Okay hun, well obviously I can't make you go but I hope you change your mind and get it seen, if it needs stitches hun, just want the best for you xxx
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
not had a drink since last Friday either, not saying I am going to never have a drink again, mr dr thinks I have a problem as does my cpn n pysch, more so because it affects my mood and my medication i guess, not that im drink myself into a stupor...
anyhow tomoz night will be a test, going out with ga folks for dinner and then to a bar for a karaoke night, so dunno, i really wanna drink tomoz night but i know they might not like that and well i just dunno, i dnt wanna get pished and make an arse of myself either, especially as im going up to perth on saturday morning....
sorry random ranting i know
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
I was fine but I have had a pretty bad mood swing, I been on a kinda mini high for a few days, well since GA on Tuesday night, now I think I've crashed and burned and I am thinking of bad things I wanna do to myself now tonight.
Don't think many people be about now, might phone breathing space but I dunno.
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
hi. im kinda new here. been a member for a while but not actively. i have bpd and am on meds and in dpt doing better now i guess. well cause i realized how bad i really was. how paranoid and insecure and irrational i was. and so out of control. i lost my bf because i was so bad to him and he even knew i had it and was getting help but couldnt take it anymore hes to scared of getting hurt to be with me. he was even coming around seeing i was better but was like i cant ily but i cant rly trust its better. so now i hate myself because of it and him and everything. i feel so much liek i want to punish myself for it because we were the most amazing couple when i was ok. and because of bpd i lost him. im trying so hard not to hurt myself but i feel like i deserve the pain for what i caused him and how bad i messed up college too and make my family frustrated. idk what to do. i feel so empty and lost now that i realize it and all of it just makes me want to hurt myself. if anyone has any advice or anything that be great.
um think i got my wish, my fingers really swollen and weepy i cant move it at all which u know i dont really care about but now someone is going to notice, i think i saw mum looking earlier and i can't roll my smokes very well :/
about 5/6 weeks ago i had a bad episode and ended up in hospital. i didn't stay in for long because my Dad collected me from hosp and took me back to him and mum for them to look after me instead.
i haven't been to work in that period, but i did go to vol work last week (just a couple of hours). I was supposed to be doing Supported Permitted Work, but I have backed out of it now because of this episode.
I just feel lost.
I'm back home from Mum and Dad's now. It's hard getting used to being alone again. I am struggling to get motivation up to look after my place. I really need to tidy the place up but don't seem to be able to get myself started on sorting things. My support worker came yesterday and she washed up while I wiped, if she hadn't have helped me it would all still be there now piled up by the sink.
I'm sorry, I don't know what the point of this ramble is.
I guess I'm just down and sick of this illness and the ramifications that it has upon my life.
I hate the fact that I never stick to anything. I start things.. courses, work, hobbies... and I never stick with them.
Am stupid.
ur finger doesnt sound too good claire hope it gets better.
hollz sorry to read ur not feeling great, i feel kindda guilty about what i was speaking to u about last night now, u should have just told me to shut up and stop bein a numpty. in fact thats probably what you all should do most of the time.
as for me i had another trip to a&e last night cos of an o.d, currently on the ward with a drip, meant to still be on it for another 12 hours or something daft but they have the psych coming round to see me and they wont let me out for a smoke so all in all i rekon its time for a self discharge.
hope everyone is doing well today and big hugs to anyone that needs them xx
So much has been said, I don't know where to start! So thought I would just say that I hope you're all ok and feeling better after your bad patches/ come through to the good patch soon! *hugs* to you all if wanted :)
Hi agedharmer and kitty, I'm glad I'm not the only new one crashing the thread! How are you guys?
Just wondering if I could ask some questions...
Just wondering how long you've all been diagnosed with bpd for? And what were your initiial thoughts when you were diagnosed?
I was diagnosed last year, but it took me months to come to terms with it. I was proper annoyed that they said I had BPD, and although I've accepted it now, I'm kinda hoping that it's not true... Having said that, even if it's not true it will still be on my medical records so I suppose it doesn't matter.
Hope you're all ok, and hellz, I know what you mean about addiction to ODs, I was like that for a while last year.
Anyways, hugs to all. If my questions are annoying, just ignore them :)
x
And you're my obsession, I love you to the bones...
your questions arent annoying at all. i was diagnosed around a year ago it did my head in to start with but i guess i've kindda accepted it now still have my moments when i curse bpd with a passion tho! yeah im not sure what it is with ods oh well im sure i'll get over it soon. how r u today faery? xx
You know what I think Claire but keep posting here. It sounds like your psych should have explained to you why he was changing it back again. I understand how difficult the bpd label is to have and more so if you don't agree with it.
Hi Dark Faery Princess, welcome to the thread :)
Your questions are not irritating at all. I might come back to them after as my head is a wee bit ****ed of late and concentration is *****.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Just wanted to say hi to everyone and welcome to the thread agedharmer and lostkitty.
Im sorry about your appointment Claire...
Do you think you ought to get your finger looked at hun. It sounds like you need antibiotics.
I know im a ''right one'' to talk when i dont take them but it maybe for the best xxxx
Just wanted to say hi to everyone and welcome to the thread agedharmer and lostkitty.
Im sorry about your appointment Claire...
Do you think you ought to get your finger looked at hun. It sounds like you need antibiotics... it maybe for the best xxxx
^This^
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
well maybe take it that because u havent had a reply the appointment is still on chick i think u shud still go sounds like u need to get it off ur chest
