Ronnie knew this was a lie. Even if it were true, by the time her Dad decided she was old enough to be a mother, her child wouldn't know her. She would grow up believing Ronnie was just a family friend, someone she could rely on, but not a mother. Amy would grow up calling some other woman 'Mum', maybe even another man 'Dad'.
Eventually, the time may come for Amy to go back to Ronnie, but Ronnie knew she wouldn't be able to take her. The girl would have come to know her foster parents as her real ones, she would see her home as the place she would be until she was old enough to live alone. As her mother, Ronnie knew she couldn't take her away from all that. She couldn't pull a young girl out of her home and expect her to adjust to a totally new life. She wouldn't be able to stand the feeling of her heart ripping in two every night as she heard her baby scream for her mother. A mother that wasn't her.
Her daughter was gone, lost to her, she would only ever be known as 'Ronnie' to her Amy, never 'Mum'. It was in that moment that Ronnie vowed she was never going to know her own parents as 'Mum and Dad' anymore. Her Mother had abandoned her when Ronnie needed her most, and now Ronnie had her own child, she knew this was something she would never have done. She had had her own child torn from her arms by the man that was supposed to love her, and Ronnie knew she couldn't forgive someone who had what she had lost and chosen to leave it all behind to save themselves. As for her Dad, well, he took her baby away. He pulled her from Ronnie's arms, ignored her protests, her begs for him to give her back her child. He watched as Ronnie sobbed in a heap on the floor, pleading with him, and all he had said was, 'she needs a proper mother,' before leaving through the open door, not even allowing Ronnie to say goodbye to her daughter.
Ronnie's head snapped up as she heard her Father come into the room. She took one look at his face, his pretend grief and knew what was coming. She didn't want to hear it, hearing would only make it real. Ronnie screamed, she screamed and yelled to black out her father's words. But nothing could stop the sound travelling to her, nothing could stop the agony that coursed through her with every breath. She words hit her and she vowed to hate her Father for the rest of both of their lives. "I'm sorry V, but she's dead."
Ronnie desperately tried to pull herself from the nightmare, but she had as little control over her mind as she had over her body. Her own screams echoed in her ears, the pain tore through her heart as she lost her daughter once again.
No one spoke as another doctor, different to the one who had first came to talk to Jack and the others about Ronnie, entered the room. No one even noticed she was there until she cleared her throat loudly. Roxy's eyes finally raised from the floor as she turned to face the doctor. Her kind face stared back at Roxy, and she smiled reassuringly.
"I'm going to have to ask you all to leave for a moment so we can perform a scan to check on Miss Mitchell's baby," the doctor explained. She smiled at them all, but it was too strained and false. Everyone could tell she was thinking the worst. If a grown woman could barely survive that blaze, how could an unborn baby?
Instead of speaking, Roxy simply nodded and climbed to her feet and slowly began to leave the room. Peggy and Claire followed, but Jack stayed where he was at Ronnie's bedside, her hand still clasped in his. "Excuse me sir, but you're going to have to leave too," said the doctor, gently, tucking a stray strand of dark hair behind her ear as she spoke. Jack's eyes met with hers, pleading.
"Please, can I stay? The baby...it's mine," he almost whispered. The doctor's eyes instantly filled with pity and sorrow. No matter how long you had been in this business, it was still impossible to watch a person's grief. To have to look them in the eye and tell them the person they have been waiting for is never coming back to them. She nodded, "Yes of course."
Jack was silent as the doctor, who he had learned was named Dr. Harrison, set up the equipment and began the scan. Jack watched her face as she stared at the screen, searching for any signs of life. He had to turn away as he saw the pity and sorrow in her eyes. Finally, she gave up and switched of the machine. She turned to Jack, her features lined with sympathy. She opened her mouth to tell him the truth about his and Ronnie's unborn child, but Jack put a hand up to stop her.
