Triggering (SI) - unusual triggers..

[torn_into_peices]

lately some really weird things have made me want to self harm or do something really bad..

i don't know what it is that's making me so sensitive to tiny things but its kinda becoming stupid now..

i mean i was in a shop today and some old woman was just staring at the scars on my arm and usually i just think "if you don't like it don't look" u know.. i mean i've been living with my scars for many years now and i've kinda accepted them,, but today this woman drove me crazy!! i got all defensive and angry and almost punched the poor woman..

i suppose a lot of people haven't seen anything like that before,, especially the old folk,, but still.. idk whats come over me..

also i read a book called "CUT" by Cathy Glass,, and usually i find it really helpful reading stories about others who have had to deal with self harm in the past but this sent me on a right downer and i was so uptight and high strung because i wanted to self harm that bad..

luckily so far i've been able to contain myself but this week i have 3 appointments with several different professionals where i'm going to have to talk about my self harm,, OD'ing,, depression,, BPD etc and not knoing how it's going to affect me is kinda scary..

this thread doesn't really have a point but i just needed to get this out there and off my chest before i explode!!!!!

P x

[Fry]

Maybe you are more sensitive to people's reactions and other self harm triggers which wouldn't normally set you off because it's all on your mind more than normal due to your upcoming appointments.
Just a thought. I hope you feel more settled soon.

[makedamnsure]

Especially if you are trying to stop harming your thoughts will be on it all the time.
Its like if you are pregnant you notice pregnant people everywhere you go. Or you buy a new car and you see that car type all over the place.