Do you ever wake up and feel as though you've never felt so alive, and there is absolutely no reason to want you harm yourself? But then later in the day, your mood decreases and you feel as though you just want to cut and cut? I sometimes wake up and think that I was so... so stupid to cut, but then I crave it. Is this normal o.O
Happiness is a form of courage
~ Holbrook Jackson
''Although the scars of yesterday remain, you can go on living as much as your heart believes. You can't be born again, although you can change.''
Hi, yeah i know this feeling well. Sometimes I can wake up and be relatively happy, the sun is shining and I think about happy things and feel lucky to be where I am in life and stuff. Then for no reason, later in the day I start to lose all happiness and get so unbelievably down and then I cut. I actually was wondering if I am truly going mad because I dont understand why I am like this. But I'm glad to know I'm not alone! This actually happened yesterday too, I woke up feeling ok. Spent a few hours revising for my uni exams, then me and my housemates spent the afternoon in the backgarden playing silly kids games like tig, and having pillow fights. It was so much fun and then somehow, it all just flickered off and I was really really down last night and I cut a lot more than usual. Makes me wonder if I will ever be ok...but meh, sorry I'm rambling. I hope you're ok and while I cant say if its normal, you're not alone in it though. Take care xXx
Yeah i understand what you mean.
i know that even if i have a day starts out ok and im feeling positive and like sure im not gonna SH because there just doesnt seem to be a reason, most of time my mood will just get lower as the day goes on.
*hugs*
♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed. Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
I'm so glad everyone can relate to it...it's great to know I'm not alone.
I definitely feel alone at nights and quiet days (much like right now) and I start to feel sick, and sometimes that develops into minor panic attacks where I shake and cry and throw up..and most of the time I just want to cut. Again, I'm glad I've found people who share my expiriances.
Take care xxxxx
Happiness is a form of courage
~ Holbrook Jackson
''Although the scars of yesterday remain, you can go on living as much as your heart believes. You can't be born again, although you can change.''
Me too. I almost always wake up relatively happy and I feel like I'll never ever need to cut again and I can't believe how stupid I was. And by 9 o' clock I've normally already felt triggered. By night I've often SI'd.
Silence can be golden but gold can sometimes suffocate
Like that girl in that James Bond film, too late to respirate
Tragedy can be plain to see with lights and sirens
But sometimes it ain't quite so clear, Domestic Silence
~Scroobius Pip
I know exactly what you mean, it happens to me all the freakin' time. I'll wake up in a great mood and then, for no reason, it just deterioates. Then I'm sitting there miserable, feeling like I want to cry but can't (the tears just won't come out), for no reason whatsoever. It's really frustrating..
I feel like this all the time. Sometimes it can be like a switch is flicked, my mood can just change in a matter of minutes from relatively happy to really really low, where all i want to do it cut... I have a question too, might make a thread, does anyone harm even when not really low? Sometimes i dont feel too depressed but still harm to 'prove' something to myself, makes me feel crazy... I just feel triggered all the time
I get this feeling alot also. Like today, I was just so happy that I had the last of my exams and there were 3 days of school left. Then by lunch, I feel so fast. Now, all I think about is cutting. Especially since tomorrow will be 2 years since I started and it gets me thinking that Im always just gonna be a 'cutter'. Like Im never gonna move past this. Sorry, for rambling.
The moment you feel like giving up, remember all the reasons you held on for so long.
It's sadly a far too familiar feeling for me aswell...it's almost like anytime that I feel this "happy" feeling I just know I will somehow feel ten times worse than I did to begin with later on...
