Too Many People?

Vampiric Addiction · 29-07-2007, 05:25 PM

Sorry if people dont think this is appropriate, but this is the only section I thought it'd fit in...

I went out last night for the first time in a while. I havent been to that particular club in a while and it took me quite a bit of 'working myself up' to manage it.

I'm not claustrophobic at all [in fact I like small spaces], but I tend to get quite worked up when Im around alot of people at once. It was pretty busy last night, and I kept getting quite freaked out whenever people were too close to me or when I didnt have a clear route to get out...

As a result, I had 1 drink during the whole night and spent most of the night outside on the seats in the street. Gah. Don't think I'll be back out for a while.

deviantobsession · 29-07-2007, 05:47 PM

babez i no how u feel going from feeing all on your own to be surrounded by loads of people many you dont know can be rather alarming i dont know what to say just look after you self xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stellata · 29-07-2007, 06:00 PM

I can very much relate. I get very anxious and defensive when I feel crowded out, and people can take this the wrong way. When you're feeling secure, personal space isn't so much of an issue, but when you're feeling extra sensitive or vulnerable, and/or have bad past experiences of being surrounded by people [for example I was bullied by a gang of girls in my year group], then being around lots of people can be a huge trigger.

I've walked out of a therapy group before when someone was sitting too close to me. I did go back in again after the panic had calmed, but I did sit on the floor.

I find supermarket queues and public transport my hardest situations. It has got a bit better, apart from when I am pre-menstrual. My ex-psychiatrist advised me to try and tolerate closeness an inch closer each week. It doesn't quite work that way, mate. My therapist, thankfully, is much more understanding and respectful of my need to work things through.

Marko · 29-07-2007, 11:51 PM

i spent years scared sh**less of people and avoiding them, even tho i went out every week with my friends, i was in a constant state of panic. i was silly and turned to drinking to get past it, dont do that please.

i think you should maybe go out in moderation, like to quiet places at first to get used to strangers being around then work yourself up at your own pace to busier places, just take your time tho and go with people you are comfortable being with

i hope you get better, take it easy

starshine · 01-08-2007, 08:43 PM

oh my i couldn't have said it better! i can relate completely! its hard but its a thing that you either have to get over or spent your life alone (i choose the second one) because people are everywhere and anymore they seem to come in groups!

i wish you the best of luck withover coming this

kamikazebaby · 02-08-2007, 08:22 PM

Maybe you could try visiting quieter clubs, pubs or bars? Then as you become more comfortable in those environments, going out to a busier club with someone who understands and can support you?

drackisses · 02-08-2007, 10:07 PM

I have the hugest empathy for you, in crowded stores or streets I just...I can't DEAL with having people that close to me, all around. It makes me anxious and angry, and it's just not good.

Like the other people have said, you might want to try going out to smaller clubs and things first, where you know you'll have space and less people, and then gradually working up to more crowded places as you feel comfortable :) Try not to let it get you down, just keep working on it, but don't push yourself either. Good luck!

Vampiric Addiction · 02-08-2007, 11:09 PM

well having been diagnosed today with anxiety and depression, i guess this all makes sense really... bit crap when it triggers off panic attacks and similar, but just have to keep retreating to open places with less people or little hidden places away from them whenever i need to...

Stellata · 03-08-2007, 09:02 PM

Are you getting any meds?

I understand panic attacks, and needed to take a beta blocker [propranolol] for while when things got tough. It calms the physical effects of anxiety. I always took it before work on a Saturday [before I got moved to a quieter place]. It helped me feel more human, I guess.

I also retreat a lot when out, people dodging sometimes.

Maybe have a think about what it is about lots of people that makes you anxious.

Vampiric Addiction · 04-08-2007, 07:40 PM

not as of yet... i have my assessment with the CPN on the 14th, which im already terrified of, but we shall see how that goes... she'll be the one to make any meds/counselling/whatever recommendations, i believe... well thats what my doc said - i think... [god, my memory's getting worse!]