"I'll save you a job," he said, "I know, I saw your face as you did that scan. Our baby's dead." There was no emotion in Jack's voice as he spoke. He had no idea if the child truly had been his or not, he didn't care either. He had already started to love it as if it were. But more than anything, he was grieving for the woman who lay so lifeless at his fingertips. Jack knew what this would have done to her at the best of times, but now, when she was already so broken and lost, that Jack didn't know if he would be able to find her, let alone piece her back together. Jack realised it wasn't a question of how was she going to deal with this new bomb that had exploded and shattered anything that was still intact into tiny little pieces, but a question of how she wasn't.
Doctor Harrison gazed at Jack with great pity. "I really am sorry," she said. And she sounded it too. Jack could tell it wasn't just an act, she genuinely was sorry for them both. Jack broke the eye contact and instead looked at Ronnie's still form.
"How am I going to tell her?" He chocked out. Dr Harrison shook her head.
"I can't tell you that," she said. "But I can tell you how not to do it. Don't do it over the phone. Don't call her up in the middle of her business meeting to tell her that her baby has died," before she even finished, the doctor's eyes filled with tears, which began to spill down her cheeks. Jack glanced at Ronnie again.
"I don't think there's much danger of that," he whispered. After a pause, he asked, "is that how you were told?" She nodded slowly and wiped away her tears by the back of her hand.
"Then my husband wondered why I wanted to divorce him. He told me it wasn't his fault that our baby died. I said I didn't blame him, that I forgave him for falling asleep on top of our child, but what I couldn't forgive was that he hadn't even had the guts to tell me to my face. So whatever you do, you have to do it face to face, and it will be best coming from you." Jack nodded.
"I'll make sure of it," he said, trying to smile at the doctor. She knew how it felt to lose a child, to have to tell someone that the person they loved most in the world, was dead. Even if they had never even had a chance at life.
Ronnie was blind. All she could see was the darkness. There were noises and voices drifting around in the black. They called to her, on more than one occasion she heard her own name. She recognised the voices, she could tell who they belonged to, but the words were senseless. Ronnie wanted to answer them, but was so lost she couldn't find her own voice. Only one person could penetrate through the dark, so that Ronnie could understand and make sense of what they were saying. Roxy's voice was the only one that spoke any meaning. She told Ronnie over and over again that she was sorry and hadn't meant what she said. Ronnie wished she wouldn't. Every time Roxy spoke, it only reminded her of her sister's words; of what had happened to her and the sister she could not forgive.
The only time her sister's voice was welcomed was when Ronnie was falling into a dream. Sometimes, the sound pulled her away from the nightmare world; the world she had came to dread. Other times it only pushed her deeper. Ronnie wanted so much to be free from the grip that this nothing had on her. Here, all she had were her thoughts and dreams. She was trapped in a permanent nightmare where she was forced to relive all the worst horrors of her life, and even some that never existed, over and over again. Ronnie didn't know which was worse.
The room was brightly lit. There was a fire roaring at one end of the room, but this time, it was warm and safe. Simply there to brighten and bring warmth into the room and to create a homely atmosphere. In this place, Ronnie felt safe, she was sure that here, no one would hurt her. This was warm and familiar, the home she grew up in. The best part of being here however, was the peace of mind that it brought. This was before Danielle, before she had fallen pregnant, before her mum left. A time when Ronnie was still young and innocent; she knew none of the evil that the world held.
The door creaked and Ronnie heard someone enter the room. All at once, the atmosphere changed. The fire continued to burn, but now it didn't offer any warmth or light. It no longer glowed. A dark shadow had been cast in its path, blocking and light from reaching Ronnie so she was only in darkness. A darkness she had grown so used to. It was cold. So cold in fact, that Ronnie found herself shivering. The peace and tranquillity had gone and in their place were fear and dread.
"Veronica," her father's cold voice pierced though her skin and chilled her to the bone. He placed something on the table in front of her. It made a loud clunk as it hit the surface. The familiar sound bounced off the walls and increased Ronnie's fear.
"You have until the snow settles." Ronnie didn't even have to ask what he was talking about. Dread had wrapped itself so tightly around her heart that it held her down. Tying her to the spot in which she stood. Her breath caught in her throat, consumed by fear.
