Possibly Triggering - Chasing a dream

[Life and Lies]

Hey everyone,

I sent PMs to loads of people who were camped out on the sofa in my other thread, but I'm bound to have missed people, so I'll start my new thread with an explanation.

I'm sorry I left without any explanaitions, I didnt even know at the time I wasnt coming back, but then I made the decision to cut out certain things in order to move on.

I took a year out from here to sort my head out. This place was my lifeline for years, but in the end, I was stuck in a pattern and I needed something new. I got my head together, and started on a new phase in my life, and for the first time in a long time, I am truly happy, I have plans, I can see a future, and it looks good.

Because of this, I dont feel ready to pick up (Once a Liar...) again just yet. It is too closely linked to that part of my life, and I dont want to go tearing those wounds open again. Maybe one day, when I've moved on a bit more, I will come back to it.

So I have a new offering for you. I put a triggering warning on it because it is likely to mention S/H, abuse, and particularly EDs, but it will be a story of a new life, of dreams, hopes and love, but hopefully you will love it just as much as my other story, maybe even more. I've learned a lot about myself in the last year, and I hope this shows through.

I'll post the first chapter tomorrow, I have to sleep now.

Thank you for all the support, and the amazing amounts of love I feel from you all.

Kate
xxxxxxxxxx

[Life and Lies]

This thread doesnt seem to be showing up in the CC :S

*edit* I can see it on my iPhone but not on my laptop. Weird :/

[88shelz]

the title seems encouraging

[lozza]

anything you write I'm sure will be very good:)
glad your back and feeling better, cant wait to read your updates

am always a pm away if you wana chat xx

[crazykat]

Look forward to seeing your new story :)

[Life and Lies]

Hey everyone,
A bit different before, but like I said, i'm in a different headspace now. If you dont like it, let me know, and I'll take a look at the other one again instead. Anyway, hope you all enjoy.

Chapter One- A New Beginning.
I threw my pen on the desk, finally done. It had taken me almost three hours to complete a task I thought would only take ten minutes. I thought it would be simple. One hundred goals, one hundred things I want to see, things I want to experience, things I want to do to make my life better.
But actually, it was harder than I imagined. Sure, these things always sound easy when they pop into your head, but actually writing them down and doing something about them is that bit harder. Once, I would have just laughed it off, given up within the first five minutes, but I’m not that person any more. I don’t let things just pass me by. Once I just lived in my room, mourning the life I used to have, the happy, carefree childhood, the loving family, the desire to do something with my life. I used to have ambitions, hopes, dreams, and a burning desire to accomplish anything I set my mind to. But at some point that path was hidden from me. It was always there, those people were always there, but at the time I couldn’t see it, couldn’t see how I was tearing my family apart, how I was tearing myself apart.
I fell in with the wrong crowd at school. Don’t get me wrong, they were amazing people, clever, funny, supportive. They didn’t drugs, at the time they didn’t drink, we went to the cinema and had sleepovers and made shadow puppets on the ceiling until 2am. They loved me for who I was, and for the first time, I felt accepted. But really, instead of accepting me for who I was, they changed me into the person they wanted me to be. I watched myself become the type of person I always used to pity. A thief, a liar, a failure. I always loved school, but then I started getting lower and lower grades. I didn’t listen in lessons. I didn’t do my work in class. I went home every night and studied, trying to catch up with the work I missed, and then do my homework on top, but inevitably it started to slip away from me. People started to catch a glimpse of the real me behind the carefully crafted mask I hid behind.
One day, I got a wake-up call. I don’t even remember what it was, such an important moment in my life and it’s just been lost somewhere along the way. Maybe it’s for the best. So many of my memories are gone, but to be honest, I don’t want to remember the person that I was. I’ve come through that time, and I no longer see those people, I’ve made decisions that are going to change my life and I refuse to look back.
No more procrastinating. No more waiting in my room for someone to change my life for me. In this life, the only person who can change my life is me. Every morning I used to look in the mirror and hate what I saw. Even these days I don’t see perfection, but I see hope. I see a path forward, even if it isn’t the path I saw five years ago. I’ve changed, my life has changed, and I’ve become a different person.
So today, I wrote my bucket list. A list of 100 things I want to do before I die. Some of them might not seem like much to most people, some of them are almost unachievable, but the point is I have goals. Something to aim for, something to make my life better.
Here it is:
Sport

