I had a session with a new psychiatrist Saturday, and I told him that I ODed Monday, but hadn't gone to the ER.
He told my mom to take me.
He thought that I should go back to inpatient and then residential, or at least outpatient therapy, which I haven't been to in about a month.
He said I was an acute suicide risk.
He wrote a note that my mom was SUPPOSED to give to the doctor in the ER, but I doubt she did.
That said what happened, and that I shouldn't go home, since the psychiatrist thought being there--because of my dad--wouldn't help.
The doctor in the ER said 'twas too late for them to do anything, since five days had passed since I ODed.
They checked my blood and sent me home.
The doctor said I was attention seeking and that was typed out on the discharge papers.
He said that was an EMERGENCY, but sent me home without even having a psychiatrist talk to me in the ER.
I don't know if that's because we have no psych insurance left, since I already used that all, or what.
But even still, if that's that much of an emergency, that shouldn't matter, should that?
So how f*cked up am I?
I'm COMPLETELY confused by that.
And, I apparently lost about three pounds since July, though I would have sworn that I'd been eating too much.
I'm kind of obsessed with the fact that my BMI is now 18.6 or 18.7 which is considered "normal," though that had before been 18.4, which is either "normal" or "underweight"--they weighed me in the ER, and I weigh about 89.5 pounds--I'm like 4'9 1/2" or 4'10".
I want to take the razor my younger brother must have forgotten to put back in his safe, take that apart, and do what must be done (though they'd know I took that, if and/or when that was discovered missing--'tis almost worth that risk, maybe actually worth that)....:[
The doctor from the ER should hang out with my dad.
Since they both think I'm trying to get attention.
My dad has said that SI is just a trend, like anorexia and bulimia, and that my wanting to die is just "teen angst".
He's also said that I should be locked up with the key thrown away.
And I have NO clue if he's coming back tonight.
Last night, after taking my younger siblings out for food for the second day in a row, he either didn't come in or did but left and went god knows where.
All is understood too late.
Last Suicide Attempt: Sunday, September 30th, 2007 (my dirty little secret).
You're going through a lot take some time to chill out.
It is good you told someone next time try to go the ER sooner. I know the feeling with doctors. They don't understand Self-Harm or suicide attempts because they don't deal with it as often as other physical non-mental problems that you can see.
You can get a rit from a court to have insurance for in-patient or otherwise. It does involve a court appearance. I don't know the circumstances I just know that is what they were going to do for me.
Self-harm, anorexia, bulimia, suicide is NOT just a trend. It is a problem. People don't accept that sometimes, I know it is hard but that is their problem. They don't know your mind or what you've been through only you know how you feel.
Cutting will only post-pone what you will sooner or later have to deal with. I know it doesn't seem that way now but the after effects can be the worst.
Sorry if this wasn't what you wanted as a reply. I tried.
Good Luck.
The Thing We Fear Most, Is What We Want Most
I Will Learn To Fly High Above This World
You're going through a lot take some time to chill out.
It is good you told someone next time try to go the ER sooner. I know the feeling with doctors. They don't understand Self-Harm or suicide attempts because they don't deal with it as often as other physical non-mental problems that you can see.
You can get a rit from a court to have insurance for in-patient or otherwise. It does involve a court appearance. I don't know the circumstances I just know that is what they were going to do for me.
Self-harm, anorexia, bulimia, suicide is NOT just a trend. It is a problem. People don't accept that sometimes, I know it is hard but that is their problem. They don't know your mind or what you've been through only you know how you feel.
Cutting will only post-pone what you will sooner or later have to deal with. I know it doesn't seem that way now but the after effects can be the worst.
Sorry if this wasn't what you wanted as a reply. I tried.
Good Luck.
Thanks.
I know they aren't trends, trust me.
I don't think my mom wants me going, hence why I doubt she gave the ER doctor the note.
Cutting not helping in the long run is logical, and logic is kind of beyond me/doesn't really help right now.
All is understood too late.
Last Suicide Attempt: Sunday, September 30th, 2007 (my dirty little secret).
