You're not barging in Sarah. Your needs are just as important as anyone elses here. I believe if Ian asked for forgiveness of his sins with a genuine heart before he died, then he is now in heaven, at peace and free of pain.
Thank you everyone so much for your replies.
Ian was very scared before he passed away, and he knew he was going to die, I'm hoping he made peace & I hope he's at rest, because he deserves it, even if he did commit a sin. :(
& I feel like I'm going to Hell now because of how much I abuse myself.
But sometimes it doesn't feel in my control.
How do you deal with that?
How do you cope with that?
Knowing it's a sin... knowing you could go to Hell for it...
I dunno.
I believe in the after life, for certain.
But I'm trying to figure out my religion & such.
But, I think I may go to Hell anyway.
Yikes, sorry for this ramble.
xx
if you're a catholic this pretty much stops it being a mortal sin, therefore no hell. also suicide is generally seen as a very sticky one because so often even if mental illness isn't involved it's rarely done in a good state of mind. God wouldn't punish someone for suffering. but that doesn't mean suicide isn't serious or a bad thing.
Ummm... I'm really scared. And I don't know what I'm gonna do about uni. I've been telling myself for 2 years I'll get better on my own then go if I can't at the end of uni. But... I'm at the point where in between my SI and ED I'm not gonna be able to wait. So it's something I need.
"Life is easy to chronicle, but bewildering to practice."-- E.M. Forster
i think it's really good you're going for help. it's very hard to recover from SI/ED by yourself. have you spoken to your tutor about it (or whoever your go-to person is)?
I'm praying for you misskitty!!! I hope it all works out!!! Just know that not only are we all here for you, God is there for you. He will never leave your side. Maybe it's a good thing that you are going to this Christian center, because then you can get better mentally, physically, and spiritually. And uni will always wait. You're never too old to go back!!!
BrokenBlossom: I know how you feel about going to Hell for the SI, and thre are def times I believe that too. But then, there are also times that I believe since God is soforgiving, He'll forgive me for what I do to my body. I know it's a sin, and that out bodies are supposed o be temples, but haven't temples been destroyed too??? With fire, burglary, vandalism, etc...
Solo: I was praying for your docs appt. How did it go???
It was with my gp. I was really nervous because she knows about my SI because my former supporter went to an appointment with me last year and made me tell her. I was really afraid of what would happen when she found out that I'm still doing it. She didn't even ask me about it. She mentioned my anxiety, but nothing about my depression or SI issues. If she wasn't going to bring it up, I wasn't. The problem is that she's really concerned that some symptoms I have sound like pre-uterin cancer and I've had these sypmptoms for a long time. She's ordered all kinds of bloodwork and an ultrasound. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm still trying to pay the bill from my last labs.
How do you feel about your doc not bringing up your SI or depression??? I know I personally would have mixed feelings about it-relief that I didn't have to talk about it, but disappointment that she didn't acknowledge it... But that's just me!!! How do you feel about it???
I'm really sorry to hear about the possible cancer (key word being possible!!!) You have to think positive, though. Research has shown that people with a positive outlook end up getting over illnesses much quicker than those with negative outlooks... Also, you need to pray!!! Pray hard!!! And know that I will be praying, too. I will pray for God to keep you strong and healthy. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you...
I do have mixed feelings. I am relieved, but really surprised! I mean, seriously, how does that not come up? She had put me on anti-depressants and doubled them a couple times over, had me on a heart monitor and medicatioin for that, pain and sleeping pills and recommended counseling. All do to my anxiety, depression and seeing and talking about all of my scars. I've taken myself off of all meds accept my thyroid med. and have not seen a counseler. You would think she would be very concerned about how that's going and would want to know if I'm still SIing. I don't know what to think because I've been seeing her for years, before I started SI. I've always really liked her, and felt that she was very caring and thorough. She was still very caring, but thorough? Not so much!
About the bloodwork and ultrasound. There are the obvious fears that make me want to say that I'm fine and don't need them. Besides that, we've had a lot of financial problems and are just getting back on our feet. The expense scares me! We're in the process of filing bankruptsy, but haven't been able to come up with the money to pay the lawyer and therefore haven't officially filed yet. Would it be aweful, if it's even possible, to wait to file until after the tests and include them? I really appreciate your prayers for guidance and strength. I'm praying for you too.
I don't know much about filing for bankruptcy or finding a lawyer, but couldn't you get someone that works for the county??? I know they have public defenders around here, not sure if they'd help with filing bankruptcy, though... But I'm sure you could find someone that the county would help pay for... And I wouldn't worry about including the tests in the bankruptcy... I'd do the same thing!!! lol
Our lawyer already has all of our information. We've already gone through the credit counseling etc. Everything is done. He just can't go ahead and officially file until he receives the $. I'll have to check with him to see if we can still add anything.
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