poor self esteem

i have poor self esteem when anyone says something nice about me i have to put my self down or once i get self esteem i seem to shatter it by calling my self names like fat and ugly my husband is getting frustrated at me for doing this but i cant help it i feel so bad about myself all the time
i feel that any praise that should give myself i see as being big headed and vain of me doing it
how do i stop myself from doing this and how to give myself more self esteem

[PassedExpectations]

well i guess part of what you have to realise is that it really isn't polite to negate compliments... so you'll make the other person happy if you just say something simple to acknowledge it. you don't have to brag, just agree or smile.

and a quote i found a bit ago...

"I don't deserve this award, but i have arthritis and I don't deserve that either"- Jack Benny (no idea who that is though). I sorta use this to remind myself that we may not always think we deserve something, but its best to accept the good things we get with the bad things.

[plastic rose]

Feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem are often symptoms of clinical depression. Have you been feeling low in general? Are you losing interest in things you used to enjoy? Problems with concentration? Lack of energy? Changes in appetite? Any thoughts about harming yourself? If the answer to any of those is 'yes', and it's been going on for a while, you definitely should see a doctor.

Often self-bullying comes from deep-seated guilt and feelings of not being worthy of being happy, and therapy is the best way to figure out what caused it for you. But even if you aren't sure what made you feel this way, the important thing is that it's a very self-destructive pattern of behaviour and thinking. Acknowledging it is a great first step. Try to be more aware of when you're putting yourself down, and when you do catch yourself doing it, try writing down the negative thoughts about yourself. Then imagine that somebody you loved was feeling that way about themselves, what would you say to them? Practice telling yourself that you deserve happiness and compliments. Practice complimenting yourself. When you feel yourself focusing on the negative things about yourself, make a list of things that you like about yourself. Even if you can't think of anything at first, keep trying until you have a few.

These things take time, and you don't get over low self-esteem overnight, but gradually practicing being kind to yourself will make a big difference in the long term.

[Ethereal]

I have terrible self esteem, but I've found that when I do things I enjoy and I'm good at, I feel better.

You could write down one good thing about every time about you feel badly about yourself.

It might be helpful if you come up with a positive mantra and write down in heaps of places and say it over again. :D

something along the lines of " I am beautiful, and do not deserve negative thoughts." or, whatever you think would be helpful.

I have depression had it for years thank you for your replies i will try and do what you suggested