Finally, the roots loosened enough to allow Ronnie to move. She turned and stumbled from the room, willing her legs to carry her faster, to bolt. She wanted to run right out of the front door and never look back, but she couldn't. She had to stay in this living hell for the sake of her sister, Roxy. Ronnie knew what was coming, she knew the inevitable horror that awaited her. She began to shake as she searched desperately for a place to hide. She didn't go to her bedroom, she never did. That was the one place she always felt safe and protected, it was the only place that was hers. If it happened there, Ronnie knew she would never feel that security again.
Ronnie froze in fear as she heard her father's gentle footsteps on the stairs. Quickly, she hurried into her sister's bedroom and rolled under the bed. Luckily., Roxy was out with their mother. Her father never came near her when her mother and Roxy were around, but at least her sister was safe from all of this. Silent tears leaked from Ronnie's eyes as she heard her father approaching. She tucked her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, as if to protect herself. It wouldn't work though. It never did. Ronnie heard her dad searching her own room. Surely he had learned by now that she never went in there? Ronnie felt the room grow cold and she knew her dad was there. He had found her. Ronnie considered crawling out and letting him get her. The waiting was almost worse. She felt as if she were waiting for her own hanging. A hanging would have been preferable to this, at least them there would be only a few moments of fear and pain before it was all over. This way, there would be pain for a long time to come. The fear would never go away.
Dread filled the depths of her heart and soul, making even breathing almost impossible. Ronnie squeezed her eyes shut and carefully inched herself farther and farther backwards so she was pressed against the cold wall. The feel of something behind her made her feel more safe, as if she was enclosed and less easy to see and get to. Silently, Ronnie preyed that this time, he wouldn't find her. There was music playing in the background. A slow piano version of 'The First Noel', sounded through the house. It was Ronnie's favourite Christmas carol, but now it only sent cold shivers shooting down her spine. Warm breath landed on her face, warning Ronnie of the horror that was about to begin. Even as she heard her father's voice whisper, "gotcha," she didn't open her eyes. Ronnie didn't want to witness any part of what he did. Ronnie felt her arms being pulled away and her legs being straightened out. She didn't struggle. It was always worse when she did. Ronnie's body and mind shut down as her lips formed the shapes of the words, "please help me."
Suddenly, Ronnie felt a huge jolt of pain and her eyes shot open; but instead of seeing her father's face staring down at her, the bottom of Roxy's bed, or even the darkness she had grown accustomed to, Ronnie found herself staring
right into the face of Jack.
I'm sat here having a Sex and the City marathon with myself. What a sad little life I lead.
Ronnie blinked at Jack, wondering if she was still dreaming. She tried to speak to him, to see if he was real, but there was something blocking her throat. Instead she simply stared, confused and terrified after her dream. It had been so vivid and detailed, Ronnie hadn't thought she was ever going to have to live through that again. Jack reached out a hand and touched her face, proving he was real. The sudden contact startled Ronnie, especially after her dream and she flinched. Jack drew back his hand as if her skin was poisoned. "I'm sorry," he whispered. This only confused Ronnie further, what was he apologising for?
"I'll be right back, Ron," Jack promised before rushing from the room. Ronnie watched him go, she tried to keep her eyes open, but she was so very tired and her eyelids were slowly closing against her will.
When Ronnie next woke up, she felt stronger, as if she belonged in the real world rather than floating between that and the nightmare darkness that she had been living in for some time. Ronnie didn't know how long. There, she had lost all sense of time. She blinked, trying to grow accustomed to the sudden brightness. As her eyes became more focused, Ronnie realised Jack was sitting in a chair beside her, watching her cautiously.
"Don't you ever leave?" Ronnie whispered, weakly. Whatever was blocking her throat before was gone. She tried to smile at Jack, to show she was joking, but the mouth didn't seem to want to. The effort of that simple gesture, as if she was actually happy, was too much. Jack smiled at her, but sadly, as if he could tell that she seemed to have lost her own ability.
"I'm never going to leave you again," he vowed.
Jack leaned forwards and stretched out a hand to place on hers, but before he could touch her, Ronnie moved her own hand. Just a little, Jack could have still reached over and taken her hand if he wanted to, but the hint was clear. Ronnie didn't want him touching her. Jack didn't know if it was personal, if he had hurt her too much or if she just couldn't stand physical contact at all after what Tony had done to her.
