Adult - If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible.
I'm ugly. I guess there's no other way to say it. I occasionally can look fairly decent, but for the most part no. I take horrible pictures all the time, as if it's not possible for me to take a decent one. I legitimately look like I have down syndrome or something in pictures. People say they look cute because they pity me. I can tell. I feel like I got screwed over big time, with physical traits, family, high school experience, every way imaginable. Anyone know Miles Fisher? He looks just like Christian Bale. Basically, he's disgustingly attractive. http://www.flickr.com/photos/milesfi...980460385/show
I'll have these 'moods' I guess for different actors or famous people who I love. Some of them make me sad, like Christian Bale and Miles Fisher, because I know I'll never have someone like that. I've just sat down and cried at how gorgeous Christian Bale is. That's sad. I'm afraid my standars are too high, so I'll never have anyone. Jason Bateman doesn't make me sad. Guys go up to girls based on how pretty they think they are, that's how they start talking. No guy will get to know me because of how I look. I think I could be one of those cool girlfriends, you know not prissy or anything. Cool. No one will ever know. I want to be in love, and I've never even had a boyfriend because no one wants me. Sometimes I just want to start over. You can interpret that in anyway you want, but I do mean that in a certain way. I would never do anything just because of that, but sometimes I wonder if next time, if there is one, would be better. It couldn't be any worse, could it?
"Hideous and invisible forever picking up the pieces."
I know how you feel. Its hard not feeling attractive.
But everyone is attractive to someone. Neither me or my boyfriend are especially good looking (especially me) but we suit each other. You will find someone one day.
I didn't have a boyfriend til I was 18 so don't worry about it. Plenty of people don't meet anyone til much older than that.
I think you should talk to someone about all this. Maybe a gp? Obviously we can't diagnose you with bdd but if you feel like you have it you should get a professional opinion.
If you want some objective comments on how you look think about posting a picture on the pictures board. I'm sure many people will find you pretty.
Aw, hun.
I know how you feel.
I see myself as REALLY fat and REALLY ugly.
But who's perfect?
Who is really stunning, and really beautiful?
No one, unless it's fake.
We all have flaws.
Love yourself if you can.
I'm here if you need to talk to someone.
xxx
thank you, Lily, for saving mummy's life*.
You are my one and only, you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight, and you'll be alright.
Hey Hun,
I know what you mean. Its not nice feeling ugly. I'm always picking myself apart and comparing myself with others and when I was younger I had absolutely zero confidence. Of course, it didn't help that the kids at school tried their hardest to make me feel bad about myself.
There are two things that i've noticed about your post.
The first is that you seem to have convinced yourself that you are ugly.
How would you feel if someone where to give you a compliment? Would you believe them? My point is, is that if you keep telling yourself that you are unattractive, then you will begin to believe it. This is more of a state of mind, perception vs reality, etc.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I've had some people think i'm attractive and others belive overwise. However it shouldn't really matter what they think. As long as i'm happy within myself. Nobody's views should be able to govern how I feel about myself.
Secondly, I'm compelled to ask, would you go out with someone that didn't look like Christian Bale or Miles Fisher? Surely if you aren't prepared to go out with someone who is less that your ideal, how can you expect someone else to?
Looks are not everything. Take it from someone who knows. I would go out with any guy that made me laugh and I often have done. I was also a late bloomer and didn't have a boyfriend until I was 18.
If you think that you have bdd then I suggest that you go to a doctor about it. We obviously can diagnose you, but you've taken a step in the right direction by talking about it.
well I haven't talked to my therapist in a while, but I will friday. I've never been told by someone that I'm pretty, except for my family. once I went with a friend to get his tattoo and the tattoo artists thought I was 20, and the other said I was 'really beautiful.' I just said thank you kinda shyly, and he says 'really, you are.' as if he knew I didn't believe him. also, I'm sure I wouldn't turn down a guy just because he isn't gorgeous, but physical attraction is important. it's not that I'm worried I won't find someone attractive, but I'm worried no one will find me attractive. I feel like it's unhealthy how much I compare myself to famous people and girls in my school, but when I see beautiful girls in my school, its hard because they are real people, and most of them are bitches, which makes me angry. its not fair.
also: there's a specific pictures board? didn't know that :P
Last edited by mercedes3pb : 18-05-2010 at 07:25 PM.
