Hey, I hope people are ok. I'm back in a more stable place and I think I'll be able to post a bit more frequently. Just wanted to let you all know I'm thinking of you.
I've got a psych appointment tomorrow, a bit nervous. Probably be about after as I might need to talk/take my mind off things!
Pom (sorry, don't know your name/forgotten... bloody meds brain!), massive hugs. I don't have many words at the moment, but I'm thinking of you xxx
Whatever Happened to our Inner Glow?
<3 Sarah, My brilliant, beautiful, RAWR little sis
emma - maybe its good, it might seem like you dont want it but it sounds like you do need it and it could be useful, but you have to be honest and tell them what your head is saying.
Hi ev, good luck with it tomrow.
kat - People can only help so much, but when other people have the cant and wont attitude, then people cant be botherd anymore because its pointless, maybe you do ask but recently i havent seen anything hence why i was pointing it out, im too tired to write, but people can only help if your willing to help yourself, otherwise there isnt a point.
Maybe, but i slowley feel myself slipping into a depression, and its only the first day, i think i have alot more demons than i thought i did.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Yeah I see, it is up to me and I'm gearing myself to talk to my Mum, it's the best thing I can do, had a long and hard think about it today. I think I will get help, I'm just waiting to start college to see if that changes my mood because then I'll be occupying myself with work, recently I've been at home which is probably why my mood has dropped and stuff.
Is there any way you can stop yourself slipping into the depression? It's good that you've seen it now as opposed to a few weeks/months down the line when it'll be harder to get out of it.
i think its better to get it now before you start, because there is alot of pressures at college which can get to you so its nicer to already have it in place, and plus waiting list times as well.
I dont really think so, even though im not alone, i just feel it so much - and rejected.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
Mari what steps are you going to take to stop yourself succumbing to it? Now you are at University there will be services you can access outside of the CMHT, if you want to avoid them, and I don't just mean counselling. Have you thougt about any of them?
kat - i understand where your coming from, waiting for an easier option,t rying to wait for your mood to lift, i do it alot and usually end up the worse for it. and i also recognise the whole.. i dont think anything will help whats the point kinda vibe.. just hang int here and remember rather than waiting, proactiveity is better. start the ball rolling for help ? its easier to stop it than start it.
me - i got my timetable today and it looks like im not gonna be able to start dbt because my lectures dont work with me doing group. So waiting since march has kinda been for nothing at the moment.. feel a bit flat but i had a good night so .. only slightly off tonight
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
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Emily Bronte
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Yeah, that's really what I'm doing, just hoping that my mood'll lift. I probably won't look at counsellors at my college, I have a feeling that cos I'm under 18 they'd tell my Mum and if anyone was to tell my Mum I'd rather it come from me, she wouldn't be too happy if it came from anyone else.
Sorry to hear about you not being able to start DBT, that's such a pain that it clashes with your timetable. Is there anyway you could arrange for the DBT to be at another time?
Hi..
I've only posted a couple of times before, I find it hard to jump in and post sometimes. I hope it's ok that I contribute;
Kitkat - you;re making assumptions without finding out the real truth first. Go to the counselling service at your college. ASK if it is confidential and IF they will tell your Mum. You're not in the place to make a valued judgement on what to do if you first of all do not get ALL the FACTS.
Getting all the facts (ie asking about counselling) would be PROACTIVE, which is what the others are talking about.
You can't expect others to help you, if first of all you don't help yourself.
I know it is hard, but you have to fight for recovery, it isn't just handed to you on a plate.
I wish you all the best.
Left in Centre - that's hard luck that you won't be able to do DBT while you're doing (is it uni?) college (sorry, not sure). Are there any other sources of support/therapy that you can access instead? Such as college/uni counselling service? I know it's not the same but it could be a valuable source of support for you while studying.
Mari - I hope you are able to nip the depression in the bud before it escalates. I know that is difficult to do though. As Pomegranate suggests, are there other services you can access?
When I was at Uni (which was many moons ago LOL!) I accessed the counselling service which seriously helped me get through my degree. Any services the Uni has on offer are worth looking into. I wish you all the best.
