*Cuddles*
Nobody is saying you have to stop, it sounds like you are having a difficult time right now, and the help you have been given is not to make you stop, it's to give you a time and place to open up, and find out why you feel you need self harm in order to cope, and then it's down to you whether or not you want to get better. They will not take away your coping mechanicm by force, because it just does more harm than good in the end.
You've even said you want help, and the longer you put off accepting help, it'll be too late. Try your best to open up to the counselor, don't lie. If there is something you find difficult to speak about, then tell them that you're finding the topic difficult, then you can work another way around it, don't try and convince people you are fine, when it's clear to people who love and care for you that it's not. You are hurting both yourself and them by doing that, some things won't just 'go away' by pretending they aren't there.
Your best friend, aren't they worth getting better for? So you don't have to spend every last minute with them, with a fake smile on your face? If they were a true friend, they'd understand, they probably don't think you are 'cured' at all, just not quite sure how they can help.
All I'm saying is use this time with the counselor to your advantage, you say you don't know what to say... but the counselor is there to help you find answers. You can do this, just stay strong and go with the flow, and try your very best to get whatever is eating away at you out, 'cause you never know, a person to talk to 45 minutes a week may just be what you needed.
All the best of luck. =]
|
SOO...I guess you could say i screwed up. I let me arms be uncovered for a little to long and the assistant principle saw. and now there sticking me in theapy for it. I don't want help though.....I want to stay in control of my cutting....I don't want to open up...it hurts to bad to open up with all the stuff thats locked inside my head. So i went to intake with my mom. Lied the whole time to the counselor....now i don't know what to do. I did it again...deeper as of a few hours after intake and now i have a session tomarrow. I am fn scared. the sessions are 45 mintues during the last 45 minutes of my school day. I just want help....but i don't want to stop....there tryin 2 get me for ED as well but the thing is "ana" and "blade" are my only friends. =[ I don't know what to say to the counselor person...I don't know. I am a waste of life and space...My best friend thinks i am cured and all better and all godly...but really truelly i am broken. dead inside and broken with nuthing left to hold on to. =[
Cracks in the concreat are just reminders that you can fall apart no matter how strong you are.
