yeah im like that will look at everyones arms even people i know and see all the time i will always look and feel horribly ashamed about myself...
''Where do I take this pain of mine I run but it stays right by my side'' (Until it sleeps metallica)
No matter how many deaths I die, I will never forget
No matter how many lies I live, I will never regret
There's a fire inside,
Of this heart,
About to explode into flames (Hurricane 30 seconds to mars)
yes, I look at other people's arms sometimes and everytime I see someone wearing shirts with long sleeves when the weather is hot I keep thinking if they are hiding scars (old and new ones) and when I am in the pharmacy and see someone buying bandages, alcohol and anything used to clean wounds I think if they SI too.
I don't feel quite ashamed, it's just to see if I find someone that does it too so I won't feel so alone and feeling like I am crazy and a messed up freaky
I write this alone on my bed; I've poisoned every room in the house; The place is quiet and so alone; Pretend there's something worth waiting for; There's nothing nice in my head The adult world took it all away; Wake up with same spit in my mouth; Cannot tell if it is real or not; I try and walk in a straight line An imitation of dignity- MSP - From despair to Where
I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does - The Smiths How Soon is Now
I do it too. I don't feel any emotion though when they don't have scars. Though when peoples forearms are exposed/positioned really obviously I tend to get urges to cut them myself, which is rather unnerving (just to be clear I never would)
"Watch me fault her "you're living like a disaster". She said "kill me faster", with strawberry gashes all over"
I do it all the time and I know it's weird but when I see people with Long sleeves on I get frustrated because I can't see their arms so I feel I might be missing out on a chance to speak to someone with the same problem
All the time. And working in a grocery store I see a lot of people come through. Keeps me occupied there.
But yeah, anybody that I see, even just in passing, I'm glancing at them.
If someone ever says to you "You need to stop thinking so much," call them ignorant in your head and keep thinking deeper. It is this mentality that breeds stupidity and sheeple. Your mind is the most important tool you have. If you stop using it, it will atrophy.
yeah i do but i think its similar to my tendency to try and find out if any women i meet are gay. It's because I'm looking for people who have something in common with me - makes sense in my head!
"this is the room where you don't have to be brave"
I always look at the place where i SH on other people. I sort of get jealous when i see that there arms are all nice and cut free. It makes me feel really lonely, and i've only ever seen someones SH marks once cause most people hide it. I guess it was in a way comforting.
♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed. Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
