Mildly Triggering (ED) - don't know

[makedamnsure]

Hi, I don't know if this should be here or on the main ED board.
I used to be mildly/borderline anorexic about 5 years ago. I'm ok now, normal weight and everything (slap bang in the middle of the recommended range for my height) but my eating habits are still a bit screwy.

Its worse now coz I'm off uni but even at uni it is sometimes the same. Basically, from when I eat the first meal of the day I am constantly craving food until I go to bed.

I am never hungry until I have eaten?!

It makes me scared to have breakfast in the mornings because I know that if I do I will be wanting food all day and eat far too much so I often don't eat anything (or even notice that I haven't had anything) until mid afternoon. And then can't stop eating.

I go to an exercise class some evenings which usually helps because I don't want food then when I come home.

I tend to be able to stick to healthy food in the day, so although I constantly graze it is on grapes, apples etc. But the nights I am at home, especially if my boyfriend isn't there I go on a total binge, usually on crisps/sweets. I sometimes even hide the rubbish because I know he will be shocked. If my boyfriend is there and I go and get something to eat like chocolate he will sometimes take it off me and I feel about 5! And I will go in a huge mood until he lets me have it.

I have tried over and over to make a meal plan for the week - have 3 meals a day and stick to it but even if I eat generous portions I am constantly feeling hungry (although I know it is probably not real hunger).

Sorry its long. Just need some hugs x

[Snow White.]

Hey,

*hugs you*

I know how you feel, I do this same thing myself. Sometimes I did find a meal plan helpful and setting out what time I would eat too, with snacks, so that I know there would be food planned within a few hours or so of when I get urges.

If your hunger is not real hunger, what do you think it is? Do you think that food provides anything for you- like a comfort or a distraction or anything else you can think of? Might be worth trying to find out why you think you are eating, if not for hunger, then what else?

You're not alone in what you're going through and I understand xxx

[.ghost.]

I second the idea of a meal plan- just be sure to make sure you put enough food in it otherwise you will be hungry.

I would recommend eatin more often than 3 times a day. I've tried limiting eating to 3 times a day before and I found that it made be overeat a lot.
I think I panicked about being hungry inbetween meals, which then made me overeat at meals, and meant that when I did end up hungry between then I would binge instead of have a small snack because I felt I'd already "messed up" just by being hungry inbetween.

Maybe plan a night time snack into it that's healthy and filling too? Sometimes I find that porridge is good if I feel like I may binge at bedtime. It's filling, warm (and therefore, to me anyway, comforting) and since it takes a couple of minutes to make then it sometimes gives me chance to reflect on whether I'm actually hungry or not, rather than just stuffing down junk which means I don't even have time to question why I'm eating.
I sometimes buy the flavoured sachets too, for if I get cravings for something sweet.

Figuring out what triggers you to eat when you're not hungry could be helpful. Maybe try jotting down how you're feeling next time you want to eat and seeing if you can see any though patterns?
Sometimes I suddenly feel "hungry" after I eat too, instead of feeling fuller. I sometimes find that planning an activity of some sort to do for ~30-60minutes after a meal can be helpful, and maknig yourself do that activity first before you allow yourself to go back to the kitchen again. Going for a walk or taking a shower/bath can be good as you can't eat again until you get back home/finish washing, by which point the "hunger" may be less urgent, especially as they're relaxing too.

*hugs*