"I'm sorry, Ron," said Jack. Ronnie looked at him, his eyes pleading and frowned.
"Why do you keep saying that?" She murmured. "What do you have to be sorry for?" Ronnie closed her eyes briefly. Talking was such hard work, it drained her energy as quickly as running a mile. Jack seemed to have the same thought.
"sshh, don't try and speak, sweetheart," he said, gently. "I'm sorry for everything. For the way I've treated you these past few weeks, for thinking you willingly slept with Tony, for saying what I said about Danielle, and for running out when you told me what he did to you. I should have been there and I wasn't. I'm so sorry."
"You mean you believe me?" Ronnie muttered, faintly. Jack's face creased in concern, she sounded so weak.
"Oh Ron, of course I do. I know how it must have looked, and I really can't tell you how sorry I am. But I'm here for you, Ron. I always will be. As I said, I'm never leaving you again, not until the day you send me away. I love you."
"I love you too," Ronnie mumbled, she let her hand fall to her side and uncurled her hand. She didn't have the strength to move any more, but Jack knew what she wanted. He smiled a genuine smile and took her hand. Ronnie's fingers curled around his, entwining their hands.
Ronnie's eyes drifted shut, and Jack thought she had fallen asleep again, but just moments later she spoke. "What happened to Tony? Where is he?" She asked, her voice shaking. Jack squeezed her hand tightly.
"Go to sleep Ron, we'll talk about this later." Ronnie jerked her head, she wanted to shake it, but that was all her body would allow.
"No Jack, I need to know. Where is he?" She insisted. Jack bit his lip.
"They haven't found him yet," he said, softly. "But the police are doing everything they can, and with all our descriptions of him, they should find him in no time." His words were meant to comfort her, but instead they just seemed to agitate Ronnie further.
"What if they do? What then? I don't want to see him, I don't want to talk to the police or have to go to court." She said, her voice breaking. Jack had been expecting this.
"No one's going to make you do anything you don't want Ron," he said, and he meant it. No one was ever going to force her into anything again. He would make sure of that.
The door swung open and Roxy rushed in, followed by Peggy. "Ron!" cried Roxy. "Jack told us you were awake." Ronnie stared at her sister. She didn't know how to react to her. She wanted to scream at Roxy to get out and leave her alone, but she didn't have the energy. Neither physically or mentally. Roxy had made sure of that. Roxy's expression changed when she saw the blank look Ronnie was giving her. Peggy saw the silent
conversation between her two nieces and quickly jumped in.
"Ronnie, sweetheart, how are you feeling?" She said, kindly.
"I'm alright Auntie Peg," said Ronnie, quietly. She wasn't as tired anymore, but she still felt weak and drained of all her energy.
"You scared me Ron, I thought you were going to die," Roxy whispered. Ronnie jerked her head to look at her sister. She glared coldly into her eyes.
"I thought that was what you wanted," she said, tonelessly. Roxy's eyes filled with tears.
"Ron please, I didn't mean it. You have to know that." Ronnie continued to stare coolly at her sister.
"Yes you did. At the time, you meant every word. It's only now you find out he isn't the dream man you thought he was and now you're sorry. Because that's what happened isn't it? He told you the truth, or you found out. Now, you want to know me again. If you really cared Rox, you would never have believed him over me. You would never have wished me dead." Roxy was freely crying by this point, tears streaming down her face.
"I do care. I'm so sorry, please don't do this," she begged.
"Why not?" Ronnie shot back, "You did. You turned your back on me when I needed you the most. You chose him over me and now you're going to have to live with that choice."
Before Roxy could reply, the door opened again, and Claire walked in. She grinned when she saw Ronnie was awake. "Long time no see," she said, brightly.