Me - I just found out I can't get funding for a college course because it has no fee remissions. It's a no-goer for this year. Oh well, I'll find something else.
take care all,
Disco
xxxx
Last edited by discovery_journey : 14-09-2010 at 06:15 PM.
kat - i agree with what's been said. go and find out what their confidentiality policy is. I got counselling at school when i was .. 14 up to when i was 17 lol and it was all kept confidential from my mum except when i said i was suicidal .. some will be different in that if you tell them your self harming they may tell someone.. but it depends on who the person is and how much danger they think your in.
disco - hard luck on the funding that sucks, but saving means you can do it eventually right ? what is the course ?
me - i cant re arrange the group part of dbt thats what they've always said.. im gonna phone them today and see what my options are though , i guess im just feeling rejected from the system again. especily after the ambulance people the other week.
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
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Emily Bronte
hi guys hope ur all ok sorry i havent been around ive been trying to not dump on u with other stuff and didnt know how i stood with other stuff with me like my dbt and not knowing who i am i guess sorry its very jumbeled thats how my brain is at mo.
mari i hope things lift up for u. least by knowing one person it gives u like a stepping stone to getting to know others i guess.
sarah ive spoken to u about this and i hope u get it all sorted soon :)
rowie sending u lots of hugs chick hope u feel better soon and if u wanna chat u know where i am
carrie hope ur ok thank u for the compliment on my photo mean alot.
emma hows it going with the home treatment team, or havent they come yet. hope they camn be useful cus u deserve it.
disco wat country are u in. that must really suck.
I'm back to college Thursday and off work tomorrow.
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
cheryl - i spoke to my therapist and she basicly said tell me when you can change your class, if you cant i'll stick you on another waiting list for something that wont work aswell. not overly helpful
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
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Emily Bronte
Sarah- That is horrible if they won't let you rearrange the groups. Surely there must be more than one time each week? Even if you have to wait a little longer to start. They should see the benefit of you studying and having something to focus on. Hope you get it sorted.
Disco- I hope you get something sorted.
Cheryl- Did you find out where you stand with DBT? How are things apart from that?
Are you looking forward to college Daniella?
How is everyone else?
Me- Thanks for asking Cheryl. The HTT turned up at 10am this morning and woke me up so I did an assessment half a sleep. I feel so ashamed...my flat is a total mess and I was going to try and tidy it before they came round but I obviously didn't get the chance. God knows what they thought but they were very nice about it. They are coming round tomorrow lunch time again and supposed to call tonight. I don't really know what to do....the Doctor asked if I thought their help would be enough or whether I would be better with a few days IP to stabilise me first. I said IP wasn't necessary but I don't know which 'me' answered that. I don't want to go, I need to be doing these things that they think are bad, IP would temporarily stop that and lets face it...it isn't going to change anything really. I don't recognise this person that I've become, I feel like a total shell. Most days at the moment I can't even make myself get dressed let alone showered or be productive. Its pathetic.
Sorry for the self pity rant. I know it is negative to read but I just feel awfully alone and I don't know what to do.
Carrie... I feel a bit empty about going back to a TC, but then I don't feel hopeful about anything working for me these days. I do know that, overall, being at Main House was good for me, plus a day TC means I'll be able to get the treatment as well as be able to practice what I learn outside the TC, which you don't really get to do when you're residential. Have a lot of reservations, though.
Emma, not too sure what kind of job I'm looking for, I might see if I can see a personal adviser through the jobcentre. I won't be working whilst I am at the day TC as it's four days a week, but likelyhood is the waiting list'll be about 9 months, so I need to do something in the meantime.
I didn't realise it was 4 days a week Laura, I had assumed it was a 1 day a week one similar to mine.
Mari, as others have said, is there something you can do to stop yourself from going down?
Sarah, there must be some kind of better option/flexibility. Could you get a notetaker for the part of your timetable that clashes with the group?
I had an appt with my consultant this morning which went ok but I don't feel I was coming across as well as I should b/c I get nervous about these things. Despite the homeless problem and family stuff going on right now, I think I am coping fairly well with the odd 136 blip or so.
I had my 1st GCSE psychology lesson tonight. It was a get to know you and about the course session. I was physically shaking all the way through, I was really thinking about not going but I have to do this to get "better". To make matters worse, I bet the class think I am right weirdo as the tutor used crazy in a derogatory way to mean those with mental illness or criminal deviance and I pointed it out as inappropriate. I really wish I had kept my mouth closed.
Now I am dead anxious about my first 1 to 1 psychotherapy session tomorrow.
Sorry for such a long post all about me :(
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Yer i cant wait to go back and be with my friends, its been great working full time over the summer but i miss everyone.
GCSE psychology is really good Noreason (sorry i forgot your name). I did it and enjoyed it and made some great friends.
Cheryl remember you have all of us here for you!
Kitkat diffo check it out babe, it might help you.
xx
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