Its wierd, i cant explain what it is... One thing that freaks me out something rediculous is when my 'escape route' is blocked by people... then i feel like i have to get out...

one_step_closer · 05-08-2007, 11:31 AM

I completely understand, anyone who feels 'trapped' will become anxious and feel the need to escape. It's just that people feel trapped in certain situations. I hope that your assessment goes well, try not to worry about it too much, they are there for you. And remember, she can recommend things, but ultimately it's your decision whether you take up those recommendations or not.

Let us know how things are for you. Please get in touch any time. Take care. xxx

Vampiric Addiction · 05-08-2007, 06:40 PM

Stupidly enough, the bit im most worried about is that she's going to think im just a hypochondriac and making it up or something :(

Audrey · 05-08-2007, 08:55 PM

I'm totally there. I never go to clubs because it's too loud and too many people - never happier than in a nice pub with just my friends.

I've lost relationships through this and when I panic and run to find a seat somewhere quieter some 'friends' have accused me of being an attention seeker/drama queen.

Although I'm obviously not glad that you feel like this, I'm glad that I'm not alone in feeling like this.

I reckon just go to places where you feel comfortable with people who make you feel comfortable.

You're not alone in this. x

Vampiric Addiction · 05-08-2007, 09:01 PM

At the moment when people are inviting me out and I'm admitting (only to close friends) when I don't think I could manage it... I dont think they undersand - the most common reply is 'eh? why?', even though they know about my depression and anxiety, the accomanying paranoia and panic attacks too... but yeah, friends often dont understand.

Just the way it goes, I guess. :(

Stellata · 05-08-2007, 09:04 PM

Its hard when people don't get it. Only today someone - random stranger, but it still hurt - accused me of being on drugs (never touched them in my life) when I needed to run to safety. Could you say that you're feeling extra sensitive right now, and need quiet? Maybe depression and panic and paranoia are just words to them, not very very real and distressing feeling states that you struggle with from day to day.

Vampiric Addiction · 05-08-2007, 10:33 PM

i think there is an overuse of terms like 'depressed', meant in a very different way to the medical way - I myself have always been very careful about how i used the term, as my dad suffered from depression for a few years, so ive always been conscious of it... but others often dont understand the gravity of it...

Stellata · 06-08-2007, 09:32 AM

You do though, and so do many of us here, who've lived with it for so long..

starshine · 15-08-2007, 04:57 AM

YES we do and i too have ran i to many situations where people hear that i'm 'depressed' and they are like "about what"! Few people i know think of depression as a VERY real medical condition! And for somone who has never dealt with it they can't understand just how completely crushing depression, anxiety,or other mental illness can be! it kinda blows!

Vampiric Addiction · 15-08-2007, 11:04 AM

Yeah, so many people hear you've been diagnosed with depression and go 'oh, whats wrong?' or decide to 'cheer you up' - but its only superficial. :(
They dont really get that I can sit with friends and laugh, but it feels like im watching myself go through the emotions, it doesnt feel real, like im not really in that situation. :( and then ultimately, it doesnt change my problems. [it is nice of them to try in some ways though, to be fair.]

Nymphetamine · 15-08-2007, 11:18 AM

Well, I don't know how yo ucould do it, but trying to find ways to get your friends to understand is probably a good idea, even if it's just for this situation. A few years ago I started having a panic attack at Notting Hill Carnival because there was just TOO MANY PEOPLE (and I'd had far too much Red Bull...) It was so out of character for me my friends just didn't understand, shouted at me when my hand shook too much and I threw coke over one of them and basically ignored the fact that I was totally, totally freaking out.

Now it doesn't happen to me often, but when it does usually I'm with a close friend who does understand, who can make sure I'm ok, get me water, and point out that there's plenty of ways out "look *shoves way through crowd dragging me behind her*" It helps to have someone who isn't like "WTF you doing, I'm trying to have a good night out here for christ's sake, quit being such a pansy"

And obviously it would make life easier on the whole if they could understand. Maybe write them a letter, show them some websites that explain it. Maybe ask your CPN how to go about it. The fact that they're trying to "cheer you up" is a brilliant sign, you obviously have good mates :)

Good luck with everything :)

(Oh by the way, I like your name!)

~Nymph~