Triggering (SI) - feeling numb?

[DthCab4Cutie94]

Im feeling so weird latlely and not the good kind.
ive been so numb.like im surfing through and nothing is happening.
I dont feel happy but i dont feel sad either.
I cut a few days ago and it took me out of that. it let me feel everything.
i had quit for a good 25 days and i thought i was gonna be ok but the addicting feeling is coming back.
ive been doing it so long it just feels routine to cut, it used to be so scary
and somewhat exciting.
now i just feel im hopeless.like im never gonna get out of this cycle. ive wanted to stop for 6 years but it seems like the feelings always come back.

Im not sure what i can do.

[Tig]

*Hugs*

Firstly, congratulations on the 25 days free. That must have been tough for you but what a great achievement, well done.

Numb is a very difficult 'emotion' to deal with in my opinion. I wish I had some advice on that one.

Do you have any professional support? If you don't, perhaps that is something that is worth looking in to as for a lot of people it can make all the difference, especially when self harm has been part of your life for so long.

x

[Alix]

I feel numb all the time. The only thing that ever helps me is if I laugh, like really laugh at something till I can't even breath. Maybe watch your favorite comedian or some funny show. :3 Best of luck.

[Nine]

I agree, numb is a really difficult state to be in. Do you have any profession support you could talk to about this? Because it would be much easier to quit SI if you can address what ever is behind it.

I think that you've tried to quit for so long shows that you are strong, not weak. If you were weak you would have given up by now. It takes incredibly strength and determination to keep trying even when things are difficult. Going 25 days is a real accomplishment. Most importantly you have no chance of stopping if you don't want to. Wanting to stop is a huge step towards actually stopping. I think you're in a better place than you realize. I know it's difficult, but if you are willing to try you will be successful eventually.

Maybe you could try and reduce the frequency or severity of your cuts instead of trying to stop completely. It could be a huge step towards recovery for you.

[Rockyb_123]

Well done for the days without man!
And sometimes numb is the worst thing, 'cause if you're feeling pain then at least you're real. Is there anybody you can talk to? Friends you can arrange to do something with? Sometimes going out with my friends is the only thing that makes me feel alive.

But you WILL get out of this. As long as you don't want to feel like this, you can do it.
x

[DthCab4Cutie94]

Thanks guys for the kind words and advice. i do see someone and im going to residential in august and hopefully i can quite :)