is it ok to miss self injury?

[VanityStar]

Look, i've been through a lot lately.
homeless, jobless, relationships destroyed (3 years wasted), friendships lost.... its nothing major, really... its just a bunch of little things eating me the fuick alive.

alot of it is staying back at my dads... i havent cut since i moved out over 3 years ago. but now everything here reminds me of it. i'm just kind of depressed. feeling sorry for myself, really.

but i did this all to myself.

i know i wont do it. i couldnt cut now if i wanted to, i'd be so afraidi'd barely scratch... and i know that the extent doesnt matter... but it would to me. whatever. that barely made sense.

but i picture it in my head all day. not all day. but alot. how it would feel. but somehow i feel less recovered, just having these thoughts.

& i know that i must not be the only one. other people must feel this way when they go through a rough patch & i know i wont do it. really, i do. but if i dream about it.... is it only a matter of time?

-Vanity

[revenge]

i think i know how you feel..
i havent been free for as long as you, about 3 months for me..
but i do miss it,
and the same as you, i think i would be too scared to actually do it.

but i think thats a good thing though, because hopefully that will stop us cutting again..

its wierd actually..what you've written is so familiar its scary..
whenever i go through a rough patch, cutting is always the first thing i think of, whenever i get angry or depressed or anything..

i think hopefully it will eventually stop, until i don't think about it at all..
and im sure it will for you too, one day, maybe when you don't have a lot of things going on your life..
i hope so anyway =]

sarah
xx

[*broken*wings*]

I must say that what you wrote is sooo familiar to me. i have been si free for a little over a year now, but lately i've been stressed and i have been thinking about it almost everyday. n ot just thinking about the subject, but thinking about picking up the habit again. it is scary, but i think it is jsut part of the process, as sara said. i think, for all of us, with time those feelings of wanting to revert back, will eventually fade away. the temptaions, however, when we are under pressures, will always be there i think. almost eveerything you have been saying rings true to me, and i think many others. my advice would b e to keep on trucking and keep yourself busy with other things, writing, singing drawing, whatever helped you to recover.
luvz and hugs
emz

[VanityStar]

thanx, guys.
at least i know that i'm not alone in feeling this way.

i know that once i start working again, & move out again next month, & have money... and not so much damn time on my hands, i'm sure i'll feel better. stop dwelling on it, atleast.

but for now its good to know i'm not alone.
Spanx.

-Vanity