So I came out to my sister, as trans, a few hours ago, it was pretty emotional, both of us crying a lot. She is doing her best to try and understand, but its tough for her, she got very upset, especially when I told her about the different name I go by at trans group, she suddenly thought I was a different person, I tried my best to explain I wasnt. She then became really upset about the fact that she worries about what to wear and friends while I was trying to figure out who I am, I told her that I at last know who I am, and thats made me feel a bit better. But I feel so guilty for making her cry and get upset, feel like I have let her down in some way.
Guess I could really do with some hugs and supportive words at the moment.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
Your sister sounds like a very cool and special woman; it sounds like she cares about you a lot, based on what you've said here, and is trying to put her best foot forward. Hang onto her! :P
It doesn't sound like you've done anything to let her down, and I doubt she feels that way. In fact, it sounds like she has put herself into your shoes a bit already, and that's why she feels guilty for having been occupied all this time with what seem like comparatively shallow things (her friends and her appearance), while you've been struggling with your identity. She is just starting to really consider things from a different perspective, and she probably feels a bit abashed at the moment. I don't think you did anything wrong; in fact, it sounds like you made an excellent start. It may take her some time to come around, but my unprofessional guess is that things are going to be okay. :)
You haven't let her down at all, you have done really well to tell her, don't feel guilty. it doesn't sound like she is upset at you, more that she feels bad for maybe not being there for you enough whilst you have been coming to terms with this.
It is probably a shock for her but she seems to have accepted it well so don't worry.
it was great that you could tell you sister it sounds like she was just overwhelmed by what you were telling her have another chat with her if you want after the initial shock has calmed for her.
Well done for coming out to your sister, I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you. I think you did a really brave thing. Also I don't think your sister would feel let down, more than likely she feels that she may have let you down. She seems like a lovely understanding sister. Hopefully she can be a bit of a support for you. Take care
Kat xxx
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
Oliver, hon, you haven't let her down. Well done for telling her, and I'm glad she's trying to understand =) I think you just need to give her time, she'll see that you're still you, she'll just need time to absorb it *hugs*
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
thank you for the replies everyone, really does mean a lot
She has gone home now, it was slightly weird the last few days, us both sort of avoiding it, her being slightly distant. But I've decided to leave it for a few days let her go home, see her friends and stuff, then send her an email, with a website on that is a good source and has some good stuff for families of trans people, I hope that will help her. I realise it will take her time to come round to the idea, she has known me as female for 16 years, so its going to be strange.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
