struggling to start

over the rainbow · 13-09-2010, 07:06 PM

ive lately been slipping back into my ED habits. ive been restricting alot and exercising in an attempt to loose some weight.
However,i started college today and realised that on the little i eat,i wont be able to focus for a full day.
Im scared. I know i should probably try to turn things around,but its hard.once ive got into restricting,its hard to add in again.
its like a tug of war going on in my head. one side is saying 'restrict,loose weight' then the other is saying 'eat well and enjoy college' and i really dont know which path to choose.
help?

evfreak42 · 13-09-2010, 07:46 PM

Ugh. I know all too well what you're going through right now.

It's a great thing that you realized that having an eating disorder and enjoying and being successful in college can't happen at the same time - at least not for long. College is different from high school. You have to make the best out of it, otherwise your time and money are wasted.

Right now is the time to change your habits before they become so ingrained again that you are stuck. Without a doubt, choose college. You'll be happier that way. Plus, if you eat a healthy amount of food and exercise for 30 minutes 4 days a week, you'll look and feel great, and it will improve your ability to focus on schoolwork.

I know it can sometimes be easier said than done...but if you are smart enough to want to change your ways for school, you have the ability to do this. I have faith in you. :)

Good luck.

Siouxsie · 13-09-2010, 07:52 PM

It's damn hard, and I know restricting is such a hard thing to break free from doing, but college is so much more worth it. All restricting will do is cause you grief, you may get a temporary burst of euphoria from it but it won't last, and there are so many health implications as I'm sure you know.

It's good that you've realised that you won't be able to keep going on the amount you eat now. Could you make a list of the cons of engaging in ED behaviours to help remind you that they aren't worth it and look at it whenever you feel the urge to restrict or whatever? I don't know, it's just a suggestion but it's something that's helped me in the past.
Also could you talk to college/any professionals you're seeing about this? I'm sure they could help too.

Sorry I have no brilliant words right now, but take care of yourself love.
xxxx

over the rainbow · 13-09-2010, 09:07 PM

THank you so much,both of you.
What you said is so true.
evfreak42-you are right. i guess i cant have both.t give in to the ED voice and do well in college. i really want to do well. they have given me a chance by letting me do the higher level course,and i dont want to let them down by not being able to do the work. you are right too about changing now. the longer it goes on,the harder it gets. i cant get to the point i was a couple of years ago.
i have this opportunity and im not going to let it pass me by.
thanks love.

Zara-thanks hun.you are right too.that euphoria is good,but doesnt last. that gives me a buzz for a few moments but being at the college has put a smile on my face all day!
ive had so many health implications yes,and its not pleasent.
i may try a list of cons.thats a good idea.

thank you both.