If you'd like any research done before you arrive, let me know. I live virtually 'next door' to Camden borough, and am a member of Camden libraries. [As well as my own borough of course, lol!]
katie- you not wors persin on plnit. Katrina jus bes kina lik sadie an bes mad at evriting in hole world and I gess tat bes ok. it wil bes ok i tink. lovs you*hug* Sarah
Genuine question here, I don't know a huge amount about DID, and have no "live" experience of it, so please understand that this is not meant to be offensive in any way, it is genuine curiosity on my part.
A lot of sufferers "name" their "other" one inside them. Now, to a non-expert like me, that seems like it could be counter-productive - it seems to be a way of validating their um.. right(?) to exist as a separate entity (I'm not sure that's the correct way of putting it, hopefully you understand what I mean, though.) It sort of seems that to name them is to give them legitimate space in your life when in reality you are trying to get rid of them.
I guess what I am trying to ask is: why do you name them? Is it something that just comes out of your character, or is it a recognised/approved way of dealing with the issue? If it's recognised, how does it work?
Again, I'd like to emphasise that I am aware of my ignorance on this, and no offence is meant to anyone here... but you don't remove the ignorance without asking the question, right? :)
Thanks for any answers you've got, really appreciate the education <3
I agree with katie.. sound a bit depressed hon. just try your best to take care of yourself(selves). about the new meds.. if you go to the webmd website.. it has an area where you can put in the medication name and find out what it is for.. if you want.
i didnt name my other two. sadie made herself known having her name. Sarah, at first, didnt have a name until she got mad at me for trying to throw her in the closet ( which was prolly a bad idea,but i was confused and scared and frustrated then) and then she chose her name because she didnt want to be "identified" as me anymore. i did at the time, debate over allowing her to have her name.
i decided it was ok. where it validated her to becoe more separate have more of her own identity or not, im not sure as i dontknow what would have happened if i had decided agianst it.
i guess you could be right, but honestly, im not sure. it may have made things even worse or maybe i would be more "normal" now. i honestly dont know.
Thank you for taking my post as it was meant, I was a bit worried about posting it, tbh! But in the end decided I'd rather be informed than remain ignorant on it.
I suppose the idea that they named themselves didn't really occur to me at the time. If they do that themselves, I guess it's no more a validation of their existence than them just "being there". If that makes any sense... again, thank you for answering <3
Thing is, self states cannot be gotten rid of. At least, this is what my therapist has said about my 'Others' - and technically I don't have DID, so.
They will always be present within me, it's nurturing my capable, reflective, containing, compassionate self around them understanding them more so that they have less destructive impact on my life.
If I didn't name them, it would be my Shadow and my Inner Child. Much less easier to relate as names. They are part of me, but they are not 'me'. They are encapsulated emotional states that take over my body and mind when "triggered", and have their own interpretations of my life, self, others, feelings, situations.
In both cases - Katrina and Trini/Rin - the names are derivations of my birth names, and, also because Katrina was the name of one of the girls who bullied me and that state in me she's named after can also be a bully... it made sense. Trini/Rin, well, it's just a diminutive of myself, which is what that state does to me - make me emotionally [and feel physically] smaller than I am.
Ah, OK. I was under the impression that through treatment (in some cases, I understand it's similar to other mental health problems where there is a low "cure" rate) some people could integrate the "others" into manageable facets of their personality, so they are no longer separate. The idea of naming them makes more sense, on the basis that they can't be "got rid of". Thank you :)
right, katie. just as Iknow that sarah and sadie are parts of me.. they are me.. but well sarah is my safety .. she is young but i feel safe when she is out for the mostly part. Sadie is my angry side.. the side ..ive never been able to express and act on.. due to worries and anxieties.. only.. sadie doesnt care.. i dohave some control over her tho and can keep her from saying thingsi know will get us in trouble somehow.. which she super hates.. then her anger usually turns on me instead. kinda a no win situation i supposse. Hiding
How can there be 'cure' for what was caused by trauma and grief of a particular kind? ... is the way I see it.
One carries one's wounds with respect and tenderness as best one can.
moke- * psych student mode haha* they can be intergrated to a degree in many cases, but it has to/should be a decision made by all parts. and ..well..persoanally, even before my other 2 emerged to be known, i was never a fan of integration.. however, with integration they still are not truly "gone" since...honestly.. they are and always have been different aspects of the same person's personality, but in many cases, the decision to integrate is not agreed on by all so the best plan for improvement is to learn to communicate and cooperate.
it is just something tha the entire system must agree on.. they deserve that much respect..just as the orignal person does.