1. Run 1 mile
2. Run 10k
3. Run a half marathon
4. Run a marathon
5. Learn to ice skate
6. Learn to play tennis
7. Learn to water ski
8. Learn to sail a yacht
9. Learn to surf

Languages

10. Learn Welsh
11. Learn French

Music and Dance

12. Learn to play piano
13. Learn to play guitar
14. Take a belly dance class.

Extreme experiences

15. Ride in a hot air balloon
16. Go paragliding
17. Go skydiving
18. Go scuba diving
19. Walk across hot coals
20. Go bungee jumping
21. Go white water rafting
22. Learn to fly a plane
23. Take a canopy tour
24. Go in an anti-gravity chamber

Places to Visit

25. Go to Times Square on New Year’s Eve
26. Swim in the worlds largest swimming pool
27. Watch a rocket launch live
28. Visit the Grand Canyon
29. Visit Victoria Falls
30. Float in the Dead Sea
31. Watch the Aurora Borealis
32. Stand on a free-floating iceberg
33. Visit the great barrier reef
34. Visit the Galapagos Islands
35. Drive through all 50 states of America
36. Waikiki Beach, Oahu, Hawaii

Festivals

37. The National Cherry Blossom Festival, Washington, DC
38. The Brazilian Carnival, Rio de Janerio
39. Mardi Gras, New Orleans
40. Day of the Dead, Mexico
41. Loy Krathong, the sky lantern festival in Thailand
42. Carnival in Venice, Italy
43. Macy’s thanksgiving parade, New York

Books

44. Write a list of 100 books I want to read
45. Read the complete works of Shakespeare
46. Read every Sherlock Holmes novel
47. Read ‘War and Peace’
48. Read ‘On the Origin of Species’
49. Read every novel that has won a Pulitzer Prize in the Fiction Category

Films

50. Write a list of 100 films I want to watch
51. Watch every movie that has won an Academy Award for Best Picture

Things to Learn

52. Learn to play poker
53. Learn to play pool
54. Learn to drive
55. Learn to drive a motorbike

Self Improvement

56. Reach a healthy BMI.
57. Go on a wilderness trek
58. Become an early riser
59. Do something selfless for someone else
60. Make a difference in someone’s life
61. Work for Camp America
62. Spend a week at a silent retreat
63. Take up Tai Chi
64. Take up Yoga
65. Start a blog

Education

66. Finish high school
67. Pass my A-levels
68. Get a 2:1 in my degree
69. Get a PHD

Contributions to the World

70. Raise £1,000,000 for charity
71. Build a Habitat for Humanity home
72. Donate blood

Family and Love

73. Fall in love
74. Get married
75. Adopt a child
76. Adopt a second child
77. Tell one member of my family I love them every day.

The High Life

78. Buy something at Harrods
79. Own a yacht
80. Build my own home.
81. Own a Beach House
82. Spend a week at a 5* spa
83. Have ‘High Tea’ at the Plaza Hotel in New York

Work and Career

84. Be recognised as an authority in my field
85. Be world renowned in my field
86. Make a valuable contribution to my field
87. Open my own business
88. Lecture at a university

Animals

89. Swim with sharks
90. Swim with dolphins
91. Swim with manatees
92. Watch turtles hatch and run for the ocean
93. Own an aquarium
94. Go whale watching
95. Cuddle a koala
96. See a duck-billed platypus
97. Go on safari
98. See gorillas in the wild
99. See orang-utans in the wild


100. Be happy with myself!

[crazykat]

I really like this

[lozza]

omg wow this is really good hun:)
I think I'll be loving this story too!!!

[The Stolen One]

I'm liking :)

[silverfaerychild]

this is good