Not sure yet if this qualifies as a post or a rant but wanted to post it anyway.
Over the years have been treated for depression, anxiety, self harm, schizoaffective and most recently disasociation. I don't think there sure. Currently between councillors as last one decided I needed much longer term help in a more specialized area. Have been waiting about a month now but am in top few priority in area so hopefully not much longer to go.
Anyhow I'm just so sick of this detachment crap, it's nothing new but it is driving me insane, quite literally I suspect. I'm forever feeling as if I'm high, totally spaced out and disconnected from everything. Worst cases I can't work out what memories are real, fantasy or dream. This is the worst part for me, the not knowing. I described it to my councellor as just observing life, not experiencing it.
I really don't know what to say that will be of any use at this point. Even the thought of self harm or more don't appeal as they used to, how can it when I'm not even able to relate to my own existence.
I've heard this described as a timeslip as in Im out of sync with reality, I need a jolt of something to put me back in line.
Does anyone relate?
Also, not sure if I'm allowed to ask but dies anyone relate live local as I've never met anyone knowingly who suffers this and would like to, might even help! I'm in Tyne & wear by the way.
Eep
hush little baby, don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head
i can relate a little, though i'm afraid with me it comes and goes. and i live the other end of the country. i don't know whether i dreamt stuff, or what i actually said. like an observer but not a very good one! sometimes i think doing something crazy will pull me out of it but more realistically that wouldn't work and i'm stuck with it as long as it lasts. it sounds like it has lasted much longer for you, which must be really hard. what kind of help are you on the waiting list for?
Tamo - honestly do not know what I will be gettig, all I know is it's with a guy who specializes in disasociation and it's retry long term. Minimum 5 months o weekly visits!
Ami - wasn't aware of the meet, unfortunately I'm working 23rd so can't attend.
hush little baby, don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head
i don't know about disasociation or what help you would get with that, but i hope it helps. i've been seeing the same counsellor now for over a year and i've found that having someone around longer term can be much nicer.
i'm here if you want to talk any time, though i can't say i'll be much help :)
WTF, I wrote this like 3 weeks ago? I was certain I wrote this in like November. ah hell.
I still havent seen new doc person and things have gone from worse to worser, if that makes sense?
I actually feel like im a danger to others now, i havent a clue what is going on, driving is terrifying like road signs come flying towards me like in tele. even just now im completely wiped out and have absolutely no attachment to anything in my house. got the music on and thats the only thing that seems real, thank you weezer.
i dont know if im fed up, depressed, disasociated big time or just beat. i do know i cant go on like this.
stupid head, be normal and fixed. this is crap.
need it to go away.
hush little baby, don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head
just thought I would bump this, I've JUST got an appointment with the, i don't know who. someone who apparently specializes in this stuff. Its on wednesday. i've only been waiting a year. joy.
Not much change, have had a hellish year so far, lost a grandparent and just quit my job. I hope this guy on wednesday can help.
hush little baby, don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head