Well, not a cure per se, that was probably the wrong term. But my (probably misguided - hence why I'm asking the question) assumption was that, as not all people who suffer trauma and grief end up with DID, there is a way for people WITH DID to "train" themselves to remove those internal partitions, allowing them to deal with the grief in a more controlled manner. It's not a cure, but a way of learning a different coping strategy that is perhaps less difficult to deal with for the individual. But... if that's not possible, I got it wrong and it's a moot point anyway :)
moke- * psych student mode haha* they can be intergrated to a degree in many cases, but it has to/should be a decision made by all parts. and ..well..persoanally, even before my other 2 emerged to be known, i was never a fan of integration.. however, with integration they still are not truly "gone" since...honestly.. they are and always have been different aspects of the same person's personality, but in many cases, the decision to integrate is not agreed on by all so the best plan for improvement is to learn to communicate and cooperate.
it is just something tha the entire system must agree on.. they deserve that much respect..just as the orignal person does.
Hiding
Right. I think that clarifies my last post a little more. I think I understand a little better now - regarding my original post, if the ultimate aim isn't total integration but rather acceptance, naming them seems to be a good idea in a lot of ways. Thanks guys, I appreciate the input <3
Well, yeah, removing partitions and growing in awareness is important, and a part of it. And it can be chaotic and messy.
As I said, I don't have DID, but I do have a partitioned personality with a system developed in response to trauma, with 'switches' and other things in the 'package'..
Try to remember that these coping strategies began when a child was very very young. Mine, although this is controversial for some, began with my birth trauma and consequent attachment trauma. Despite what some people, Janov etc say, you just can't go and fix that, you just can't go back.
I, personally, think the whole CBT culture has caused many people to believe that everything can and should be fixed and cured and made perfect, ideal again. And true, many survivors of childhood abuse have that hope too. But the reality is always more complex.
My pain carries part of me, and is like compost for growth.
*agrees with katie* everyone responds and percieves situations and abuse differently and therefore it affects them differently.. not everyone can be "cured" in the same manner.
Stellata - how is a partitioned personality different to DID? (again, being curious - forgive me and tell me to bugger off if you don't want to talk about it :D)
Hiding - and yea, I wasn't suggesting everyone can be "cured" or even responds the same way, on reading back I realise it did sound a bit like I was saying that! I just sort of assumed it was possible for some (albeit probably a minority) people to assimilate "everyone" into one single person. I didn't realise the treatment method took this approach. I feel like I've learnt something today, which is a good feeling :)
I don't lose time. I haven't been 'abused enough or in the "right" way'. No one's ever diagnosed me with it. Basically!
Whichsoever, it's a trauma-abuse defence system that has 'passed it's use by date' as it were.
Moke - all my alters named themselves and made their names known to me by carving their names into my skin.
The important thing to remember is that they are not different "people", they are different identities that hold different things, and their existence was necessary for survival. So to say that someone with DID could "train" themselves to deal with grief in a more controlled manner is quite frankly ridiculous. Media portrays people with DID as out of control and just freaking out all over the place, when really it's a secretive thing and mostly is barely noticeable.
Alright, so I just woke up and stuff, but wanted to reply. Maybe I'll make more sense later.
no problem. it took me along time to learn too and iam still learning.. but I will honestly tell you.. concerning DID or and dissociative disorders is best learnd from those who experience it because everyone experiences it differently. no one is exactly the same due to perceptions, coping abilities and the traumas that have caused it. so IMO and from my experience.. i t is best to learn from those who experience these things.. just as with any mental disorder i suposse.. books are ok sometimes.. not all.. textbooks are too general and classified but books written by those who experience these things are good.
If I may respond on your question for katie..
as ive said not everyone's trauma that has caused their dissociation is the same. DID is usually caused by long term abuse (usually physical, emoitional and/or sexual) at a very young age.
I hope to find out a dx for me this weekend *terrifying* my trauma.. some was a difficut birth.. which i do not believe had much of an impression on my dissociation but i guess could have. i did have some SA as a child when I was 8 but again..i dont think that is the main cause (it may have started it all, but since we cant remember it..) most my abuse that i think had a huge influuence on my current state occurred in young adulthood (19 yo- 27yo) which would be very very rare for being the single cause for disociation.
these facts cause my all confusion and denial issues with my issues.
but i am hoping to get some ansers this weekend.. Hiding *hope I made sense there*
