Triggering (SI) - the one person that i want to care, doesn't....

[butterflymom]

at least, that is how it feels. she was my best friend thru all kinds of crap a few years ago. her and i both went thru some stuff and we told each other everything, we leaned on each other. she knew about my eating disorder behaviors. she was the second person in the whole world that i confided in about my SI. but it seemed like when she got her issues (not ED or SI related) under control the less she seemed to care that i was still hurting. we had some misunderstandings a few months ago and thought that we had resolved them, but i don't think anything has been the same. she says she wants to help but doesn't know how. when she does see that i'm having it rough and am upset she tried, but it all comes out patronizing.

she never askes me how i'm doing. she will ask how my day or weekend went but never aske me HOW i'm actually doing. she doesn't ask me about the meds that i just started, doesn't ask me how long it's been since i've cut. she's there for other people....i've seen it. but she's just not there for me anymore. i miss the friends that we use to be. and it makes me want to cut. it makes me want to starve. it makes me want to disappear to see if she will notice.

i feel so frickin' needy...but only from her. i have other friends who are supportive and who i feel i can go to and they are there, they've been there. some friends have overly tried to help, and i wish that they wouldn't be so involved. i'm sick of feeling invisible to this one person. why? has anyone else ever felt like this??

:( feelin' pathetic.

[dark faery princess]

Hey hun,

I experience this a lot. I quite often get attached to random people and desperately want them to care. Slightly different for you I now as she's your best friend. I don't really know what to suggest. I had two friends do this to me when I was at school. There were 3 of us all depressed at the same time and they moved on but I didn't. It is really difficult. I dunno if this sounds harsh, and I don't mean it to, but the way I see it is that once people who have been depressed come out of their depression they don't wanna associate with those who are depressed as much cos it might bring them down, and it's like a part of their life that they have moved on from and don't want to remember.

Not that it makes it any better, and I'm not saying she doesn't want to associate with you either. I dunno. That point isn't really going anywhere.

Sorry, basically I don't have any advice, I just wanted to let you know that I now how you feel

x

[xgx]

What you just wrote sounds just like the situation i been in. I meen there was other issues aswell as to why we didnt speak much but the point was when ever she needs me i was still there and i thought she would be for me.So i confronted her told her how it made me feel,It is abit better like sometimes we will talk for ages then i wont speak to her for days but its stil better than it was but i dont think it will ever be the same it was so i thinktry confronting her about it and take it from there.

[FluorescentAdolescent]

I'm going through the same thing really. It's really crappy I know, it makes me feel even worse. I understand. Pm me if you want to talk okay?