Triggering (SI) - Gone one week, thinking of motivation
I've gone just over a week without self harming now, it has been really really hard at times, but I want to stop. I'm not quite sure how I have made it so far, seems strange that my head and ability to cope with things seems worse but that I haven't cut. The support on here has helped alot, so thanks everyone. I think also, posting when I have urges or get stressed helps a bit too because it is releasing some of it and I can let my emotions out.
I want to continue fighting this.
One thing that is really giving me some motivation is that I will be going on holiday at Easter, and the weather will also be getting warmer. .... I want to be able to wear t-shirts, tops and skirts or something, without having any nasty cuts or scars showing. My arm is scared, but they aren't too bad, my legs have scars all down them :( and still healing and fading from previous inguries. I'm hoping that it will all fade a bit more if nothing is added and hopefully not be noticable.
So I'm going to try and not SI, I am going to try and reminding myself that I would be undoing my work and will be unhappy if I do feel really tempted.
I'm going to try really hard( will hopefully get done help from counselling or doctors by then as well) ....or at least try not let and possible slip ups be anywhere obvious or deep.
Don't know if that kind of idea would be motivational to others?? If you want to try to aim for summer where you can try to be less coveted up, or if there is something special coming up and you would like to wear something nice or not be hiding cuts
GREAT JOB GOING A WEEK!!!:)
i'm sure you can keep up the good work.
if you happen to slip up don't get to up set by it and just keep trying. You'll reach your goal as long as you keep trying.
*hugs*
TJ
I can fly, I can fly among the clouds
All I need are a pair of wings,
outside help, and a little faith
You are valuable, don't let anyone tell you differently.
Love Gives Me Hope
What an awesome goal, I'm glad you made this thread :)
Ballet was my life and passion a few years ago, and I would like to at least take a couple classes. But I have to wait until my arms heal & fade. This will take some time, so I definitely can't afford another cut there.
Nine that sounds like a good thing to aim for and something that could really make you feel better or gain confidence. Good luck if that is what you ate trying to do
Thanks (: Right now trying to stay away from my arms is a mini goal. I try to pick goals for myself that I am confident I can achieve, and I think I can do this. It's easier for me to pick a modest goal and then go beyond it than to pick an ambitious goal and feel bad if I can't meet it.
I think I am going to slip up, I know I should try to talk myself out of it or distract myself....but I font think I have the energy to. I feel like I want to cut :(
just one little one....nothing deep....but then that's giving up.
Feeling down, having another bad day after a few good ones. I feel kind of isolated :/ I'm not alone...but it's just my boyfriend. Can't explain the things I am feeling....don't gave anyone who understands
What's the point in even trying to turn to people for help, cos no one knows what to do everyone just gives up on my....doctors, my boyfriend, trying to get counselling didn't sort anything for me. Don't have anyfriends, ppl I have spoken to speak about it a couple of times then just forgets
You're not a waste of space AT ALL, I promise, and don't feel bad for posting. Remember that one slip up doesn't change all the good work you've done lately. Every single time you resist the urge to cut it's commendable. Everyone slips up sometimes, but you've been so strong this week, and this one event doesn't undo all the strength, determination, and optimism you've shown this week.
Hun you are not a waste of space. You tried and that's the main thing, we all slip up sometimes. The important thing now is that you pick yourself up from this and try again.
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
Ok...I know it's not much, and not really worth posting.
But I have gone another week again....want to go further this time, I would like to go on forever.
I'm feeling happier this week so maybe I can get further....but it's still hard, I'm still thinking about SI alot
Still holding out...over a week now, so ive broke my bad record of going a week and then slipping up over something.
Feeling happier and more positive, and have been getting things done, so it is getting slightly easier. ...still getting panicy easily.
Hopefully all the marks and cuts should be gone in a couple of days...then i hope the recent scars will start to fade and wont be too noticebale...then thats my target just about reached.
Only problem is i dont have anything to look nice in for the holiday, and i think i look horrible and fat :(
I would say that it's getting slightly easier and that I am feeling better.....but last night in my dream someone was angry with me and then I went of and cut myself :(....so I'm just feeling slightly triggered today and also annoyed that I can't seem to get away from it.
I'm still feeling quite happy and better than I was....but I'm not sure how long the freedom will last, I haven't cut myself because I have no reason to, because there hhave been no arguments and I haven't been upset, I havent really done anything to work through it, or use other techniques for dealing with stress....I can't realistically ban people from ever arguing with/around me lol.....so there's always going to be something that can happen to trigger me until I actually have help getting over SH :s
Over 3 weeks now and still going good :)
Just trying to get rid of the scars i have....it doesnt seem to be working that much, i have scar cream, but they should fade in time as well.
Holiday is next week, so i guess i reached my target :) (well, dont want to jinx it) Weather isnt too hot, so isnt like i will be wearing anything like skirts or short sleaves, so dont have to worry too much about that.
If i dont post as much or arent on much it is because sometimes i am not thinking about SH or needing support. I still want to help others.....but now that i am feeling ok, its harder to give advise in a way :/, or to put myself in that mindset again....i also find it a bit triggering sometimes, or a constant reminder.
So why i am still trying to fight i might not be about as much.
But once(hopefully) i start to feel better about it and more in control, i will try to help others as much as i can :)
