Triggering (SI) - i could so do it right now-trig sh

[razey02]

I'm so pissed off and mad and sad and hurt right now i could really do with doing some damage.
Mr and I had a huge argument this morning and of course he's right, he's always right, i'm the stupid bitchy idiot of a wife who never understands and gets mad when she doesn't and would like an explanation but it's too much to ask. im just supposed to trust right off the bat. well sorry but i'm not there yet. i'm just not there yet. what is so wrong with just wanting to know something? is it really such a crime?
apparently he says he should just stay at work coz its a lot better than being with me and he doesn't know why he wastes his time. well i don't know what i'm supposed to do with that. i really don't know. i wish i had somewhere to go coz he'd obviously rather have the place to himself then. i have nothing to say except I DONT KNOW WHY HE BOTHERS EITHER, ANYWAY! i don't know.
f*** f*** f***. i don't know what i'm supposed to do and i know a blade doesn't make things better, but oh it would really make me feel good right this minute.

[88shelz]

i understand how u r feeling rite now . ihave learnt that the only thing you can do is keep talking and be honest.
it sometimes helps to write it down so that you say everything you wanna say x

[razey02]

thanks its all over now, and i think its okay, but i don't feel much better. I feel exhausted and sad and am binging on chocolate.

[PoisonedApple]

*huggles* I know how that goes. What kind of chocolate?

[finding.my.wings]

Hey hunni- sorry i only just saw your post now..
i take it you didnt do anything? and im really proud of you for that.
hugs :)

[crazykat]

Hi Sweetheart, how are you doing now? Did you manage to go without hurting yourself? Hang in there hun. Here if you ever want to chat. Take care
Kat xxx

[razey02]

Hi there
Thanks for th support. No I did not hurt myself. It was just scary to feel like that again, so intense for the first time in so long. It was upsetting in itself, aside from what happened. Still not going so well atm, have to talk to boss about stuff today and am very very very nervous and close to tears. Hope I make it through without making a complete fool of myself. I'm just so tired...I need to make it.

[crazykat]

Well done for not hurting yourself hun, your doing really well. Can you try and do something to help you relax a bit before you have to speak to your boss? All the best hun xxx

[razey02]

Hi meeting with boss went okay i think, sorted some things out and there will be some changes to my work, so it will hopefully get a bit easier. I'm okay, just tear up very easily atm, and just want to sleep all the time.