Triggering (SI) - Oh....

BeautifulGarbagex3 · 21-03-2010, 10:21 PM

I've been trying to beat my urges , and for the most part of three months : i've managed it. Well and theres been a few scratches and hairless arms. But now I feel like such a fool.
I just got really stressed and didn't know how to let it out. So I broke something in rage and cut :/
I feel guilty and stupid. But in a way good because I haven't lost my best friend. It's more blood than ever and I feel happy to have cuts back on my body. I'm confused. Because I thought I was nearly beating it and was trying so hard. Sorry for this rant but I feel like i'm failing and winning at once :/

Katiee · 21-03-2010, 10:26 PM

I'm sorry to hear that hun, but well done on going so long, should be proud. I know what you mean though, you're not alone. The important thing to do is to keep trying. You can do it. Take care. <3

DontLookUp · 21-03-2010, 10:31 PM

3 months is so long, you should be so proud of yourself! :)
Its so hard to fight urges, but keep trying, i know its confusing cause cutting seems so comforting, but at the end of the day it will be worth it. xxx

Pierrot · 22-03-2010, 03:37 AM

Even when you see what it does, and all the things it's tainted, it has to be acknowledged that it's helped you out of some bad situations, and it's been there for you when no one and nothing else seemed to be. Bad as it is to say, it's no wonder SI is so hard to quit. Try not to blame yourself for coming back to thinking positively about it; really, when you think about it, it isn't all bad, because it has served a purpose. It's just that it's not a great solution.

Three months is amazing progress; it's really hard to make it that far, and that you've managed it means you've got good coping mechanisms in place most of the time. As ridiculous as it may be to say, I hope you're remembering to give yourself the praise and credit you are due for making it that long. And really, even one slip in three months is outstanding, and a testament to your strength of character.

I don't want to be a pedant, but SI is something that you beat every single day. Success is measured in inches, so every time you get by without it, celebrate that. *hugs* You can make it.

Too Shy · 22-03-2010, 06:49 AM

Well done for going so long without harming yourself - you're doing brilliantly. :)

Recovering from self-harm isn't easy - it's a big part of your life, and it takes time to change your thinking and find other healthier coping mechanisms. It's a bit like putting out a fire - you can put out the main fire but sometimes smaller fires will crop up somewhere while you're doing that. And it takes time to sort that out.

At the moment it sounds like you're just struggling a bit with being back in the self-harm mindset - but you can get through out. What helped you make the decision to try and stop hurting yourself originally?

Can you print out a list of distractions for yourself? I know sometimes it's difficult to remember what to do when you're very frustrated and self-harming seems like the only option - maybe if you had a list printed out for yourself somewhere you can see a lot it would remind you of other ways to release that stress?