Hey
This may have been good in the GSA section, or maybe even a good stickied article at the top of this section... but it certianly isn't a silly question to ask!
I've always believed that to stop self harming, it is something that *you* have to want. It's OK to stop for someone else as well, but remember you are the person that has been using it as a coping mechanism and you are the person who will be dealing with the urges. Therefore if you don't want to stop, you will find it very hard, find yourself perhaps slipping up... then feeling guilty, no only for you but for the person you tried to stop for. It does take a lot of will power and determination, a lot of effort and a lot of courage sometimes to try something else, instead of what you have come to know works in the short term. Whilst I agree that it may mask the feelings, whatever they are, for a while... it certainly doesn't make them go away. Ultimately I believe that you have to have the right mentality.
Stopping the feelings of wanting to SH? Well as cliche as it sounds, I think that 9 times out of 10 people use self harm as a way of coping with some other issue. Whether that is flashbacks, bringing themselves back to reality, or using it as a distraction from other thoughts. Therefore I think that to stop the urges, you need to deal with the issue... in the case of flashbacks, what you are having flashbacks about. I'm certianly not saying that is always easy, but if you don't deal with the key issues, it's more difficult [although not impossible] to deal with the secondary/tertiary effects. Do take a look at the
Self Harm section of the main site as it does have articles about preparing to stop, staying stopped, etc.
I would find it hard to believe that it would be the only thing in the world that you enjoy doing, even if it is something simple like watching your favourite film, coming on the internet, cooking cookies... anything. However, if you look at why you enjoy self harming... you may find an alternative way of replicating those feelings. If it is the addictive adrenaline rush you seek, there are other sports and activites you can do that give you that kick.
So decide that it's really what you want to do, make sure that you have other coping mechanisms in place [smokers trying to give up do a smiliar thing] and these can be anything from professional help to really address the triggering issues, to knowing about the elastic back/ice alternative to writing thoughts and feelings down. Then persevere with it, use your support avenues and don't be disheartened if it isn't always a smooth ride. It's a door you have unlocked and can't lock again, only chose not to walk through there again.
Good luck whenever you chose to give it a go.
Take care,
Chloe x
