Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
i am doing well except for the fact that I have misplaced my laptop
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
I'm a Christian...ish. I was saved 4 1/2 years ago, but for the last several months I've had lots of doubts and am probably more agnostic now than anything. I SI and have depression and anxiety. I've always thought I was a horrible christian because I SI, so it's nice to see I'm not the only one.
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
I'm having a crisis of faith... and it's not like anyone I've had before. This one is bad and it's been going on for a v. long time. It's not that I don't believe in God or that Jesus died for me, it's a different kind of crisis. I can't even pray; it's like I don't even want too because I know it's not going to help.
Insanity, by definition, is doing the same thing over and expecting different results. Isn't that what I'm going when I keep praying for the same things over and over expecting a change and never getting one. (I feel like I've had this conversation before-- which I probably have.)
Instead of feeling alive and uplifted after I pray I feel more depressed and v. much alone. I don't know what to do. I don't even have a pastor to go talk too-- being that my church is what, 3000 miles away.
GAH! What do I do!
We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin. ~André Berthiaume
luv0817:I feel your pain and frustration right now! We all go through difficult seasons with prayer and connecting to God. But I think the important thing is to keep trying and to keep praying regardless of how you feel. Also have you tried worshiping? As I find that cheers me up when i am feeling low. Theres also some great books out there on prayer such as 'The Power of a Praying Woman' which i'd recommend you read.
I hope that this helps.
do you have a church near you you could go to luv0817, and speak to the pastor there? or maybe if you'd be more comfortable asking advice from someone you know, you could write your pastor a letter.
i got a compact NLT today- nice and small so i can carry it around. i'm a bit behind in my reading hte bible in 40 days thing - i think i'm going to catch up this afternoon and tonight. then i'm going to read through the NLT version, and the KJV version after that...then see if i can find the chronology bible -it has the books in the order they were written.
wow I haven't been on ryl in ages - and I never really did much on here last time I was on - and then today I wandered on because I started cutting again (just a little bit) this year, and I find a Christian SIers thread... (I've been a Christian [Protestant] almost all my life - raised christian, etc, so my sisters are as well, one catholic and one protestant too)...
anyway. I'm just posting to join the discussion. and because today and the last couple weeks have basically sucked. and I would really like to go to church tomorrow because I've missed it for the past couple weeks and it would be a good distraction from cutting, but it's too far for me to walk and I'm not sure if I have a ride. and I kind of have a sick feeling that if I don't get to go, and be distracted and social, then cutting will happen.
sadness.
hope everyone else is doing better...
Fuzzy: I'll try and find the book. Yeah, I've tried worshipping... I know it's ridiculous, but I feel like every time I try to do something like that, things get worse... think God is trying to tell me something?
Tamobhuuta: My parents church is local, but I've never felt comfortable there. Maybe I should seek a christian psychologist... or psychiatrist...
We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin. ~André Berthiaume
The following content has been hidden - Reason : as per usual: ED Trigger
My accountability partner is really serious about me getting help.
We talked last Thursday & I told her that I'm afraid to see a therapist, because I'm afraid it won't help, and that will prove that I'm hopeless.
I've done the whole therapy 4 times before, and it's never been beneficial.
She pointed out how different the therapist she wants me to try is than anything I've ever tried before, & she said that if therapy doesn't work, there are other options (nutritionists, hospitals, etc) she mentioned that she knew a girl who went inpatient & it really helped (she doesn't realize how much that scares me)
I finally conceded that trying therapy couldn't hurt. I mean, worst case scenario, I'm right back where I am now, no better, no worse. So it couldn't hurt to give it a try.
I agreed to call & set up an appointment the next day (last friday). She texted me that day to see if I'd called yet, I told her no, & that I feel like if I just try harder, then I can fix things. I mean, if I got myself into this, I can get myself out.
She pointed out how dumb my reasoning is.
She said, "You can't help yourself. You know you are deep in sin and you need help getting out of it. You aren't dumb. If you could do it on your own you would have done it a long time ago. Your attitude toward food and your disorder will take more than willpower. Salanna, you are going down hill and fast. You need help and that's all there is to it. If you had been getting better it would be different but you aren't. It's getting progressively worse."
<insert lame, stupid arguments from me here>
"You need help and I'm not arguing about it any more. If you don't get help then just know I will seek counsel and see how to go about the next steps of church discipline. I love you and want you to get better. I won't watch you drown in this sin." (note: see Matthew 18:15-20, 1 Corinthians 5, Galatians 6:1, James 5:19-20 for an explanation of "church discipline")
I understand that she cares about me, and this is ultimately for my good, but I'm terrified of change...
I just want to give up on life most days.
love0817, how he loves by david crowder band is a good worship song, as is the valley song by jars of clay. and i'm not so trusting of christian psychs since they don't have to be lisenced and they tend to...erm...irritate me. (one told me it's a sin to be angry after a rape.) but i also haven't seen many. just something to consider.
Charlieglasgow, thanks for the song recommendation. I meant a psychologist who's a Christian, not a "Christian psychologist"; I've been to one of those before and I completely understand what you're saying. She didn't help me at all.
We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin. ~André Berthiaume
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Charlieglasgow, thanks for the song recommendation. I meant a psychologist who's a Christian, not a "Christian psychologist"; I've been to one of those before and I completely understand what you're saying. She didn't help me at all.
yeah i've been to a couple christian psychs who are freaking awessomme!
