I don't know whats triggered me but I'm triggered again now :(
As for thing I can do to avoid it this time I'm on here , listening to music , took a Diazepam which I hope will kick in soon.
*hugs one step closer*
I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones
It's okay , they know me here .
Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)
''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"
*cuddles Vicki*
Anything you're up for talking about or just everything at once?
*offers ze hot cocoa n muffins, duvet and plushie*
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
Can't remember if I posted about my internship in here or not...
Sorry you all are feeling shitty too... :( *cuddles all* Mark, don't beat yourself up if you can help it... you slipped, you'll regain footing.
This year I'm aiming to be SI-free. I haven't cut or SI'd since December. The self destruction is more aimed at my ED now... if that makes sense. That might be too big of a goal though so I... don't know if it will work. :-S I mean, spring break is this week, and I will probably go nuts during it. :(
*hides in a dark corner* :(
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
*hugs lindsay* how u feeling there atm? hopefully u ain't too sick from the OD? take care of urself over the next few days...maybe find something u like do regularly?
*hugs doikers* hopefully u manage to get some sleep after taking diazapam... tc there x
*hugs vicki* keep fighting there! things will improve, it can't stay negative all the time x
*hugs scarlet* i hope u reach ur goal! 1yr is a good goal...but maybe 1/2 yr first? or 2 weeks? something which is achievable and then u can extend longer if problems arises! but yah...i'll be cheering u on, pm me if u need a chat or anything, tc x
*hugs helen* i'll probably chat to u when u wake up later in the day x
me...well, i feel iffy. Not the best nor the greatest. oh well nvm, i'll keep pushing on i suppose. *leaves some Orange juice on the table* tc all..toddles! lol. I think the time difference makes it harder for me to talk to u, oh well x
*cuddles Vicki*
Anything you're up for talking about or just everything at once?
*offers ze hot cocoa n muffins, duvet and plushie*
Quote:
Originally Posted by MammaMia
*cuddles everyone*
Vicki, you're not worthless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jetforce
*hugs vicki* keep fighting there! things will improve, it can't stay negative all the time x
It's just everything. Everything I try and do throws back at me. I feel worthless to everybody and much as I wish I could believe that things can't always stay negative I'm rapidly losing hope. And there's not that much left to lose.
Last edited by Strawberry.Bananas : 06-03-2010 at 06:56 PM.
Reason: Awesome coding fail.
hey guys, sorry I've been quiet the past week, things didn't go as I had planned and I've been keeping myself busy in the real world...but thats only helped mess things up further, blah...
Ewan came home yesterday....I made it til an hour ago pretending everything was ok, have now fallen apart and am sitting at home crying whislt I've sent him down the pub. I don't know why he loves me. It would be easier for him if he didn't. I wouldn't feel so guilty either.... but I don't know how I'd survive without him. Gosh I feel crap....I really wanna fag but I haven't got any!!! Arrghhh!!!
*group huggle* sorry but its all I can muster right now.
"All battles in life serve to teach us something, even the battles we lose"
"There are moments in life when the only possible option is to lose control"
Guys, just like it says in the movie The Crow: It can't rain all the time.
I take that to mean that one day things will improve. Even though it's hard to see that now, it won't always be this bad, this much of a struggle. Hang in there for the good times and don't let the bad times destroy you.
I love you all and would be incredibly sad if something happened to any of you. :(
And given that I'm in a really depressed place, it's amazing I can find any hope at all ... but I see my pdoc on Thursday morning and will hopefully get a full medication review.
*leaves hugs, one of my sister's homemade cheesecakes and a plate of homemade gingerbread men*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
tc there x