"Claire, you were here yesterday," sighed Jack. He had grown used to her over the past few days. They had seen a lot of each other, both being so worried about Ronnie. They were always accidentally meeting at the hospital. Sometimes, they spoke to Ronnie about nothing in particular, and other times, when they had grown tired of one way conversations, they had spoken to each other. Jack had found out a lot about Claire, including she had been in this position before. Wondering if she was ever going to speak to a friend again, and if it was all her fault that she might not. In return, Jack had told Claire all about his and Ronnie's past relationship. About Amy and the condom incident. He told Claire, while she listened, about the amount of times he had hurt Ronnie, and how he was determined not to screw up again. Jack had also asked for her help in telling Ronnie that their baby was dead. Claire, like Jack, knew that saying Ronnie would not react well to the news was an understatement. But Jack also knew she wouldn't tell him how she was feeling. She would just push him out as usual and either carry on like everything was fine, or retreat even further into herself and allow no one to reach her.
Claire rolled her eyes. "Yes, but Ronnie wasn't seeing me then was she? It was just me seeing her," she said, as if her meaning was the most obvious thing in the world. Ronnie smiled slightly. She was glad of Claire's presence. Not only had it interrupted her argument with Roxy, but Claire's ever cheerful attitude never failed to cheer everyone around her, even if it was such a tiny difference, that Ronnie barely noticed.
"Hey Claire," she said. Ronnie was unable to manage to smile at her, but
the faraway look in her eyes changed. It didn't go away, but looked as if she had moved maybe an inch closer to the room she was in.
Roxy, who hadn't even seemed to have noticed Claire's entrance turned back to Ronnie. "Isn't there anything I can do to show you I do care? That I love you?" she whispered. Ronnie also turned to face Roxy, she looked her straight in the eye as she said, "Yes. You can get out of here. You can leave this room and my life. Now." She said, coldly. Ronnie hadn't thought it possible, but the words she spoke to her sister caused her even deeper pain. She hadn't even been aware she could still feel. Fresh tears spilled down Roxy's cheeks.
"Don't do this Ron," she pleaded.
"I love you Roxy," said Ronnie, "that will never change, but at the moment just you being in the same room physically hurts. I can't forget what you did. I can't forget you chose him. You looked me in the eye and told me I was a liar, you said Danielle was better off dead with me as a mother then wished me dead and walked out of there arm in arm with the man who destroyed me. One day, I may be able to speak to you without it tearing me apart, but not now. I love you, you're my little sister and nothing is going to make the slightest bit of difference to that, but I'll never forgive you. So please just leave now." with that, Ronnie turned away from her sister, just as she had turned away from Ronnie.
How are my lovely two readers today? I'm alive, that has to count for something :)
Jack watched Ronnie and Roxy's argument without a word. This time, he couldn't stand up for what Roxy had done. He couldn't calm Ronnie down and make her see reason because she was calm, she was seeing reason. In Jack's opinion, Ronnie had every right to not want her sister near her. Jack could hardly stand to be around Roxy, and it wasn't even him she had done wrong by. He had just seen the results of the damage that Roxy had done. The day in the café, that horrible day where everything came to a head, he had seen the change in Ronnie. Although she had been different for a while, he had never seen her like that. Not even right after Danielle died. That day, she wasn't just distant and ghost like, she was a ghost. It was the day Jack had realised your body didn't need to shut down for you to die.
As Roxy hurried from the room, Peggy considered going after her, but for Ronnie's sake, she decided against it.
"Do you want us to go too?" Claire asked, once Roxy had gone. Ronnie shook her head.
"No," she said, softly. "You're alright. Unless you want to leave." Claire grinned.
"Can't wait, been wishing you would say that since I got here," she teased. Ronnie almost smiled. She appreciated that Claire was just being her normal self, teasing and making jokes. Everyone else seemed to be walking on eggshells, as if they expected Ronnie to flip out and kill them all at any moment. Ronnie wasn't stupid. She knew they were all hiding something. She could tell by the way they kept exchanging tragic looks when they thought she couldn't see. Well, Jack and Peggy were. Claire was being careful to avoid anyone's eye.
Ronnie shifted her hand to her stomach. She knew the baby wouldn't be kicking yet, but it comforted her all the same, knowing that her child was alive inside of her. For he or she was alive. Her baby was OK, Danielle had sent her back to take care of her unborn child, surely that meant the baby was fine? Her daughter would never have made her leave otherwise, and nothing else on Earth or otherwise could have convince Ronnie to leave her Amy.
