Contains sexual abuse - Want to abuse *myself*

[LuvableLyssie]

*TRIG GRAPHIC*

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I have never had sex but I really badly want to abuse myself with it. Because I have been touched up and sexually assulted when I didn't wanted so want to abuse myself further by having sex and making it hurt physically AND emotionally! I know I'm sounding sooo messed up in the head but I just wish someone would have sex with me just so I can hurt myself. I hate that I'm a virgin really despise it! I hate this... grrrrr

[Grrr....]

I'm sorry Lyssie... *hugs* I don't think having sex will help you Lyssie, and hurting yourself definately won't help you.. Hang in there. *hugs* If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me...

[LuvableLyssie]

Thanks Shorty, so much, it really helps that I have people to talk to about this! Thanks again x

[Embles]

hey sweetheart, I just wanted to pop in and say I've done this.
I was with a boyfriend for 6 months, who didnt treat me very nicely, and raped me.
I went back to sleep with him after breaking up, to get vodka, and to mess myself up emotionally, as I did with another man, and it ends very badly. I ended up thinking alot worse of myself than I thought possible, and I still feel very ashamed about it nearly 2 years on, even though at the time I thought it was a great idea because it would "hurt" me more.
He was also the man I lost my virginity to, and I regret sleeping with him now.
In a nutshell, it will hurt you very much, but it will still hurt you when you dont want it to, in a long time to come.
Your welcome to PM me and we can talk about this some more if you want.
Take care of yourself

[Opus.]

Hey honey, rushing in and losing your virginity isn't going to help you. Grrr and Boats&Birds have pretty much said everything. It's a bad idea, and you'll regret it. It's a memory that will stay with you forever. I know you feel like you want to hurt more - trust me, I understand what you're going through, but there are better ways to cope with things.

Hope you're okay
- Tre x

[LuvableLyssie]

Thank you so much for your messages. I just want to hurt myself so bad because that's what I deserve I really despise myself to say the least that's why I was put on a new antidepressant etc. I want to talk about how I feel! I might write down stuff for my CPN perhaps x

[Opus.]

You don't deserve to be hurt.
If you want to talk right now, I'm online.
I also think that writing stuff down for your CPN is a good idea.

[fragile as glass]

I 'allowed' myself to become involved with two men who were abusive towards me because the sexual abuse I had experienced as a child did not contain intercourse and as a result 'adults' did not take my problems as seriously as they would have if I had been raped so I always felt that I needed to 'finish the job off'. If only I knew then what I know now. These two men raped me and ridiculed me. They treated me like dirt and took the piss out of me all the time. Now I'm in the position where i've had 'everything' done to me now and all its done is screw my head up even more and left me more damaged. It wasn't the right way to do things but i knew no better back then. I can feel your desire to do what you want to do and I really really want to say to you not to do this, but sometimes, as humans, we wont learn from another person's mistakes, we insist on making our own.

Whatever you do, please remember that you are worth far more than getting yourself hurt. No-one deserves that, including you. If you need anything you can PM me anytime.

[iwantperfection]

darlin :( try councilling, will help a lot more! xxxxx