Realising the addiction?

Onyx · 04-09-2010, 01:59 AM

Since deciding to stop a while ago, and realising how much I hurt my butterfly when I did I only have SI'd a few times. but what I didnt realise was the addiction.
from about wednesday I felt the need to SI and I didnt, and it didnt go away, on thursday I SI'd a little but not very much and the entire day I was fighting a mental breakdown, I was shaking rocking back and forth trying to keep my hands busy, I begain counting and ended up making one of my friends talk to me telling me jokes to distract myself from having a mental breakdown. I managed to keep that at bay and the SI then friday morning I could still feel it, I wrote this then
I can feel the addiction
spreading like fire
throught me
I feel it coursing through my blood
an unstoppable need
Tomorrow I still feel it
Til I satisfy its hunger.

I ended up giving in quite badly and felt so much better and have continued to feel better, I guess I just never realised how addictive it is and the craving you feel for it.

Any other thoughts on this? or addiction to anything else? or your own personal battles with it?

Fading-Away · 04-09-2010, 03:03 AM

They say it's not an addiction because there is no physiological need when you stop like with heroin, or alcohol but i disagree. When I don't cut my arms tingle like they need it and i crave the sight of blood. Yea before i started i would have never believed it was hard to stop.

yeadatonegurl · 04-09-2010, 03:46 AM

It took me forever to grasp this concept that cutting was an addiction. To me an addiction is anything you are willing to put above all else. And for cutting was that. At the worse i would have gladly spent all day in my room slicing away. Whether that meant i was missing out or something. Also i think it can be classified as an addiction for me because i had always thought i have this under control i can stop at anytime. Classic addiction statements in my book. But like any other addiction it can be broken if time and persistance is poured into. Even with slip ups it can be gained. Then again this is just my overblown two cents.

Celticroots · 04-09-2010, 04:27 AM

SI can become an addiction. When I first started, SI was all I thought about until I did it. I couldn't fall asleep and my mind would race. I couldn't concentrate on anything until after I'd cut. I also agree with the control aspect. It's scary how quickly cutting can get out of control.

That kind of died down for a while, but now it's back.

You aren't alone.

Imperfect.Star · 05-09-2010, 12:19 AM

My old psychiatrist wanted me to do an IP programme based around an addiction one. i refused for many reasons, one of which bring that I didn't want to be treated like an addict. Since then i've started to see what he meant about it being an addiction although I don't acknowledge that much.I guess its easy to deny that it is one when you aren't trying to quit because you don't get the hallmarks of addiction - withdrawal and cravings.

crazykat · 05-09-2010, 02:37 AM

I understand the whole addiction thing around self-harm. When we first start we don't realise how much of an addiction it can become. However saying this, addictions as powerful as they may seem can be broken. What is helpful is to look at the reasons why you might be self-harming.

UnIvErSaLoNe · 05-09-2010, 03:52 AM

The question we need to ask ourselves is what are we satisfying by this addiction? Everyone's is different yet related. Id be curious to hear your thoughts on that. I'm shaking tonight fighting the addiction. At present I can't answer my own question right now but I bet I can say tomorrow and when I can I will post it.

Sincerely,
Chris

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