Jack saw Ronnie's hand come to rest on her stomach and his own clenched tightly. How was he going to tell her that her baby hadn't made it? That there was no longer a child growing inside her. He knew she would react badly, if possible, this would send her even further into herself. No one could reach her as it was, what if by telling her he pushed her right over the edge? So far that no one could save her, so that she would inevitably die. Whether this would be deliberate, through her own will, or whether her body would just give up on her Jack didn't know. He just preyed he could save her from that. He knew he was going to have to tell her sooner rather than later. The longer he left it, the more she would become convinced that the child was fine, then it would be even worse when he eventually did. He took a deep breath.
"Peggy, Claire can you give me a moment alone with Ronnie please," he whispered. He looked at them both meaningfully, so that they knew what he was about to do. Peggy nodded quickly and stood to leave, but Claire hung behind.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" She asked, quietly. Jack shook his head.
"It's OK, this is something I need to do alone." Ronnie was looking from Jack to Claire, confusion crossed over her features, but almost instantly, the look evaporated. What did she care what he had to say? She was probably about to find out what they were all keeping from her, but she didn't really care. Ronnie knew her baby was fine, and that was all that mattered. She didn't have the strength left to care about anything else. It was probably something to do with Tony. That he had left the country and no one knew where he was or something like that. Just so long as he never came near her or anyone she loved ever again, Ronnie couldn't care less where he was now. In fact, it would almost be better if he was gone for good, it would mean she wouldn't have to talk to the police, or stand up in court.
Ronnie turned to Jack once Peggy and Claire had both left. "So what's this bog secret you all have?" She asked.
"How do you know there's a secret?" Jack frowned. Ronnie sighed.
"I'm not stupid Jack, I know there's something going on. From the way you're all creeping around me as if I'm a time bomb and keep looking at each other as if someone's died for a start." Jack flinched at her example choice.
"Ron," he started, but his voice broke off and he had to take another deep breath before he could continue. "I don't know how to tell you this, it's..." Ronnie rolled her eyes.
"Spit it out will you Jack," she sighed. Jack's grip on her hand tightened.
"Please Ron, listen to me," he begged. "This is serious. It's about...our baby." Ronnie froze. Everything was OK. It had to be. The child was what she came back for, everything had to be fine.
"It...our child, they didn't make it sweetheart." Jack spoke as gently and as softly as he would do to Amy. His voice was slow, as if he was having trouble getting the words out.
Jack was saying something else, but Ronnie couldn't hear him. Her breath was coming out in short gasps, nothing he said made any sense. Of course her baby wasn't dead. They were fine, that was why she was here, to take care of her child. Danielle wouldn't have made her come back if her child was dead. Jack was lying, or wrong. He had to be. Her baby couldn't be dead, they just couldn't be. Ronnie couldn't go through it again, she couldn't face losing another child. She had already had to say goodbye to Danielle three times, if she had lost another, it would be too much. This baby was the only reason she had for continuing, without her child, she had nothing left for her on this Earth.
"Ron?" Jack was pleading with her to listen, to look at him, or say something. But Ronnie was too far away. His words weren't even penetrating her brain. Ronnie suddenly snatched her hand away.
"No!" She cried. "You're lying. My baby's alive, I can feel it. I know they are. Danielle sent me back to look after them!"
"Ronnie..." Jack was crying by this point. His shoulders shook with sobs as he pleaded with her. He couldn't stand the way she was being. He was used to her shutting down, pushing everyone out or getting angry, but not this. He had never seen her outright refuse to believe something like this before. To be so convinced that whoever was telling her the bad news was wrong. And she had mentioned Danielle. She said that her daughter 'sent her back'. What was that supposed to mean? What was most heart breaking however, was that Jack knew that deep down, Ronnie knew he was telling the truth. She knew he wasn't wrong, he wasn't lying; but she just couldn't bring herself to admit to it.
"Don't Jack!" Ronnie chocked out. She wanted to shout and scream, but her body wouldn't let her. She didn't have that kind of energy. She covered her ears with her hands and turned away from him. "Leave me alone," she sobbed. "Just go. My baby isn't dead, she isn't, she isn't, she isn't!" Tears were streaming from Ronnie's eyes, tears she didn't even knew were still left. She thought they were all gone.