Reason: add stuff
"Hideous and invisible forever picking up the pieces."
I think that you've hit the nail on the head by saying that some of the so called pretty girls are bitches. Essentially, whether someone is nice or not, it waaaaay more important then looks.
Many of us regard ourselves as unattractive. I certainly do. But what do we mean by that? That we don't stop traffic? Probably.
Speaking as a heterosexual guy, there are so many things i can find attractive in a woman. Eyes, smile, the clothes they wear, the way they wear them, something in their voice, the way they wak or dance, the way they hold their head. Ohhhh.. even the shape of someone's nose or ears. Point is that someone doesn't need to have film star good looks to be attractive. In fact, the last three women i've been with i met online (not cheesy dating sites, no thanks, just places where we got to know each other and had things in common). One of them i travelled to another country to meet, and i hadn't even seen a photo of her (7 years ago, before everyone had digital cameras).
You're right when you say that most things that attract us to someone are visual. But most of us are in no danger of being hounded by model agencies and yet we enjoy a succession of loving, fulfilling relationships with people who happen to be pleasant to look at. Well that's how it's been for me, even though most people wouldn't look twice at me.
also though, honestly, no one on here is gonna say I'm ugly. that'd just be sad. so to anyone who says differently, I feel like it's not an honest reaction =/
"Hideous and invisible forever picking up the pieces."
Yeah, I know. But as I said before "ugly" doesn't really exist to me anyway. Someone I think is ugly will be the love of someone elses life.
As Hannah said if you continue to think you are ugly nothing ANYONE says, in real life or on here, is going to change your mind. Ultimately confidence is the most attractive thing and that has to come from you. Compliments can help boost your confidence a little thats all.
And on the compliments picture thread from what I have seen people tend to pick on specific points "nice hair, nice eyes etc." rather than just general "oh your pretty". So it might help you focus on your best aspects. Its too easy on your own to only see the bad parts in the mirror.
Also don't forget those "beautiful" girls you see are usually plastered in about an inch of make up and probably have bad skin underneath and if you asked them many feel just as insecure as you. No-one is perfect. Celebs have stylists and make up artists to make sure they look good plus pictures are usually airbrushed. They are not real. Anyone could look that good with all the help they get.
Hun, you've got to know everyone is beautiful in their own way.
I'm like you, I've never had a boyfriend either, but I'm cool with that because I know the right one will come along when their ready do you get me? I used to hate myself so much; I still do to some extent. But you can change things about yourself to make you feel 'more beautiful' like change hairstyle, make up, lots of things. Just find what's right for you.
I'm here if you ever want to talk. You're not alone in feeling like this either. xx
I know how you feel because i feel it too..... But i saw your pic in the piccies board and i just wanted to tell you that you are way too hard on yourself. I think you look very nice. I know it's hard to believe but i really mean that.
I might feel ugly but the simple truth is i have never seen anyone as ugly as long as they're a good person. You should start having more faith in yourself dear, there's nothing wrong with your looks at all.
Even some people find me attractive (though they're usually the creepy, stalkerish people, lol....)
Don't put yourself down. There's no need to. Just you wait, in a short time the boys will swarming around you
also though, honestly, no one on here is gonna say I'm ugly. that'd just be sad. so to anyone who says differently, I feel like it's not an honest reaction =/
Well i hope no-one would say you're ugly. I certainly wouldn't say that about someone here - i'd hold my tongue. But i wouldn't lie either! So when i say you look cute, that's my honest opinion.
do you get me? I used to hate myself so much; I still do to some extent. But you can change things about yourself to make you feel 'more beautiful' like change hairstyle, make up, lots of things. Just find what's right for you. 
