I'm sorry

[Devil Girl]

I'm sorry. I feel like I moan more than I actually respond to others posts!

I am struggling. I really just want to end this now. I really just can't do this. The noise is all back, and the voices are getting louder.

I have several plans. I have lots of alcohol. And I just hate this world....I don't see the point. This place. This world. It is not worth this pain.

I just don't understand why I feel so bad...

[angeldust]

im here if you need to talk huni xx

[crazykat]

Hun you have nothing to apologize for, it's okay that you don't respond to others posts at the moment. Right now you need to focus on you and that is completely okay to do. I know your struggling hun, but things won't always be this bad. Is there someone you can tell how bad things have gotten, so you can have their extra support? Please take care hun. Am here for you, just PM me anytime. Take care
Kat xxx

[bleedingdragon]

I hear you about struggling and wanting to end this right now, its good that youve reached out to us in RYL please keep doing that . You don’t say if your getting any professional support have you been to your Dr to tell them how bad you feel and maybe see if you need to take antidepressants or have a talking therapy to help you through this.

Hearing the noise and voices must be frightening, thats important that if you go to your dr that you tell them about the noise and the voices . The more you can be honest with them the more they can help you.

Its understandable that right now you have several plans and lots of alcohol i hope you don’t try to end your life please try and get professional help. The dr can refer you to the CAMHS if your a teenager you don’t mention your age or to the CMHT if your over 18, Or even the crisis team .


Right now you don’t understand why you feel so bad but with support and some professional help you can begin to understand why you feel the way you do so that you can eventually move forward in your life
I posted some info about books about “Hearing Voices “ they maybe helpfull to you you can get them from

www.workingtorecovery.co.uk



Hearing Voices: A Common Human Experience (Paperback

A beautiful book which will be very valuable for people hearing voices. --Professor Marius Romme (Co-founder, Hearing Voices Movement

One of the most sensitively thought-through pieces of writing on voice hearing. This book will, I am sure, affect many people in a positive way. --Ron Coleman (former national co-ordinator, Hearing Voices Network)


Living with Voices - 50 Stories of Recovery A new analysis of the hearing voices experience outside the illness model, resulted in accepting and making sense of voices. This study of 50 stories forms the evidence for this successful new approach to working with voice hearers.

The Voice Inside: A practical guide for and about people who hear voicesThis handbook is an updated and combined version of two previously published


Working With Voices

The new second edition victim to victor workbook for voice hearers to identify and explore their experiences and to make plans which help them to move on in their life


Keep fighting use RYL as much as you need to

Dave

[Devil Girl]

Thank you for your replies.

I'm struggling. I actually have no support here. I am seeing the doctor again next week as I am getting blood tests done just now.

Thing is I am moving out of the area in like 3 months so doubt I'll get any support sorted.

When I go back to uni I'll be able to see my own CPN again, and uni support and potentially get psychiatrist back.,...

I've tried meds. Been in and out of hospital. Just fed up of this constant merry go round.

I am sitting wanting to die....just wanting to get it over with.

THank you for the list of books. Will look into them.

I just feel so helpless just now. Like I want to rip my skin off ...

(I'm 21 btw) and have had lots of support since I was 10/11 till now. This is not new to me at all. I also did have to see someone when I was like 5 years old....

Yeah I just want this to end....and I can only see one way....I feel so pathetic...so pathetic!

[bleedingdragon]

Hey,
your welcome,
Sorry to hear that your struggling and currently have no support.If you need to you can call your local surgeries out of hours dr for support out of normal drs surgery time.

Im glad your seing the dr again next week please tell them how bad you feel right now.

I hear you about moving out of the area in 3 months, do you know where you are going. You dont have to tell your current dr that your moving away. If you want your medical records to get to your new drs surgery fairly quickly its a good point to then tell your current dr where your moving to and which drs surgery your joining and even a drs name if poss. I looked on google under NHS changing drs and you can see whats involved they have a Services Directory where you can enter a post code to find nearest surgeries.

How do I change my GP?

NHS choosing a drs surgery services directory

Thats good to hear that when you return to Uni you will be able to see your own CPN again and a psych. I understand you about youve tried all sorts of meds , and in and out of hospital. Your right it is like being on a merry go round i feel the same way and i know how draining it is , and that your fed up its mentally and emotionally exhausting .

Ive been round and round in and out of the system so many times myself often to breaking point . All i can say is please try and keep going i was at breaking point with no further support when suddenly the NHS introduced a "Mentalisation Therapy " treatment so ive moved forward another step. And even though its hard keep going back to your dr and asking for support I hear you saying that your sitting there wanting to die n get it over with a thought that crosses my mind alot to please stay safe I hope some of those books can be helpful to you What your describing is important and i can hear how helpless your feeling and that you want to rip your skin off Im glad youve been supported when you were young I know right now you see only one way of ending this ..... please try and hold off and give yourself more time.

Things can change ive been where you are and tried to kill myself more than a few times, n right now my Mentalisation therapy is my only hope . Things can change for you, im still struggling a great deal but if i hadnt constantly fought for my self without constantly going back to the drs i wouldnt have got this therapy

Dave