"Ronnie," Jack begged. He reached out a hand to touch her, but she pulled away from him.
"Go!" She cried, her voice breaking. Jack shook his head.
"No," he said, firmly, although he was still crying himself. "I said I'm never leaving you again, and I won't. I'm not leaving now, not while you're like this. I'm not leaving you alone." Ronnie made no response, she just pressed her hands harder over her ears to block out his words and continued to sob.
Jack couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't just watch her in this agony. He knew this baby was probably the only reason she had chosen to remain alive. Ronnie wouldn't listen to him, he couldn't comfort her with words. She wouldn't let him touch her either, but Jack didn't care. He stood up and lay down on the bed beside her, he then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him. At first, Ronnie resisted. She struggled and tried to push him off, but every time her hands pushed him away, Jack only tightened his grip on her. Eventually, she stopped struggling, all her energy drained. Ronnie allowed herself to sink into Jack's embrace and let him hold her as the only remaining pieces of her heart burned and broke.
Being alive always counts for something. You never what good is hiding around the corner. Hope your okay. WOuld love to read the sequel, Your writing is good. Be gald to read it :D
when i fall, no one catch me alone lonely, i'll overdose slowly
get scared, i'll scream and shout
but you know it wont matter she'll be passing out
In the next few days, Jack was almost always with Ronnie. He refused to leave the hospital, even at night and slept on the floor beside her bed. Jack told the doctors and Ronnie that he just didn't want to leave her, that he wanted to be there for her whenever she might need him, and that could be four in the morning in which case he wanted to make sure he was around. But Ronnie knew, and Jack knew and probably the nurse on night duty knew that he was keeping watch. He didn't trust Ronnie to be alone from fear that she might take herself away from him to join Danielle and their other child who never lived.
Everyday Jack watched Ronnie. He watched the way she positioned her hands to sit up in bed, the way she ate, or didn't eat, the hospital food, he watched how she spoke to others and the way her eyes moved around the room as if searching for an escape. Jack watched all this, determined that if it came to it he would see what Ronnie was going to do and stop her from doing it. What Jack didn't think of, didn't want to think of was that he couldn't watch all the time. He had to sleep, he had to take toilet breaks and of course, so did Ronnie. There were times when Ronnie was out of his sight and these moment scared him more than anything else in the world. Jack was doing his best to hold Ronnie together, to piece back her shattered form, but sometime he would have to let go, he would lose his grip and then there would be nothing stopping her.
Ronnie knew Jack was trying to help her, he was trying to fix her, but she also knew he never could. She was too broken, beyond anything anyone could do. No one had the power to save her now. There were two holes in her heart. One Danielle shaped one that had started off the size of the tiny baby that had been snatched from her arms all those years ago and had grown to the size of a nineteen year old girl. The other, had no real shape at all. It was of someone that never existed, someone that was hardly human. This hole settled itself in the very bottom of her heart, so that nothing could ever be built on top of it. There are some things that just can't be fixed, no matter how good the mechanic. Even Bob the Builder would call her a lost cause.
One person didn't seem to be accepting this, however. Jack just wouldn't leave her alone. He was always there, always watching. He seemed to think he could and would fix her. What he didn't know was that Ronnie didn't want to be fixed, if she was, it would be as if she was forgetting the children she never knew. Allowing Jack to heal her would mean she didn't care, and she did, so much. For this reason Ronnie wanted to stay as she was. She deserved it, after what she had done to both her children, she deserved this existence, people like her didn't have the right to be happy.
Roxy hadn't been to see her sister since she had ordered her away three days ago. She wanted to, she wanted to see how Ronnie was doing, how the latest news had effected her. Roxy knew Ronnie as well as she knew herself and she knew that Ronnie would close off from everyone. That she would pretend like everything was fine while she fell apart. Quietly.
