I really don't want to get accused of flaming by bringing up some examples of what I mean. Aimee, I know how passionately you feel about RYL, but I don't think anything can be done. I've post-reported and post-reported and nothing is done. RYL isn't what it was. So I'll just be on my way.
I posted something in the ED board the other day and slowly watched it go down the page with only one reply as other threads with something like 5 or 6 PAGES of replies went to the top of the board. It's really painful to watch your thread, which a lot of the time takes people real guts to post, just be ignored. I just deleted it after a while because it hurt seeing it every time I went to the ED forum.
As Drama said, it just makes you feel you're problems aren't "bad" enough to post about.
I don't mean to upset anyone, but that's just how I feel =/
You see a mouse trap
I see free cheese
And a ****ing challenge
I agree the quality of replies is really worth much more than the amount, and I really did appreciate the support from the reply I got. It's just very hurtful when you're looking for a bit more support/advice and you're thread just slowly dwindles down the page.
I'm not saying I wanted 7 pages of replies, it just would have been nice to have gotten a bit more support than one kind hearted reply.
It doesn't matter anyway =) I was just airing my experience. I doubt I'll be posting in the ED board for a while now anyway because I am hurt by that experience and don't want it to happen again.
Other than that RYL is magical though!
You see a mouse trap
I see free cheese
And a ****ing challenge
I really don't want to get accused of flaming by bringing up some examples of what I mean. Aimee, I know how passionately you feel about RYL, but I don't think anything can be done. I've post-reported and post-reported and nothing is done. RYL isn't what it was. So I'll just be on my way.
How many times do the mods have to say that just because you dont get a reply back doesnt mean nothing is done?
Last edited by NeonHaze : 10-04-2010 at 09:04 AM.
Reason: Took out the unnecessary sarcasm
Sarah: Give me the child.
Jareth: Sarah beware. I have been generous up till now. I can be cruel.
Sarah: Generous? What have you done that's generous?
Jareth: Everything! Everything you have wanted I have done. You asked the child be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?
You're right, there's no easy solution to this. As NeonHaze has said we're discussing it - not just ignoring you.
_Tormented_ I find that really sad, I'm sorry that happened to you. I find with the ED board it does sometimes go slow. Looking in there now there's actually quite a few posts with a more than five replies (and less than five pages). I do hope that you feel able to open up & post how you're feeling, because you are worthy of support. But if you don't for a while, maybe try the supporters?
This issue always plays on my mind, especially regarding EDs, but it's so difficult. There's more than just words on a page. There's the intent (are they glamorising their illness, or do they not really think they're ill), the readers belief (I'm not as ill as you and don't deserve support) and somewhere in the middle these clash.
It comes down to attitudes & interpretations & we can censor as much as we like but perhaps we just need a new approach. Inspiring the board. I know when I've posted with my issues and prefaced it with "I don't know if it's important or not", every time I've had encouragement that it is important; nobody is going to tell you otherwise. Maybe we need to encourage communication when you're feeling triggered/not ill enough/etc.
You are making complete sense. There are a lot of cliques on RYL and I don't actually fit into any of them, lol, which is okay - but with support and things it can be very hard and it stops me from posting a hell of a lot of the time.
Just wanted to say that I really agree with this. In certain ongoing threads, for example, I've posted and nobody's even acknowledged my post, which lead me to delete it because I couldn't see a point leaving it there. It just kind of hurts when you see all these other people who call each other by first names and have inside jokes and whatnot, and then you try and join in but they seem... unwilling, you could say... to let you in.
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
I think RYL is good in small doses and if you are careful with what you read. I agree that it can appear cliquey, but I suppose that is inevitable.
There are still some triggering avatars and signatures around though - I don't want to name any names, but would it be possible to ban all pictures of skinny people, regardless of how 'distorted' the picture might be?
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
i love ryl;
but is it me being paranoid & that,
or is there a great deal of favoritism here?
like _Tormented_ said, i know its quality rather than quantity,
but it seems sad that there are members who would rather help
'popular' members than new or other members,
cause it can make you feel quite left out sometimes.
I would say yes and no. It can be easier to give support to people you already know, because you know what sort of professional support they have etc. But there are times when 'known' members don't get that much support either, just because of the dynamics of the site at the time. We can't force people to give support, and we can't dictate who to give support to.
It's the same with more general replies. I notice it, that people do get overlooked, but is there actually anything that can be done?
Ive been on RYL for a few years now and have watched the help, love and support dwindle. Ive never been one for the boards much more of a chat room person where i can offer a hand support and get one back when i need it. But much recently when going into these chat rooms people are ignored. Friends speak to friends but if your new or they dont recognise your name your ignored. Everyone has their problems and were all here for support no mater how small. Lets all get together and make RYL like it once was and none of this im worse than you or im not talking to you crap. I hate it. Lets give out support like we want to get support back. *hugs*, pm me if you want to talk. Vicki (SH, OD and over eating disorder. Aged 37)
Also, I don't know how the Abuse and Bullying Support forum is doing at the moment, but in the past I have noticed that people who have been the abusers were not receiving any help and often getting very negative replies. I haven't ventured into this forum in a while, because it has often seemed pretty one-sided to me. But I think that abusers have as much right to ask for help in how to stop, in the same way that victims have the right to ask for help.
My opinion is probably not that valid, as I really don't go into that forum a lot so I'd like to hear others viewpoints?
Last edited by yourockmysocks : 10-04-2010 at 11:19 PM.
Yourockmysocks - if you are referring to recent postings from abusers, they were found to be multiple accounts from one person pretending to be the victim and pretending to be abusers.
but it seems sad that there are members who would rather help
'popular' members than new or other members,
cause it can make you feel quite left out sometimes.
Mmm, I agree.
(But, yeah, overall I love RYL. There's just some... unwelcome aspects to it, I guess.)
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
I'm not one that is really good at giving advice or anything and I don't usually have a lot to say but I think that the best way to approach any thread is with lots of hugs and smiles and just to let the person know that you're there for them.
Btw the introductions area is always running great, everyone seems to group together to give anyone a warm welcome and it's got a kind of positive feeling to it which I think is great. :)
I think that the best way to approach any thread is with lots of hugs and smiles and just to let the person know that you're there for them.
To an extent, I agree with that, but sometimes people are actually looking for advice rather than support, and a whole string of posts in their thread like 'I'm here for you' aren't helpful. I mean, I get that the thought's there, but yeah.
Gosh, I sound so bitter, don't I? I'm not trying to pick on anyone or anything like that. It's just something I've noticed.
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
Betsie Badger
