I was completely and utterly in love with my boyfriend of a year and a half, I went on a girly holiday and stayed faithful and was really excited about coming home to see my boyfriend. I got to his house...and he broke up with me.
He said he just doesn't feel the same any more, that he's fallen out of love with me. But I'm still head over heals in love, and I wasn't expecting this at all, he's my best friend and he got me through my depression and eating disorder and by him loving me I was able to love myself.
I'm in such a state, I miss him so much, I miss how entirely happy the past 18 months with him have been.
Out of sheer desperation I got him to agree to see if we could work at our relationship and at the time I was so happy to be in his arms...But now? I don't feel any better because knowing he doesn't love me anymore just, I just can't do it.
He says he really wants to be in love with me, and he really wishes he was.
I just don't know what to do with myself, the biggest most important part of my life has suddenly been taken away and I didn't even see it coming....
Help?
just because you've forgotten doesn't mean you're forgiven
If he has ended the relationship then the best thing for you to do is think "okay, It was great while it lasted, I have lots of great memories and it made me feel better about myself but its time to move on to something new".
Just because he says he has fallen out of love with you don't take it as something against you. People change, he may ave just changed himself and just isn't in the same place he was before when you two were happy together. The fact that he says he wishes he did love you shows that he does care about you and should suggest it isn't your fault in any way but rather he has changed and his feelings have changed and are beyond his control.
Don't depress yourself thinking what could have been. Think of what can be now. What you can do different. What you have learned and gained. Be positive and keep yourself busy. Move on and don't dwell on the past. I know it is easier said then done but it can be done and it isn't the end of the world. Infact its not the end of anything. Its just the start of a different chapter in your life so embrace it and enjoy yourself.
sorry to hear about your situation however, i'm sure a lot of us have been in your spot before in life. this type of thing will take time for you to process unfortunately. :(
Firstly - deep breaths. Take care of yourself. You now have the opportunity to be completely selfish and completely independent. You can do what you want, you can be who you want to be. Do things you want to, see things you want to see. One of the best things that I did when my boyfriend broke up with me is trying things out - I changed my usual routine and tried out clothes and places and experiences that I hadn't done. The change was really positive, and allowed me to move on in my own time and in my own way, and to form my own new and independent memories.
Quote:
Originally Posted by smophy
Don't depress yourself thinking what could have been. Think of what can be now. What you can do different. What you have learned and gained. Be positive and keep yourself busy. Move on and don't dwell on the past. I know it is easier said then done but it can be done and it isn't the end of the world. Infact its not the end of anything. Its just the start of a different chapter in your life so embrace it and enjoy yourself.
This is absolutely fantastic advice.
Take care of yourself, lovely - your recovery was down to you, and the boyfriend was an extra help. You were ultimately the one who recovered. You are strong and amazing and look how far you've come - you can overcome this, too. It may take time and it may not be easy, but you are strong and beautiful and you can take this in your stride, darling.
xx
Give yourself some space from him.
He helped you but your happiness should always come from yourself.
be kind to yourself & maybe in a few months speak to him on a friend basis, because i think anything more at this time may just encourage you to believe in reconciling the relationship.
Out of sheer desperation I got him to agree to see if we could work at our relationship and at the time I was so happy to be in his arms...But now? I don't feel any better because knowing he doesn't love me anymore just, I just can't do it.
No don't act from desperation. I'm betting you were taken for granted and that would continue if you act from desperation. Guys think they love a girl when really they often love most the way the girl makes them feel - which generally has more to do with getting the attentions of a pretty girl than any enthusiasm for the girl as a person.
Since the exciting and distracting part of relationships always begins to decline people can start to wander. Love is what remains after all the sensational stuff. Being able to love people beyond that part takes some maturity and substance. If bf says he doesn't love you now that is probably more telling about him than about you so don't despair thinking your not lovable or something like that.
Guys spoil really easy. If you give them everything they want they start to take liberties and minimize your worth to them while feeling challenged to make other conquests so to speak. If your not desperate or angry and take things in stride that actually makes the dummies wonder if they made a mistake. Your a very pretty and vivacious sort and your best days are still ahead so don't despair too much - and don't keep this fellow on a pedestal - that was a mistake
Hi I'm really sorry to hear about your break up... Trust me I no how it feels so I complelty sympathise with you. I'm not gonna go on about my relationship problems but I just wanted you to no, I understand what your going through, it's in no way easy and the pain of losing someone so close to you, close enough for him to be your best friend isnt easy...
Right now it doesnt matter what anyone says, it's how you get through it that matter's. My suggestions is take a few days to yourself but not completly isolating yourself, get a few girl friends round for a good old girly session and a good rant... dont look back on old memories as this will bring you down even more, think of what your going to achieve as a independant women, watch Tyra Banks for some good women inspiration!
I know this is useless information now but keep your chin up or a good quote I heard that got me through it "Keep your head up gorgeous, they'd kill to see you fall"
xx
Each tear drop falls with sorrow, hoping and praying for another tomorrow!