Everyday, Roxy went to the hospital. Everyday she got as far as Ronnie's door and then turned and walked out again without Ronnie being any the wiser that she had ever been there at all. In truth, Roxy didn't know what to say. She knew she had a lifetime of making up to do. She knew that Ronnie wasn't going to want to forgive her. She knew that after what she had done, she didn't deserve anything else. What she had done was unforgivable. Especially to her own sister. It would have been a crime against a stranger, but her own flesh and blood, the person she loved most in the world aside from her daughter, it was monstrous. Nothing could ever make up for what she did, and Roxy would always hate herself for the way she had behaved, but she hoped that in time, Ronnie would think differently.
The pair were sisters. This was wrong, this wasn't just a normal fight, it was so much more. The bond that had held them together through all of these years, no matter what happened, no matter who intervened, had broken. And without it their relationship had crumbled into nothing. All ties were broken and Ronnie had no obligation to ever go near Roxy again.
Ronnie lay amongst the crispy hospital sheets, listening to he rhythmic beeping of the machines she was tied to and staring blankly at the dull, white ceiling. Jack had gone on a much needed toilet break, so for a few moments, Ronnie was able to breathe. She could think about every time she would be alone, every opportunity she would get to join her children without Jack seeing it in her eyes and tightening his grip. It was what Ronnie had always wanted. She wanted Jack to see what was behind the smile and care about what he saw. But not like this. This wasn't caring, this was suffocating. Ronnie was already living without a heart, without a soul. Now she couldn't breathe either.
The sound of the door swinging open hit Ronnie's ears and she resigned herself to another few hours of suffocation. Ronnie didn't look towards the person who had entered. She didn't want to see Jack's concern, the way he looked at her as if she wasn't even human. Sometime, Ronnie though he wasn't so far off the truth. The voice that greeted her caused shock waves to pulse through her body and the heart monitor to beat faster.
"Hello Veronica," said the cold voice of her father. Still, Ronnie didn't draw her eyes away from the ceiling. If she had a soul, it would have frozen over. The sound of his voice sent chills down her spine almost as much as the sound of Tony's. When she was with this man, like when she was with Tony, she wasn't in control, and this scared Ronnie beyond imagination. As she had discovered in the course of her life, when you weren't in control, everything went to pieces.
"Get out," Ronnie said in a flat, emotionless voice.
"I only came to see how you were V, how many more of your own family are you going to throw out before you realise you're the one that's wrong?" Ronnie tried to block his words, to keep him away from her mind, but found it impossible. Her father had a way of getting inside her head and destroying things that Ronnie wasn't even aware were there to destroy. He knew every route into her mind, every weakness and every crack.
Archie moved closer to Ronnie's bed, his cold eyes staring right into her, pushing his thoughts into her mind. Ronnie's own eyes blinked and in the next second she was looking right into the eyes of her father. She had to see him, if she didn't, he could take even more control. She had to watch him at all times so she knew what was coming. Archie's hand reached out to touch her, to torment her. Ronnie flinched backwards violently. She couldn't stand the thought of his bare hands touching her skin...
Seeing her reaction, Archie smirked. "Am I that repulsive to you V?" He leered.
"Don't touch me," Ronnie said, tonelessly.
"Why's that Veronica? Does it remind you of old times? Do you remember? You and I, we used to be so close, what happened to all that?" To anyone else, Archie would sound like an ordinary father looking back over the years and wondering what happened to his little girl. To Ronnie this was his way of breaking her, but what he didn't understand was that he could do no more damage. There was nothing left to break.
"What we had was never 'being close'. It was sick and repulsive. You controlled me, you thought I would always be your puppet. It was only when I rebelled, when I wanted my own life that you couldn't stand it. When someone else wanted me. When you weren't the only one. You couldn't stand the fact that I was someone else's, that I would live for someone who wasn't you, so you took it all away." Archie's smirk grew.
"Oh I didn't take anything Veronica. You gave it to me. I didn't physically force that baby from your arms, you gave her up, you gave up Joel, you gave up everything to me."
"No, Dad, you stole it all. You told me she would be safe, you ordered Joel away. You stole my childhood, you stole everything I had. Now I have nothing, so why are you still here? What else could you possibly take from someone who has nothing?" Archie smiled, it wasn't a friendly smile, it was unsettling and evil.
"All the time you're still here V, there's always something more to take."
One more chapter left and then onto the sequel that I like a little more than I like this one.
