O-o oh dear!ive realised recently and even more so after this that i use these terms quite a lot now!!So im probably one of those people who can really annoy others on RYL who dont like it!
i think its interesting ive become this way - and possibly overuse the terms.i never used to like this kind of language myself years ago [though often felt a need to feel cared for by others and this sometimes helped] but a long time ago i used another website and it was pretty much every other word that something like that may be used.
Again i think it was perhaps just people trying to be kind but it has rubbed off on me! Not that i totally blame one website for i am now though of course lol.It just sprang to mind.
When i think about why i use this type of language/why i may have come to use it so much i guess also [and i realise maybe this is a bad thing] sometimes i may be using it when im not sure what else to say but want the person to feel cared for.And im sorry if this is wrong or makes people feel the opposite etc!Heck thats the last thing i want.
Thanks for bringing this up.It has made me more aware of it!
And im sorry to any of those i may have made to feel uncomfortable without meaning too.
i'll try and be more careful!
I get what you mean about using it to make people feel cared about etc but overuse of words like that just dilutes the meaning of it in the end, if it's used all the time. It's like when people use the word love all the time. They obviously don't mean it in the true sense of the word every time so then on the odd occasion when they do mean it, it mightn't even be taken seriously.
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
Is this just a bitch and whine thread or something?
I wouldn't say so; more, somebody raising something quite common on RYL and expressing how it makes them feel uncomfortable, then people discussing possible solutions. Pretty much one of the main functions of F&CQ, really.
If you do think it's crossing a line, though, you could report it to the mods.
I wouldn't say so; more, somebody raising something quite common on RYL and expressing how it makes them feel uncomfortable, then people discussing possible solutions. Pretty much one of the main functions of F&CQ, really.
Thank you. That's what I was trying to do, not just stir up trouble or whinge or something.
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
I can see how it can be patronising in certain contexts. However, I use words like "lovely" and "sweetheart" and I certainly don't mean to patronise anyone, and I apologise if I have. I use them in real life all the time as well. It's just a natural thing for me to, as a way of showing affection.
Clearly in a setting such as this one no one is trying to be patronising. It's difficult to convey emotion through text. That's why emoticons, actions (*hug*), and cutesy names can aid a person in expressing their feelings. That said, I can understand how overuse could be tiresome.
Last edited by Asura : 10-06-2010 at 05:19 AM.
Nous avons abrité tous les rêves du monde,
Et c'est dans le soleil que nous avons grandi.
Clearly in a setting such as this one no one is trying to be patronising. It's difficult to convey emotion through text. That's why emoticons, actions (*hug*), and cutesy names can aid a person in expressing their feelings. That said, I can understand how overuse could be tiresome.
How can you say that clearly no one here is going to be patronising?
Of course they are, if you have a large amount of people communicating anywhere, in any form, someone will be patronising at some point along the way!
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
Well...I'll try and remember which people dont like it, but really....not going to change the way I talk and if people think Im patronising thats ok with me :D xx
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Hahaha i am one of those really annoying people this threads about! I admitt i do do the whole ("hun" "sweety" and *hugs*), Its not intended in a patronising way, far from it! Hahaha and in 'real life' i use these words all the time, they're just second nature to me!
However after seeing people opinions on this thread i can see it from others view points and can understand why they dont like the use of them. Will definatly think more about what im saying when replying to posts.
After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Sure, someone may be "patronising along the way", but that doesn't mean it is solely coming from the words being described here. Really, on the internet it's easy to interpret things the way we see them. So even a normal, helpful reply (even minus the "overused" words) can be patronizing in tone, or just interpreted as such.
Yeah I agree that people can be patronising regardless of using those words or not. Or interpreted as so, or not even intending to be yet still coming across that way.
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
oh I always use pet names (hun/sweetie/babydoll/dollface and so on) I think I only use it to people I know on here but i'm like that in real life too. I call everyone 'mate' and things..like If i'm in the street and trying to get someone who i don't know's attention..i'd say 'mate' cause it's so much better than 'oi'
I am probably a culprit here cause I do use these 'endering terms' alot in real life and probably type it without thinking aswell. I don't do it to be patronizing though and hopefully people see that.. I know when it's done to me I don't think anything other than "thats nice" if i think anything at all.
I wouldn't think that someone replying to a support thread- trying to help me would be being patronizing or condescending or anything other than trying to be helpful and nice.
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
For me, I just like everyone on contact unless they give me a real reason not to, so I do tend to use affectionate terms because that's how I genuinely feel about most people.
But I can see how that would be misunderstood by some people, so I'll try not to unless I know the person. I will do my best!
My name is Matt, and I am a boy. Feel free to PM me :)
I have learned that the world is not a safe place. Not at all. But there are so many people who love me and want to keep me safe. And that is enough.
