(Okay, so I am aware that I could be opening a can of worms. But that's not my intention, I honestly just want people's opinions/advice.)
Do you think that self-injury can ever be a rational choice?
To put it in context: I'm not depressed anymore. I'm on meds, I go to counselling. I'm not overwhelmingly sad, I have energy, I can overcome difficulties, small things don't make me want to give up. But now, more than I have for the past couple of months, I want to SI.
I used to do it to deal with sadness or numbness, now I want to do it to punish myself. My psych says that I only want to do it to make myself worse again because I'm scared of moving on or getting better. I dunno. I've examined my thoughts, motives and emotions so thoroughly for the last month. I've thought about SI and the consequences of my actions, I'm weighing up whether it's worth it. So if I chose to SI now: is there any possibility that would be a rational choice? Or do you think it would be similar to an addict rationalising using again?
I dont know it seems rational to me. My counselor told me it seemed as if i was addicted, but i'm not sure i agree. Because i know i dont want to continue SH a lot of the time, but when i do SH its because i want to, so it seems rational to me. But i dont know, maybe i just cant admit otherwise.
♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed. Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
I think that SI can be a rational choice, but only, ironically, in times of distress. Such as "I'm going to end up losing it/killing myself/overdosing etc if I don't do something controlled to calm myself down"
I think in the context you're referring to, it really is just a rationalization rather than a rational choice. What positives would you get out of SI'ing?
Actually, on that note, have you tried doing up a list of pros and cons?
"Watch me fault her "you're living like a disaster". She said "kill me faster", with strawberry gashes all over"
Huh, that's interesting, I hadn't thought of it being rational when it's a 'cut or die' situation but I definitely agree with what you've said, that in those situations it is the closest to rational you can get.
Lollirot - I did make a list of pros and cons after I read this...and there is only one pro and 7 cons, and I still am trying to convince myself that I should cut. *rolls eyes* On the plus side it has made me admit to myself for the first time that this is actually an addiction. So...that's a positive I guess.
Thanks all you guys for the responses, it helped me realise that I was just rationalising the decision, not making it rational.
Yay :) I'm glad we could help. Maybe you should keep the pro's and con's list around somewhere, it might help if the urges get bad, being able to pull that out instead of something destructive kind of thing.
*hugs*
"Watch me fault her "you're living like a disaster". She said "kill me faster", with strawberry gashes all over"
Sometimes I urge in the middle of a day, like when I'm at school, and if I acted on it then and there, then it would be irrational. But more often I think to myself "If I still feel this bad later, when I'm alone, then I shall cut." and more often than not, I don't feel as bad. Sometimes I do, but I think to myself "What would Charli/Steph/Naomi/Nikki/Beth say if they found out?" or I think "I'm too tired to stay awake. If I feel this bad tomorrow then I shall cut." and sometimes I do. Usually I don't. I think it's become more rational then.
I think that SI can be a rational choice, but only, ironically, in times of distress. Such as "I'm going to end up losing it/killing myself/overdosing etc if I don't do something controlled to calm myself down"
That is the best way to describe it.
However in the grander scheme of things, I don't think that it is rational.
I really don't think anything negative is rational until you find some way to rationalize it (you as in a general sense, I'm not trying to attack anyone personally). I can think of 90 different ways to rationalize the way I harm myself, so to me it seems rational. To an outside source that doesn't believe in self-harm, it will always seem irrational.
I really don't think anything negative is rational until you find some way to rationalize it (you as in a general sense, I'm not trying to attack anyone personally). I can think of 90 different ways to rationalize the way I harm myself, so to me it seems rational. To an outside source that doesn't believe in self-harm, it will always seem irrational.
You say this, and I agree with you in this sense, but do you see the decision to self harm a rational thought, or do you act on impulse?
I'm actually genuinely interested in these answers because we're looking at influence and that sort of thing in my Psychology at school atm
This is actually really interesting. Sometimes I can make a rational decision to cut and other times it can be in blind panic. That may have a lot to do with habit.
In a sense SI has to be rational. If I gave into every urge then I would surely get caught. There is a certain degree of planning involved. Tools are washed and hidden away and these are obviously rational decisions...
This is actually really interesting. Sometimes I can make a rational decision to cut and other times it can be in blind panic. That may have a lot to do with habit.
In a sense SI has to be rational. If I gave into every urge then I would surely get caught. There is a certain degree of planning involved. Tools are washed and hidden away and these are obviously rational decisions...
I think this is a fair point. Anyone who didn't make the rational decision to wash and hide their tools would be seen. With me, I also make the rational decision to get them out, because of where they're hidden. This is part of what I've done to guide myself towards recovery. As I said, I have to consciously think about getting them, meaning that I think about what I'm doing as well.
You say this, and I agree with you in this sense, but do you see the decision to self harm a rational thought, or do you act on impulse?
I'm actually genuinely interested in these answers because we're looking at influence and that sort of thing in my Psychology at school atm
I see the decision as rational because I weigh all my options at the moment, which is either cut and get over it or dwell on something that's bothering me for days and not get any better. I've never been triggered as in "if I don't cut myself right now I will die" or anything, nothing urgent. It's always been a conscience decision for me.
So if I chose to SI now: is there any possibility that would be a rational choice? Or do you think it would be similar to an addict rationalising using again?
for me if its a choice between OD and SI then yes SI on occasion is the rational choice. As for your last qustion/comment i think that it fits aswell; after it self injury is an addiction- so in the sense if you havent doen anything for a while then the pull when your struggling is a wholelot strong cos you havent been doing it everyday.
The BRAVEST thing
I ever did was CONTINUING MY LIFE when I wanted to die.
There have definitely been times when it seemed completely rational to me. I never cut deep enough to risk anything, and for a long time it made total sense. A bottle of beer or a cigarette aren't good for you either, but neither of them are viewed anything like self injury. It's not that I ever thought it was healthy, but I didn't think it was any worse than any of the other stupid things teenagers do, and I was frustrated by how much crap I was getting because of it. For instance, scores of kids at my former school were disciplined for drug or alcohol, but most of them were allowed to stay at school. My very mild self injury got me thrown out. I never could understand that. Doesn't drug use indicate mental unease to? And it's probably just as risky, if not more. Besides the fact that it's illegal ... and that it is likely to influence other kids.
But in the end self injury doesn't really seem to work. This forum is full of people who hate self injury, who are struggling with self injury, who have been hurt by their habit of self injury. And a lot of people do stop. If it was okay why would so many be motivated to leave it behind?
I know my thoughts are rambling and unclear here, sorry about that. I know I don't have a real argument, considering that my whole claim is that self injury isn't any worse than other things ... that are probably not rational themselves. I have to say, I'm pretty conflicted. When I think about the question I think, yeah, it's rational, what's the big deal? But then again I've worked my ass off over the last two months not to cut, so I obviously don't even believe that myself.
