Triggering (SI/OD) - I dont know what i want from life
I dont know what i want from live just now, I just feel so frustrated and angry with myself and everything that has happened recently from college
I just want to give in to them urges to OD/SH and do it badly but i cant because i think that the college when fone home to my parents
I cant even have a class off because people are worried, My course tutor will email me with concern and have someone to check on me
I want to run away from it all but i cant because it my parents will be mad at me for wassting there money
I do have a lady to go and see but i feel scared to go to her because she will recommend a counsellor or go to my GP which i cant
I want to email the lady but i cant because i dont want her to worry about me
Every day at college I feel frustrated or i want to trash my room up
I let one of my friends know about my SH and all she said was if you carry on doing what you are doing your family may want you to get sectioned (but they cant do that because im 21 and live in the uk) maybe thats for the best because Im not sure what i would do, i need to have a escape from it all but everyway i turn its all there in front of me blocking the path
I just feel so trapped in this trap
On sat i looked in the mirror and i thought i hate myself again
I think it's ok to not know what you want from life when you're 21. You're still young, and still have plenty of time to decide what you want to do.
The lady you want to talk to, I think you should try talking to her. Even if she recommends you go to your GP or a counsellor, you won't be forced to, although I'm wondering why it is you're reluctant to see somebody like a psychologist? (They can be helpful, and therapy isn't as scary as you think!).
As for worrying here, I'm sure she (and many, many other people) would be far more worried if you chose to OD/SH instead of talking to somebody. Plus, she may be able to offer you some good advice.
There's nothing wrong with taking a class off if you need to, perhaps the lady you want to talk to could explain to your tutor that you need a bit of a break right now, but that you're ok and don't need emailing or being checked up on.
Also, if what you're doing at college isn't what you want to carry on doing in future, I'm sure you parents would understand if you wanted to stop and look for something else, which I'm sure would be more beneficial to you, and those who care about you, than trying to run away from it all.
What your friend said sounds a bit insensitive, but I think maybe it's her way of telling you she's concerned and would prefer you to stop? People don't always say the right thing when they're worried or scared about something.
A few things in your post show you have people who care about you, asking for help isn't a bad thing. It's good you talked to your friend I think, even if you didn't get the reply you needed. Try talking to the lady at college, it could help =]
I will try and email the lady but i dont know what to put it in for starters,
College yeah it is what i want to do but its boring and i have done half of it last year so there is some repeat in it and i only want to college because i tried to look for a job but there wasnt anything in the line of work
I have had CBT but the head guy wasnt nice at all and i got a lady for it but i couldnt open fully to her, Im just scared if i get a guy like that again just sits there and makes comments on everything,
I just think theres always going to be a bricked wall in front of me and i cant seem to knock it down
Hey girl,
Its britt
I know how you feel and i know its not easy.
However maybe talking to the person you have may be helpful. i know u aren't comfortable with it and im not sure why we can talk bout that sometime. But she can't make you do anything you don't want to do. You are very lucky to have people who care and are concerned however it is my opinion that being in a secluded place really doesn;t help. Maybe you can find someone else to talk to. someone you are more comfortable with. And like it was said before you are young and have your life to decide what you want to do
no one said you had to go to college now
Hugs xxxx
Ditto to everything that has been written in response so far xxx
I've recently been in the same situation as you. It was really scary because the college wrote everything on my online learning tracker so all the staff could see.
At the start I found their concern really horrible, I wanted them to leave me alone. But since, I needed someone there for me and the college were the first people I went to for help. They have been absolutely fantastic, there for me whenever I need them. It's all confidential too and they understand.
So, I know I'm going on about me a bit but it's just so you can see that college are on your side xxx They care so much about each student and want everybody to succeed. xxx
I think you should speak to or email the person that you trust the most. People suggest going to seek professional help when they are scared for you, they panic and want to know that you will be okay xxx
So, open up to her and she should try to understand and should be able to offer you advice or be there for you at this really tough time xxx I think she would rather you chatted to her about things that are bringing you down rather than harming yourself. She wouldn't want you to be in pain xxxx
I so hope you are okay and can find the strength to keep going. Here anytime via PM if you need me xxxx xxxx
<3 xx when all of the stars, have faded away...
just try not to worry, you'll see them someday <3 xx
I think sometimes i just feel that they are against but After what people been telling me on here and on the chat that they arent, I think you guys are right to try and open up to her and talk to her when i need to instead of trying to battle my way through things
I tried to get rid of my tools today which i couldnt because i was closed to tears just thinking about it, think i just need to keep them and become less dependant but i think it going to be a little bit easier
