Triggering (SI) - silly complaints

[finding.my.wings]

how do i say this.....?

well i, two weeks ago i made a commitment to not harm anymore, in this i did not succeed...as was pointed out to me. instead of cutting i did other less damaging stuff.

i still have my tools- and keeping them there is a comfort but i guess one day ill have to move them/ throw them away.

currently i have this problem.... i like coloring in pictures with coloring pencils and well they need a sharper... thing is pencil sharpers can become a tool. so i cant get one anymore.

and i wanna grow my fingernails... cos ive always bitten them, but last time i grew them they too became a tool. but i really wanna grow them cos without them my fingers look ugly.

and i gotta stop, cos scars on hands are not pretty.

[sweetescapee]

Hi. A thousand times well done on your commitment to move forward, that's a massive step however many times you relapse. Um, what about a mechanical pencil sharpener where there would be no possible access to the blade:

http://www.ryman.co.uk/Battery-Penci...0810206199.asp

for example could help you? Otherwise good felt-tips, or watercolours?

Nail-wise, I don't know what you have access to but acrylic fake nails which look 1000 times better than they sound are very thick and very 'blunt' in a soft way which means they not only look great but you can't hurt yourself with them even when you want to. You can get different colours and shapes and I used to pay about £16 per month for coloured ones which I used to have.

Good luck, PM me if you need anything, and well done to you so far!

[finding.my.wings]

sorry to bump this back up

but ahh im struggling to see why i should keep from cutting. im sick of tears and not knowing whats caused them, im sick of the memories of SA and having no other way to push them away. i dont like being in this place.

[GreySkys]

Maybe you should get some form of councelling to deal with the memories of the SA just to help you cope a bit if you havent already got help. But well done for making the commitment. You should write a list of all the postives that will come out of you not harming yourself. :) xxxxx

[finding.my.wings]

i have counselling and its the counselling thats making the memeories come back up.

[unmistakably_me]

someone i knew not long after i started cutting and was due to go to my GP about it - not my choice, i was very reluctant to go - and who knew i didn't want to used to say to me "it'll get worse before it gets better". i've heard it since, and have never really understood it in relation to the world as a whole, but when it comes to counselling and having to churn up the past in order to make some sense of it and move on, i can see why it is relevant.

sometimes it's hard to talk about the stuff that's causing us to SI, but in doing so in a safe environment, you can learn to accept that it happened and find healthier ways to cope.

if your counselling sessions are causing you to become less safe with SI, maybe you could bring it up with your counsellor and tell them that you want to take it more slowly. they are there to help you, and may have some good ideas about how you can cope with the memories resurfacing.

stay safe xx

[finding.my.wings]

sorry- i have some ahh cuts and i need to shower and ill get triggered. :(